Once a doll, not always a doll

Three people in one room, one sitting on a chair, one lying in the bed, and the last one sitting on the ground. All of them were constantly changing eye contact, one time it's me and Brun, the other Brun and Lily. It looks odd, someone might call it comical. And I don't blame that person for thinking that way. Because the thing that keeps us away from breaking this awkward silence and unnatural movements is the very thing that ends all things. Death, should I tell her that I had to kill her to save her?

"Come on, spit it out!" Lily was losing her patience, even her as the person close to me. She wants to know what is going on, what I did to save her. I- I just can't bring myself to say these words. I can't open my mouth. Guilt is holding me by the neck. It's hard to breathe, it's hard to talk and understand things. The one thing I am sure of is that my plan to lose that elf worked out well.