Chapter 2

Groggy, slow and tired, Saranie's body could barely move or function. Actually her right hand couldn't move. Her lifeforce was low, really low. Mana on the other hand… "ha ha ha… *cough*" it was about seventy percent full. So she hadn't been asleep long. Using it up, she used a diagnostic spell to see what she was dealing with.

Saranie had impacted on the front side of her body so her ribs were all broken in one way or another. Her organs were surprisingly fine, if she considered small cuts and bruises somewhat safe. There were many cuts over her body that had started to heal, except a wound on her right thigh, upper right shoulder blade and her left wrist. The same wrist she cut and the one she cannot currently move as there is no blood keeping her hand alive.

Despair set in right away after she took care of her internal injuries. While she could safely heal her body, dead things cannot be healed. Not like that.

"Then ag- *cough*" A thought occurred that her enhanced lifeforce might be able to do the job, but that was a big if and she didn't have nowhere near enough at the moment to heal her hand and the rest of her body. If it was possible, then she would try, but not now. She didn't believe it to be possible and her other injuries were taking all she had.

The pain and itching from healing her injuries spiked over her insides. The process took a long time.

After Saranie had flipped herself so her back was on the ground, she stared at the sky. The darkened clouds had broken apart from the explosion. Stars and the moon shined through. It was night and beautiful. It gave her peace to rest and sleep.

---

When she woke up, it was midday and quite hot out. The bodies around her were starting to rot away in the heat and she was following along with them. Her mana wasn't full, but she spent it over her lifeforce as she had closed her wounds before sleeping. Using her mana she cast a water spell in her mouth to make her comfortable and decrease her thirst.

She wasn't able to really move, but Saranie took the chance anyway. There was a forest nearby. A few kilometers from her position, but closer than a river or ocean. It would provide her cover to rest and recuperate from her injuries. It would also give her the chance to hopefully fix her hand. Of course, she would also be able to secure herself some food.

---

It took Saranie two days, from the point she started moving to now, to get to the forest. More like two days worth of bells, as she slept a lot and got delirious from the lack of food. There were a lot of stops along the way. Any food she had on her previously was gone and if she were to scavenge from the bodies, it would be rotten. Saranie would just need to hope for a fresh, poor animal to pass by in her field of vision under her tree.

Hobbling around she gathered sticks. Larger ones for a shelter and smaller ones to sustain a fire. Along her way she found berries, ones that were safe to eat. It had already been partially eaten over, while some were rotten, but the rest would be barely enough for a snack. Better than nothing.

Once she was fully healed up her plan was to get to the nearest village.

Setting up a fire, placing traps, with a small shelter, Saranie found herself already asleep. Her body needed rest. Lot's of it.

---

The next morning was cloudy, just like the last few days. This time it rained heavily. By what she assumed to be mid day, her shelter had been washed away in the rain.

It wasn't all bad though. Strangely or better yet amazing, her lifeforce had fully regenerated. Her skin had returned to its normal color instead of being pale. Sure she was still weak, but it was a start.

So with her mana, she created a barrier around herself. To keep out the strong wind and rain. Since it was freezing cold, she created a heated aura around herself.

"I wonder how they'll react."

While Saranie had been wandering these past few days she has been more focused on survival. Not thinking about what happened before or the future. Afterall she was exhausted and tired, even in pain.

It didn't help that she had sealed her right hand off from the rest of her body by using her limited lifeforce before it could negatively affect her body.

But it wasn't until now that she felt a little bit better that her mind started to wander. To the orphanage. The little ones she had left behind, the caretakers, and of course Tripharem. Time would have made them grow over these past six years. She could only hope that the youngest ones were safe. Others would have been drafted into the war, but that was life.

---

The rain wasn't letting up. It had been bells since she started moving this morning. Many breaks later and she was still moving through the forest. Considering the battle recently, it wasn't a surprise that there were few animals around, just disappointing for her stomach.

"I need something to eat!" Saranie screamed in frustration.

---

One thing war was not, was lonely. There she had allies, a kingdom behind her. Friends that would watch each other's backs. Enemies that fought for the same thing she did. War was not something one person could do alone.

Right now Saranie was alone. No animals, no bugs, no people, friends, family… "It's lonely without anyone." Saranie had started to mumble out.

Her hunger made it difficult to think, to focus. Water was abundant with her magic and the rain.

"Stupid rain. Maybe if it rained deer." Her words were childish.

By her guess it had been a week now since the rain started. Walking and searching. It was all forest and water. The mud made the travel worse if not impossible. Without food Saranie was just withering away.

Her lifeforce had replenished, but to do that it took a lot out of her. Not as much as it should have, however she guessed it had to do with how it changed. The bright and colorful slab of meat that her lifeforce had become. It was a mystery. Something she would need to ask a butcher. Perhaps it wasn't even something she needed to worry about at all. All she needed was a fire to cook it…

---

Saranie was choking. Her eyes shot open in panic. It didn't help as there was just mud. Her right hand wasn't much help pushing it away as it was already dead. Her left hand found a branch to grab, but there was nothing to move around with. There was a great amount of mud, dirt, water, and twigs crushing her. Whatever happened she didn't know and she was running out of time.

Opening her mouth got filled with mud right away, but it was watery enough that could bite on her lip and swallow the mud. It would be disgusting if she wasn't so hungry. Although even as her life was on the line the lack of food hindered her movements. It didn't matter as the blood filled up her mouth. With it she used her lifeforce to create a barrier around her, then using another spell to expel everything inside and around her, away from her.

Saranie noticed something. When everything was pushed away from her, all the mud on top barely moved. The rest just squeezed through gaps. It meant that she was deep under a lot of earth, very deep. Considering the force her lifeforce pushed everything away.

Using her mana now, she created air so she could breath, but it wouldn't last. Right now she was stuck and considering what she remembered, she would need to hurry up.

There are hazy memories of her walking off from the cave to search for something to eat. Along the way a pit in the ground opened up and swallowed her whole. Considering the rain, it was inevitable that something like this would happen.

Saranie then grabbed her dagger, which was thankfully still with her, and cut her right arm. Once again she bled. Just like closing the portal, she would need a lot of lifeforce for this.

Focusing her attention, thankfully being in a survival situation like this she was lucid, the lifeforce gathered directly above and below her. First sending essentially a pillar of raw magic upward, then following up by pushing her along with it just in case anything tries to fall back through the hole she creates.

Fully charged, Saranie releases both spells one after the other. Large amounts of mud and soil fly up in the air and she follows along. Until about halfway up a large tree slams into her barrier quickly sending her back and filling back up the hole.

"No!"

Right now she is repairing the barrier with her mana constantly after using up so much of her lifeforce. Trapped and with not much left, she was stuck.

'What do I do? Please. Please don't-' Her thoughts became erratic. "No! No! I won't die!" She was scared. Her mana was running out and the air would soon follow. Fear ran rampant in her mind. So much flashed within her mind, not even Saranie could keep up with it.

---

'Deep breaths.' She would run out of air before her barrier collapsed if she kept freaking out.

She knew this was the end for her. It felt just like when she closed the portal, the first time. Knowing that the end was close for her. Even if that was a vision or premonition, whatever it was, her thoughts were drawn to the safety of the garden.

Times were tough and safe. The garden in the back provided her a place to think. To get her feelings out. The smell of enclosed nature filled her nostrils rather than the rain filled muck she was in. A bright rainbow colored light covered her vision.

---

When Saranie found herself on the ground looking at the sun, she was relieved.

"Is this real?" Words filled with relief came out. "So was that also an illusion or is this? Which one is real? Both? Neither?" Then she thought about it.

What if neither were illusions? After all she tested all outcomes before that she could think of, stretching it a bit, but she still believed it to be an illusion. So a vision? Even if it was, she was no seer. "Only after saving the world I become one?" Saranie shook her head at that thought.

Maybe that is part of it. Her lifeforce changed and that persisted through everything since destroying the portal the first time. Even now it is full, the same as her mana. Putting her finger in her mouth she bit down on it till it bled. She cast a simple water spell as she was slightly parched. Multicolored lights created the water and it fell into her mouth. That proved that it was consistent for her. Then she used mana to heal her finger and stand up.

So if her lifeforce could change, then maybe there was a magic affecting her that allowed her to go back in time? Through time? Was it her memories?

Looking over her right hand that was healed and no longer black, she stretched it and moved towards the orphanage.

It was morning. She remembered this moment as it was early in her life and this was the first time stayed up all night to watch the moon ride around and the sun rise. Even if she was a little chilled and tired, it was invigorating. Compared to what happened before this was divine.

"Ha ha ha." It actually hit her hard there. Saranie laughed out loud. Falling on the ground, tears filled her eyes. She had almost died, expecting death when she closed the portal; thrown back in the past while bumbling around; then ending up back and closing the portal again, only to find herself without food for… a long time; then because of that she falls down a sinkhole being buried alive with no way out; only to come back in the past.

Even though she laughed, the pain was still there. Saranie broke apart.

---

Being tired and breaking down mentally, Saranie found herself back in her room at the orphanage.

'Someone brought me here.' It made sense to her that a caretaker or another kid brought her to her room.

Sitting up, she found her hands shaking. Death. Alone. Fear. 'Deep breath.'

The sun was starting to go down out the window. Not a cloud in the sky. No rain. She was hungry, but first she had to take care of business. Getting off the bed, in her tiny form, Saranie opened the door and went over to where the bathroom was. There were voices coming just out of sight. Like one kid talking about how he couldn't wait for the festival in a few months.

The wooden floor and walls creaked whenever there was movement. Dusty floors and walls would be cleaned once a week and it was nearing that time. She found the bathroom. Based on her memory, Yunara would have died a month or two ago at this point.

So if this is an ability of hers, then how does it work? From what she could tell, as long as she remembers 'something' then she gets sent to that point. She has only thought of the garden. There isn't just a single memory for the garden, just in general. So could she be more accurate with it? Then is she within the memory itself or did she really go back in time? Could she kill someone now and then think of a future memory, skip there, then find out if that person is dead or not? Then again how long does this last? Could she essentially live another life?

Washing her hands, Saranie sighed and walked out of the room. Heading towards the kitchen. There she watched the teenagers prepping dinner. Sneaking around one of the tables, she grabbed the bowl with dried meat. If she was being honest, lacking food had made her mad hoping to eat meat. As soon as it entered her mouth there was a single tear shed for it.

---

Saranie didn't talk to anyone. There were some of her 'friends' that had checked up on her, along with caretakers, but she stayed quiet and avoided them. It didn't feel 'real'. To her the meat was real, the cold coming from outside was real, even the smell of the rat droppings just out of sight was real, but the people were not real. They had left, forgotten and even died in her past. Seeing them again was strange to her, a weird feeling. But if she believed them to be real she might break down again. That was something she didn't want.

Not yet at least.

So where does she go from here?

"I guess I should start finding out the limitations." It would give her information that she needed as well as help her with future goals. "First things first, how accurate is this?"

Focusing on a memory, while sitting on a bench in the orphanage, Saranie had her eyes closed. The moment she had chose was the first time she created her first dagger and the one that stayed with her throughout the whole war. Tripharem had watched her the whole time, giving her space and was available to guide her. Right after she sharpened it and fitted the grip on, she stabbed her finger with it. As her master said…

"As a blacksmith, you put everything into your work. Your whole body and mind. The blood signifies your connection to the blade." He walked closer. "I'm proud of you Saranie." He shook her hand and gave her a clean cloth to wrap her hand with.

Saranie was currently standing in front of her master with a smile on her face. As proud as he is, this was her first creation. It helped her through so many hardships.

But that wasn't all. This ability was accurate. She could go anywhere she wanted at any time. There wasn't much effort she needed to put in, as long as she thought of something, the switch was clean and fast. Though there was a problem that if it's too easy and she accidently dreamt of a place, she might wake up on the battlefield. Jarring yes, but it could put her life in danger if life were to settle down.

Then again there was more she needed to test.

Standing there, Saranie thought about the first moment she met Yunara. The little girl passing by her. She never even made eye contact, just the color of her dirty blue dress.

Flash of colors and she was there.

"…so that's what I'm thinking." One of the kids next to Saranie had finished speaking. A boy… she couldn't remember his name right now.

Saranie didn't join their conversation or say anything. All she cared about right now was Yunara. So she walked away from the kids with her mana and lifeforce were topped off again.