Impact

The cold wind blowing through the air almost cutting it for I don't even know which time at this point. As something going down my spine, as a cold sweat from my forehead. I felt nothing even though I just spoke with a being with power far beyond what I could've ever imagined. I felt the pressure, but I ignored it. I just talked with her, like with a friend without any fear. And yet… She requested something from me. She wants me to climb that tree, the world tree…

The map I got from evil, it's in my mind. I see where I am and where everything is. This place, the place where I stand. In the middle, it's connected to six continents, six races. Right at the border of six different countries. A great spot for trading between all races and countries respectively. Making a city here… Wouldn't be that hard actually. Maybe I will urbanize this place into something that makes sense. Something that will put me on the map and in history, then, will I make my change. A future, thinking about the future in a time where the future is completely uncertain. I don't even know if we will escape this place.

Walking in the dark woods, feeling hollow, disgusting to a point. Scary, cold, and bare woods. The sound of grass in my ears rustle coming from crowns of trees. The leaves hitting each other or like paper. Making the sound. It made my whole body shiver, thinking that every sound like that maybe someone. Someone behind a bush, behind a tree, on the tree. Anything. Hiding behind lurking for my soul, trying to catch me. But once again, the words coming from that almost infinite being. I am 'Hayden the fearless'. One of the few praises I got throughout my entire life. One is dead, the second is falling from sanity, third is scared of me. But she will never die, never forget, never… Feel. Humanity's greatest flaw. Feelings.

I realized it, but now it showed even more. An animal would care for its own younglings even without real feelings. What makes us different from animals, we have feelings of hatred, humiliation, embarrassment. Everything is so weird… I don't want to think anymore, I don't want any of those to exist. No feelings, no thoughts, nothing. Maybe god… Was it an animal? The deer? A lion or anything else. What if God created animals before humans? That makes it even more wanting to become the tool of god. I want to purge all that isn't god. But it is already annoying, repeating it over and over again. Therefore, I have to keep those thoughts down, wait until I can fully utilize it all.

I went into the blackness once again, the blackness this time being the place I was heading to. The cave, a door made of wood, friends of mine right inside. Now… I probably lost Marcus's trust as well. Bog, Marcus. They probably don't see me as they saw me before. But I still have to pretend to be someone else. Estel, Matthew, and Finn still don't know, I don't think Bog told the goblin about me. Goblin… Probably more human than humans themselves, and all human creatures… What a weird thing. A monster was more humane than us…

I saw the entrance right before my eyes, I didn't want to enter right off the bat. Why? I am… I feel weird about entering this place. They are inside, my friends, even if one is scared, the second may be disgusted. But it makes all colors all the bluer, the dark wall now deep blue colored. Trees were… Bluer than already are. half white frost on the leaves and everything else, now also blue. Colors faded from the nice and warm orange, once again, to the cold and sad blue.

Nevertheless, standing in the cold may not be good for me. I went inside and looked at the five people inside, Estel still sleeping, Matthew at the edge of waking up. Marcus in the corner shivering. Bog looked at me with disgust, I ignored it and sat down. How easy it is to make someone hate you or have something against you. Is it fear, disgust, or even clear hatred. I only said what changed inside of me and he now feels completely distant from just before, from the moment we were training, the moment he wanted to follow me. Feelings. Are a bad thing, a wrong existing thing inside this weird world.

Marcus stared at me blankly, Finn was looking at Bog weirdly and wondered inside his eyes. He wants to know why those kinds of feelings are residing inside his eyes. That resentment, disgust, and some fear. I see all of it inside of his dark pupils. I really didn't expect it, I thought he wouldn't be someone like that. At this point, I also noticed that Matthew was slowly waking up, because of the fear. I was the one to cut the meat, the dagger from the flint in my hands. I looked at it… This was supposed to be the tool to take my own life. I deserve so much better than this… Dying in a fight would be great. But the greatest way would be to sacrifice me for the sake of god.

I cut another part of the meat, this time weirdly there was much less than I actually expected there to be. I then put it down somewhere on the fire, on a preheated stone plate I left there beforehand. The fat started to sizzle, Matthew is completely woken up but stunned by Marcus's position. By what is happening to him. He probably hasn't seen him so afraid for a long time. He also ignored that fact, even if weird he didn't want to be bothered by it from when he woke up. That's what I think at least and what I would do if I was him. A very weird thing but makes sense. We all just sat and looked at each other in silence. I looked at Bog and took a small glimpse of Marcus, Bog looked at me, Finn at Bog. When I looked very shortly at Matthew, he was focused on the rendering fat of the meat.

This went on for several minutes until the meat was done and Matthew took it out from the fire with a stick. He started eating. I was in a very weird spot at this point, I closed my eyes. I wanted to go back to the training and not feel the look of Bog on my spine. Closed my eyes, when they opened once again. The dark world, the being. The white being in front of me, a height I want to reach, mastery I have to achieve. A smirk on my face, a sound from that thing. Something like a bell, but not a bell… Weird thing. Does it want to say something?

It wasn't the time for me to think about what it was. It was time for me to fight, train. I ran straight at him. A spear in his hands swung and swished, I ducked the attack since it was at my head's level. Easy evasion, the sword in my hands now in a motion, swinging to the right. The being didn't think even for a second and created a shield, a short sword in the other hand, the right hand. My blade is still in the impasse unable to change into a shield, it wouldn't make sense to even change it. I threw it into the air and escaped the impasse, the being's swing missed. I caught the sword while falling. The sword of the person or rather something in front of me changed a sword into something different. Now into a mace, something I haven't seen from it yet, a different fight. I changed my sword into a shield, finally being able to do it when I want and not just once in a while. I blocked the attack but the sheer force still echoed throughout my bones making it feel almost as if they were about to shatter.

I got back to my feet, I hit my head with my own hand to come back here, to the whole situation. But when I got back to my senses, the large impersonation of sheer existence had a spear in his hand and made a large sweep. My head was disposed of, the very same moment I woke up. Once again pretty far away from him. Sweat falling down my head almost like a waterfall, gasping intensely and loudly because of the weird feeling. I didn't feel my neck. It wasn't there, just a space. It just felt very concerning. My head also felt as if it wasn't even there. A very bizarre feeling.

But I got on my feet once again, looked at it. Felt one more thing as bizarre as the one before. I enjoyed it, smiling.