We Meet Again

I started my lesson with my teacher and his new students. My teacher is a part of a famous orchestra here in our country, a concert master who plays the violin— Sir Ice. Aaron was great as always with his lessons and so was Blythe, the other student who is a pianist like myself. The practice was already over when I decided to stay to practice more.

I played a piece composed by Beethoven to relax myself for I've been thinking how to make my Mom talk to me again. After what had happened, either she never goes out of her room or she was always out.

"You're so stiff, Louella" a voice began. I thought all of them had already gone home. I glanced at the door to see Aaron's face, smiling. I ignored him and continued playing the piano. He stood next to me, listening to the sound of the piano. He opened his violin case and raised it as he plays with me, I unintentionally adjusted which made me play the accompaniment. This is amazing. We're in harmony. My hands are moving on its on, the black and white keys flash before my eyes making my fingers respond to time and rhythm. I feel peace and something about his personality is calming, yet entertaining.

After the last stroke of the bow, and the last note was played. Aaron was shocked of how we connected. I'm surprise too because I never felt this way before. It's more stimulating, specially with a great violinist like him. He smiled until it reached his ears.

"Whoa! That was..Breathtaking"

I'm astonished. No one ever said that before. I did all my best since I was a kid but no one praised me like he did. I blushed, looking at the piano to hide my face.

"You're amazing Louella. Truly" as he put away his violin. I'm happy that someone praised me but if it's not my mother, I can't feel anything else. But him, it feels like I want him to keep praising me. But as I remember my Mom, the feeling of suffocation overcame me again. "I have to be better" as I press the keys playing a song.

"Oh? How better do you wanna be?"

"Better than you" I bluntly said, glaring at him. "I'm honored to be complimented by you Louella" he grins wildly.

"It wasn't a compliment"

"Why don't I teach you how to improve your skills? You're lacking something" he said, sitting next to me. "And I lack..what?" irritated by his question.

"What you lack is.." staring at me "Love" as he stands up, putting his violin in his case. "What do you mean. Love?" I question, obviously confuse. I had lost my love for music because it was suffocating. Every time I play, my Mom would always be there fixing everything that misfit her eyes.

"Whenever you play, you tend to be vulnerable yet tempting. It makes the people want to hear more. But the look on your eyes seems lonely like it longs for something. To become a good piano player, one must love music." he explains, getting closer. "The love of music can help you truly understand the music you play, so that you can play it well. And that is what you lack" pointing at my face. I shrug it off as I glare at him.

"Tell me.. Do you want to be free?"

I couldn't find the right words to say. Everything that I hid from the bottom of the hole, he just dug it all up making me wanting to say everything to him. I started getting nervous, my palms sweating. This is the first time I had a conversation like this with someone. I breathe deeply, keeping my composure.

"My mom wants me to be better than I am now" I started, playing with my fingers.

" I was around 8 years old when she started making me practice nonstop until I do everything right. I couldn't go out or eat unless I perfect the piece. It felt like the keys were strangling me as I play. But I had to do it" I stared at him, looking all sympathetic.

"..For my Mom" wiping the tear that fell. There's no point if I even tell him about my past. He wouldn't even understand the pain I'm going through.

"I can help you improve" as he starts playing the piano

"I don't need your help" I honestly said. I can do this by myself, I can make my Mom proud without anybody's help. If I need help then that means I am not enough, incompetent and does not deserve being called her daughter. "Yes, you do" he insisted. "For starters, you play like this.." he shows me him playing the piano like a stiff person whose had pain in his backbone his whole life. I laughed as he tries to imitate how I play. He stared at me laughing which made me uncomfortable, returning to a dull face.

"It's okay you know. You won't to go hell for laughing.. and you're pretty when you laugh. You should laugh often"

He smiled, continuing to play. I couldn't answer. I was stunned by what he said. It made me feel a little happy for his compliment because no one ever compliments a person like me. "Listen, Louella" calling me. I focused as he teaches me about my problems. It was soothing, being with him was fun. I told him I didn't need his help and was rude to him. Nonetheless, he was still smiling and helped me correct my wrong doings.

"We should do this everyday" I suggest jokingly. Aaron smiled, assuming what I meant what I said. "Yes! We should do that" standing up, grabbing his stuffs and his violin.

"See you again tomorrow, Louella"

Before I could say anything, he was gone. I sighed. What did I put myself into? Well. I'll just tell him tomorrow that it was a joke. I packed up my stuff and got home. As I arrived home, my Mom and I passed each other. I noticed how she has slimmed down. I got worried so I asked her.

"Mom, are you feeling alright? Have you eaten? Do you want to go to the hospital? "

She glared at me, looking from my feet to my face. I shivered. From the looks on her eyes, it was saying not to talk to her. Like I'm nothing but a mistake or something.

"No" she replied, walking out to her room. She slammed the door so loud I got surprised. That's how she doesn't want to talk to me. Heck, maybe she doesn't even want to look at me.

I'm not happy with this kind of treatment so there's only one solution for her to talk to me. It's to improve. And by doing that, I need to practice even more. I had always loved playing the piano.

There is always silent and peaceful moment. I sit on the edge of my old chair, close my eyes and feel the music as I play. Before, I felt my heart fills with joy and sadness with the movement of the melodies. If only It was always like that. Now, I feel nothing but emptiness. It doesn't cheer me up. Looking at the piano makes me remember all the things I had to do to be what I am now. And I want to feel it all again, the energy and happiness when I play the piano. But how?