Clap Your Hands If You Believe...

Daytime, Wayne Whitaker says "I'm here because I believe that Elwood Indiana has become a center of extraterrestrial activity." Kim from Cornfield says "There was this light and then Patrick just vanished." Sparrow Jennings says "It's all happening, you know? I mean, these entities have come to help push humanity to the next stage." Wayne says "My name is Wayne Whitaker, Jr., and I have personally recorded dozens of eyewitness accounts, strange lights in the sky, mysterious presences attempting contact." Sheriff says "Since this whole damned circus has blown into town, no one seems to realize we got four missing persons cases wide open. My friends lost loved ones." Kim asks "What happened to him? Something took him! I know it!" Wayne says "We are right in the middle of what we in the field like to call a "UFO flap," and I am as happy as a pig in shoes." Sheriff says "I can guarantee you that this has nothing to do with UFO's, little green men. Nothing extraterrestrial whatsoever." Marion says "Of course it's not UFO's. It's fairies." Dean says "Fairies. Okay. Well, thank you for your input." Sam says "What? Flying saucers not insane enough for you?" Marion says "What newspaper did you say you worked for?" Sam says "Okay, if you want to add glitter to that glue you're sniffing, that's fine, but don't dump your whackadoo all over us. We'd rather not step in it." Sarah says "Okay, we're, we're done." Sam says "The only thing you're missing is a couple dozen cats, sister." Dean says "It's a blood sugar thing. My apologies."

Sam says "What?" Dean says "What? You gotta ask? Right, yes, you do have to ask." Sam says "Look, I'm sorry, but this is all a big joke, right, and we're not actually taking this UFO crap seriously?" Dean says "No, man ET is made of rubber and everybody knows that, But there are four legitimate vanishings in this town. Something's going on and Sam? By the way, it's not the lady's fault that she took the brown acid." Sam says "Yeah! So?" Sarah says "Empathy, man. Empathy. I mean, the old Sam would have given her some, some wussified, dew-eyed crap." Sam says "Old Sam had a soul—was a soul. Whatever." Dean says "Right! Yes, and, and, but you don't—aren't. Whatever." Sam says "Right." Dean says "Right. You don't care." Sam says "Well--." Dean says "You have to care!" Sam says "About what, exactly?"

Dean says "About everything, man! About being human at least." Sam says "Look Dean and Sarah you both obviously care. A lot and that's great. But I can't care about what—I can't care about it, you know? What do you want me to do, fake it?" Sarah says "Yes. Absolutely. Fake it. Fake it till you make it." Sam asks "What happened to you wanting me to be all honest?" Dean says "Hey, you wanna be a real boy, Pinocchio, you gotta act the part." Sam says "I was faking it Dean! Ever since we got back on the road together, I was picking every freaking word. It's exhausting." Dean says "Okay. All Right. But until we get you back on the soul train, I'll be your conscience, okay?" Sam says "So you're saying you'll be my... Jiminy Cricket." Dean says "Shut up. But yeah, you freaking puppet. That's exactly what I'm saying."

Brennan's Watchworks, Sarah asks "Mr. Brennan?" Mr Brennan says "Mmm?" Sam says "We're with The Mirror. We would like to ask you--" Mr Brennan says "What? Is this about Patrick? Patrick's gone." Dean says "Missing. Right. Yes, that's what we want to talk to you about." Sam says "Now, your son was the first to disappear." Mr.Brennan says "First to be taken." Sam says "Taken." Mr.Brennan says "Get out! Out!" Sarah says "Mr. Brennan, who do you believe took your son?" Mr.Brennan says "You people can't help me. My boy is never coming back." Sam says "You sound awfully sure." Mr.Brennan says "Excuse me?" Sam says "Like you know something you're not talking about." Dean says "Okay. All right." Mr.Brennan says "You know what they say. 72 hours. After that, the odds of finding a missing person drop to nothing, right?" Sarah says "Well, every case is different." Mr.Brennan says "It's been weeks."

Dean says "All right. Listen. Call us if anything comes to mind." Sam,Sarah and Dean exit Mr Brennan says to thin air "Is that all right?" Sarah asks "What do you think?" Dean says "I think he's hiding something. Why don't you stay and watch Watchmaker and see what happens when the sun goes down, and we'll go check out the crop circles." Sam says "Okey dokey." Dean says "But do NOT engage with, maim or in any way kill Brennan. In fact, I don't want you making any judgment calls whatsoever. Anything happens, call me or Sarah." Sam says "You know, Jiminy, I was on my own for a whole year. I did fine without you." Dean says "Yeah. I don't want to know your definition of fine." Nighttime In the cornfield Sarah and Dean is looking around. Phone rings Dean sighs "What?" Sam says "The only thing this guy is up to is alcoholism." Dean says "Good."

Sam says "You know, maybe I should go talk to him again. I mean, you're the one who said he's hiding something." Dean says "Shh! Shh!" Sam says "What? You see something? Dean, what's up?" Sarah isn't with Dean they separate to look in different directions and Dean says "Hang on a second. Holy... UFO! UFO!!" Sam says "Whoa! Dude, stop yelling. You're breaking up. I didn't catch that last part." Dean says "Close encounter! Close encounter!" Sam says "Close encounter! What kind? First? Second?" Dean says "They're after me!" Sam says "Third kind already? You better run, man. I think the fourth kind is a butt thing." Dean says "Empathy, Sam! Empathy!" Sam asks "They still after you?" Dean says "Come on." Sam says "Dean? Are you there? What happened? Dean?" A waitress hands Sam a beer "Thanks."

Nighttime. Sam and Sarah is in the cornfield and finds Dean's ringing phone. Turns it off, Nighttime. RV camp of UFO enthusiasts Sarah says "So, they're real. UFO's." Wayne says "Like I said before, daughter, the truth is out there." Sam says "Okay, you're the expert. How do we get them?" Wayne says "Come again?" Sam says "You hunt ET's, right? We need to know how to get them." Wayne says "You and us two both." Sarah rifles through UFO literature and says "Well, I'd say that 30 years of eyewitness accounts speak for themselves as incontrovertible proof—" Wayne says "Yeah, right. My brother and friend was abducted so we're pretty good on the whole proof part." Pretty girl walks up and joins the conversation and Sparrow says "Your brother/friend was abducted?" Sarah says "Yeah." Sparrow says "Oh my God." Sam says "It's fine. I mean, I've had time to adjust." Sparrow asks "Did it happen when you were kids?" Sam says "No, like, half an hour ago. So, you've been hunting UFO's for over three decades and you basically have no concrete data and zero workable leads."

Wayne says "Well, I—" Sam says "Have you considered the possibility that you suck at hunting UFO's?" Sparrow says "I'd like to help. If I can." Sam smiles, Nighttime in the cornfield, Dean is back, yelling and shooting his gun wildly in the air and Sam says "Dean and Sarah." Dean says "What the hell?" Sparrow says "Oh that's Dean! Sam, they brought your brother back." Sparrow grabs her clothes, Okay. It's all right, Sam. I so totally understand that you need time as a family. But it's just—what were they like?" Dean says "They were grabby, incandescent douche bags. Good night." Sparrow says "Too soon... ? Okay." Sparrow leaves and Sam says "You're upset." Dean says "I was abducted and were banging Patchouli." Sam says "I didn't think she smelled that bad."

Dean says "I was abducted by aliens!" Sam says "I was looking into it." Dean says "Looking into it! I was gone for, like, an hour." Sam says "An Hour—" Dean says "And most of that was walking back to town!" Sarah stays quiet and Sam says "Dean, I think your watch is off. You've been gone all night." Dean asks "What are you talking about? No I haven't. Four a.m.?" Sam says "Yeah! UFO time slip. That actually falls in line with a lot of abduction stories." Dean says "Falls in line..." Sam says "Yeah." Dean says "Nothing's falling in line." Sarah says "Here. Drink. Good." Dean says "Thanks." Sam says "Yeah. Now. Come on. Talk to me. What happened?" Dean says "Well, uh, there was this... God help me, Sam, Sarah there was this bright white light!"Sarah says "It's okay." Sarah puts her arm on his shoulder and his smiles at her and he continues "And then suddenly, I was, uh, I was in a different place and there were these beings, and they were too bright to look at, but I could feel them pulling me towards this sort of table—"

Sam says "Probing table!" Dean says "God! Don't say that out loud!" Sam asks "Right. So what did you do?" Dean says "I went crazy. I started hacking and slashing and firing. They actually seemed surprised. I don't think anybody's ever done that before. Yeah. I had a close encounter, Sam, Sarah and I won." Sam says "You should take a shower." Dean says "I should take a shower. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take a shower now." Daytime in Diner, Dean says "So, on top of all the demons and the angels and the ghosts and the skinwalkers, it turns out that there's—so if aliens are actually real, what's next? Hobbits? Seriously." Sam gives a passing girl the silent how ya doin' "You just gave her the silent how ya doin'." Sam says "What?" Dean says "Our reality's collapsing around us, and you're trying to pick up our waitress?"

Sam says "Yeah. Okay. Look. Brings up a question. So, say you both got a soul on a case, and your brother/friend gets abducted by aliens—" Dean says "Yeah, then you do everything you can to get him back." Sam says "Right! You do, but, what about when there are no more leads for the night? Are you supposed to just sit there in the dark and suffer, even when there's nothing that can be done at that moment?" Dean says "YES." Sam says "What?" Dean says "Yes, you sit in the dark and feel the loss." Sam says "Absolutely! But couldn't I just do all that and have sex with the hippie chick?" Dean says "No!" Sam says "It'd be in the dark." Sarah says "No you couldn't because you would be suffering, and you can't just turn that off for the night." Waitress says "Thank y—." Sam says "Why not?" Dean says "Because if you had a soul, your soul wouldn't let you." Sam says "So you're saying having a soul equals suffering." Dean says "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." Sam says "Like, the million times you almost called Lisa. So you're saying suffering is a good thing."

Dean says "I'm saying it's the only game in town." Sam says "Okay! So how do we deal with the little green men?" Sarah says "Research. We've got about a century of UFO lore to catch up on, and there's no time for—Dean interrupts and asks "What's up with that guy?" A guy is standing outside the diner, glaring at Dean,he's wearing a red cap "Who?" Dean says "The guy by the window giving me the stink eye." Sam says "You mean the cop?" Dean says "No, not the cop! The guy! He's right—oh now he's gone!" Dean says "Can we please just get out of here before I hit you?" Sam says "Okay, geez." Dean is in motel room, on telephone with Sam and Sarah sitting on the other bed doing some research, Sam says "Library's closing up soon. I'm almost done." Dean asks "You find anything?" Sam says "Yeah. Way too much. Everyone on the planet believes in UFO's, and they will not stop writing books about it." Dean says "Yeah, well at least books have punctuation. All right, keep digging and we'll see what you got when you get back." David Bowie's Major Thom is playing on the radio in the motel room. The lights start to flicker "Oh no. Not again." Door slams open. Bright ball of light comes flying into the room and Dean says "Nipples?" Sarah looks over at Dean completely confused, Bright light punches Dean in the face, Dean says "BITCH!" Dean says "Ha ha. HA-HAA!!" Ding.

Sam, Sarah and Dean are peering into the microwave Sam asks "See what?" Dean says "See what? See the blood. See all the blechh." Sam says "Sorry, man. I'm not seeing it." Dean asks "You don't see the ick? It's right there." Sarah says "Okay, let's go with you see it and I don't. What the hell was it?" Dean says "It was a, a little...naked lady, okay?" Sam asks "It was a what?" Dean says "It was a-- it was a little, glowing, hot naked lady with nipples and she hit me." Sam says "We're not supposed to laugh, right? Right. Okay. Sure. Um. So, shot in the dark here, but did this little lady have wings?" Dean says "What the hell made you say that?" Sarah says "She did, didn't she?" Dean says "Yeah, but how did, how'd y—" Sam says "One of the fringier theories I came across. It's actually what crazy crystal lady was yammering about. What if these abductions have nothing to do with UFO's?"

Dean says "What?" Sarah says "Okay, say these encounters have been going on for centuries, not with extraterrestrials but with ultra-terrestrials. People nowadays say "space aliens "or whatever, but they used to call them—" Sarah spins laptop around and Dean says "Smurfs." Sarah says "Fairies." Dean says "Fairies? Come on!" Sam says "Dean, there's a straight line between ET's and fairies. Glowing lights, abductions. It's all the same UFO stuff, just under a different skin." Dean says "You seriously think that the secret with UFO's is—" Sam interrupts and says "Hey, you're the one who pizza-rolled Tinkerbell. I'm just doing the math. But this is good and this is a lead." Dean asks "A lead where?"

Marion's trailer, Tea is served. In itty bitty cup Marion says "Fairies, Sprites and spriggens. Bogarts and brownies and the little people have many names." Dean points at the figurine "Well, that's, uh, that's her. That's the little—" Marion says "Ooh." Sarah says "Anyway, I, uh, I get that tinkerbells are fairies, but what about the tiny Santa Claus and the troll and the—" Marion says "That's a garden gnome, and that's a large goblin, and—" Dean asks "But they're all fairies?" Marion says "Yes. Faery comes in many shapes and sizes. Magical, mischievous beings from the realm next door." Dean says "The fairy realm." Marion says "Mm-hmmm." Sam asks "So it's like another dimension?" Marion says "Another reality! Yes. Only people who have been there and returned to our world can see the Faery here." Dean says "Right. Umm, why are the fairies abducting people?"

Marion says "Mmm. There is much theory and little fact. We know they only take firstborn sons, just like Rumplestiltskin did. Personally, I think they're taken to Avalon to service Oberon, the King of the Faery." Sam asks "Dean? Did you service Oberon, King of the Fairies?" Dean says "Marion. Um. Let's say fairies are real, okay? What can we do about them?" Marion says "Sorry?" Dean says "How can we....." Marion says "Interact with them." Dean says "Yes, yes. Forcefully interact." Marion says "Well, if you want to win a faery's favor, leave a bowl of fresh cream. They love cream." Dean says "Okay! And, and, more forcefully?" Marion says "Ohhh. All Faery hate iron, and the dark Faery burn when touched with silver. What else. Oh! You can spill sugar or salt in front of them. No matter how powerful, the Faery must stoop to count each grain."

Dean says "Well, alrighty. That's—Wow! A lot to absorb. Thank you." Marion says "Oh, oh, stay! Finish your tea." Dean says "I gotta say I, I love the feel—it's uhh, it's..." Sam says "It's like Sedona, Arizona, crapped in here." Sarah says "Cute-a-riffic! Is what it is." Marion laughs and Dean says "Cute-a-riffic." Sam asks "You have bigger cups?" Sarah, Dean and Sam are walking outside and Dean asks "God, is it on me? I feel like I've got the crazy on me." Sam says "No. You did sit in some glitter, though." Dean says "Makes me want to believe in UFO's again." Sam says "Doesn't really give us the next move, I grant you that. We can always put the call out to Bobby." Sarah, Dean and Sam see Mr. Brennan buying a flat of cream Sarah says "Hey. I'll be damned. Isn't that the watch guy?" Sam says "Huh. They love cream." At Brennan's Watchworks, and Sarah, Dean and Sam are watching him carry cream into the store and Dean says "All right you stick with half and half, and we're going to check out his store and no hippie chicks!" Dean breaks into back door of Brennan's Watchworks and they both sneaks inside and sees brownies making watches and they both sneak out again.

Sam is at bar watching Mr. Brennan. Phone rings "Yeah?" Sarah says "Freaking full of Keeblers over here, man. Just full of 'em." Sam says "What?" Sarah is on loud speaker and Dean says "It's like the story with the shoe guy and all the elves. Hey, you think Brennan made a deal with a bunch of fairies?" Sam says "Lemme get back to you." They hang up, and Sam approaches Mr. Brennan at the bar "So, Mr. Brennan. Hello again." Mr.Brennan says to Sam "Leave me alone." Sam says "Did I ever mention how beautiful your work is?" Mr.Brennan says "What?" Sam says "The watches. Just stunning. What I can't figure out is how one man can put out that much product. I mean, hell! If I didn't know better, I'd say you have a bunch of elves working for you. Except I do know better, and you have a bunch of elves working for you." Mr.Brennan says "You're insane."

Sam says "So, tell me. How does a father decide to trade his son for a bunch of watches? I mean, I assume you have a soul so what's your excuse?" Mr.Brennan says "You don't understand. It wasn't like that." Sam asks "Then how was it?" Dean and Sarah walks along the sidewalk, sees the Redcap from the diner standing across the street, staring at him again, Dean sneaks away and he takes Sarah with him. Back at the bar with Sam and Mr. Brennan and he says "I supported my family for 30 years making those watches. It's the only thing I know how to do. Parkinson's. Was losing my hands. I was losing everything. My grandmother, she always used to say that they were real. She told me all of these stories when I was a kid about how to summon them, how to get favors from them." Sam says "So you learned how to work a spell." Mr.Brennan says "I mean, honestly, I doubted it would even work. I was just desperate. But she left me this book, so I did the ceremony in my back office two months ago, and this man appeared and said he was a leprechaun."

Sam says "A leprechaun." Mr Brennan says "asked him just to cure my hands, but he said he would do even better. He would make me more successful than I had ever been. He told me he'd bring a crew of workers, that I could save my business, save my name." Sam says "In exchange for?" Mr Brennan says "He just wanted a place for them to rest, to take of the fruit and fat of the land. I said yes. I wasn't thinking." Sam asks "And the fruit and the fat was?" Mr.Brennan says "My firstborn. Not just mine. There's been others. They're not stopping. They're not going to stop." Sam asks "There's gotta be a way to reverse the spell." Mr.Brennan says "There is, But the book is in a safe in my shop. They won't let me near it. It's been a nightmare." Sam says "You can see the fairies?" Mr.Brennan says "Yes."

Dean and Sarah is walking down the sidewalk, trying to avoid the Redcap they ducks into an alley and the Redcap follows Dean and Sarah turns a corner and flattens themselves a wall then launches out and tackles a little person. Little Person says "Wha---? Help! Help!" Dean says "Little fairy! What do you want, you fairy? Huh? Huh? Fairy!!" Sarah is in shock and horror and the little girl screams "Daddy!!" Dean says "Oh God no. Haha! I'm just kidding!" Sam and Mr. Brennan turn a corner and are walking down the same street Sarah and Dean is on. Sam is trying to call Dean on his phone, "Don't worry, Brennan. We can do this. My brother, Sarah and I are gonna cover you while you reverse the ritual." Sam sees Dean being cuffed and arrested. There's a small crowd of onlookers and he sees Sarah and asks "Sarah Hey what happened?" Dean notices and says "Sam.... Hey!" Dean is thrown into back seat of police car "What am I supposed to do?" Dean says "Fight the fairies. You two fight those fairies. FIGHT THE FAIRIES!!"

Dean is in Jail, Sheriff says "I'm just trying to understand exactly what kind of hate crime this even was." Dean says "It wasn't a hate crime." The Sheriff says "I mean, if this gentleman were a full-sized homosexual, would that be okay with you?" Dean says "I don't hate any size person, or any size... gay... guy." Sheriff says "He's not gay as it happens. But! He is the district attorney for Tipton County. Runs a tight ship, tell you what." Dean says "I'd say he's done so well for himself, considering his...considering these tough economic times." Sheriff says "Son, you are all kinds of messed up." The sheriff leaves Dean in jail to pace for hours at the Brennan Watchmakers. Sam, Sarah and Mr. Brennan sneak into the back door "Are they here?" Mr.Brennan says "Yeah, but it's all right. Greenhats like tequila."Mr. Brennan sneaks over to his safe and gets the spell book "lich sha-hayt. Uh keeya shun, augus small un sorashun, augus phooetek en shia, en rache connecsha...." Redcap leprechaun stabs Mr. Brennan in the back, Sarah says "You! You're the leprechaun?" Wayne Whitaker/Leprechaun says "Indeed I am. Sorry about the mess, but your friend here went back on his deal." Sam says "Well, you weren't very clear with him on the terms." Wayne/Leprechaun says "I told him there was a price. Once we come, we come to stay."

Sam says "So you take firstborns and then what? You just sit back and watch while they cover the abductions for you with all that crazy UFO crap? Which you help encourage, naturally. Nice con. But, your cover's blown now, *Wayne.*" Wayne/Leprechaun says "Blown? To whom? Brennan's dead. Your brother? Your Friend here? He's marked. Been to the ranch. He's ours now." Sam says "Yeah. Well. Then there's me." Wayne/Leprechaun says "You? But you can only see me if I let you." The leprechaun disappears and Sam says "True, but you'll have to get near me eventually, and I have very good reflexes." The Leprechaun asks "You're not like the rest of them, are you?" Sam says "Nope." Wayne/Leprechaun says "I could see that right off. You're missing a certain piece, right in the center, ain't you?"

Sam says "Says Who?" Wayne/Leprechaun says "We fairy folk? We're all about energy and the human soul gives off a certain perfume. Your soul is far away. But not completely out of reach." Sam says "Is that so?" Wayne/Leprechaun says "Sam, I can get it back for you. For a price." Sam says "That's adorable. It's locked in a box with the devil." Wayne/Leprechaun says "Your devil. Not mine." Sam says "There's no freaking way a leprechaun can do what angels cannot." Wayne/Leprechaun says "Angels. *laughs* Please. I'm talking about real magic, sonny. From my side of the fence. Got a way of getting in back doors." Sam asks "So you're my blue fairy? You can make me a real boy again?" Wayne/Leprechaun says "When you wish upon a star." Sam says "Yeah. I got a wish."

Sam shoots the leprechaun "Iron!! Painful, but not a deal breaker." Sam shoots the Leprechaun again, Dean, dejected, is in jail sitting on the cot. The redcap appears next to him. The Redcap laughs, pats Dean on the back and proceeds to beat him up Back in the watchmaker's shop, Sam, Sarah and the leprechaun are at fisticuffs. The magic demon-killing knife does not work on the leprechaun. Meanwhile, back at the jail, the assbeating continues "Come on, lad. You've both already taken your best shots." Sam says "You're right. I'm done shootin'. So do me a favor and count this." Sam empties a vial of salt onto the floor Leprechaun says "Oh no." Sam looks at Sarah and says "Why didn't I do that earlier?" Sarah shrugs her shoulders and her bottom lips comes out unsure, The leprechaun starts counting while Sam finishes the spell "Kum savaltcha..." Leprechaun says "One... three... ass." Sam says " Ar noyang, kun enna, ret augus..." Leprechaun says "Dammit." Sam says "Kkuum doinsha and getta wabasach shul!" The fairies disappear from the watchmaker's shop and from the jail.

Sarah, Dean and Sam are by the car. Dean offers them both a beer Sarah accepts but Sam rejects, Dean has a beer "So. Here's to the tiniest DA. At least they're dropping the charges." Sarah says "Little big man." Dean says "I was wondering something." Sam says "Yeah?" Dean says "You think Lucky Charms really could have , you know, soul to sender?" Sam says "Come on. It's crazy to think. He did talk a good game though." Dean says "You said no. Why?" Sam says "It was a deal. When's a deal ever been a good thing?" Dean says "I'm just trying to figure out how it works in there." Sam says "Dude, I do still have all my brain cells. If anything, my brain works better now." Dean says "Just making sure that's where your head's at. That you're not having second thoughts about getting your soul back." Sam says "Oh." Dean asks "You're not, are you?" Sam simply says "No."