23) Silver Lining: Emma

Mom took it very well.

Emma had given her mom a letter in which she came out, and Mom had taken it well. She had cried a bit, but she had been proud that Emma had told her and did not need Bailey's help to do it. Not that getting help was weak, but she was proud because Emma had felt brave enough to do it by herself.

"Dear Mom"

The letter had said

"I know that we have been through a lot as a family, and I have added my fair share to the family problems. I in no way wish to be more trouble, but I have something very important to tell you.

I am gay, which means that I like girls and girls only. Please feel free to ask questions about my sexuality so that I can help you understand.

Kat already knows about my sexuality, but you can tell me when you are ready to let Nat and Lee know. It can be your choice, and I wont push you.

I hope that you still love me and that nothing has changed in our relationship.

Your daughter,

Emma"

Mom had hugged Emma and told her that nothing had changed, and for the first time, Emma had felt really a part of the family that had always made her feel like the black sheep.

Mom said that she was happy that Emma had come to terms with who she was, and that she should have confidence in the person that she was, and not care about what other people though. She was Emma, and she was a great person.

Mrs Arense said the same thing to Emma.

"Don't let other people and their opinions and ideas of how you should act, be or react, change who you are. Who you truly are is the most important thing, and you will lose yourself trying to fill the unrealistic expectation that society places upon you"

Were her exact words. She was wise, and Emma was striving to be like her. To be as brave, confident and have a high self-esteem. She wanted to be like Mrs Arense.

She had never had feelings for the teacher, it had only been that she had admired her, loved who she was, not her herself. She had wanted to be like her, not be with her. She wanted to be her friend, not her lover.

It all made perfect sense now. It was clear in Emma's mind, and she finally could answer the question that had plagued her silently for months on end.

Mrs Arense was her role model, the person that she looked up to. Her friend even, but never had she had a crush on her. She had simply been confused about the truth. She had been confused about her feelings.

Emma understood it now, she understood the difference between having feelings for someone, and admiring someone. She had simply forced the idea into her head of kissing Mrs Arense, it had not been a real desire. There was the desire to be close to her, but certainly not in a romantic way.

"I had feelings for her." Emma told Mrs Arense slowly

"I know that you did."

"Bailey and I kissed, but we realised that it ruined our friendship. We also realised that our friendship was far more valuable than any teenage relationship."

"I am glad that you figured that out. It is very important that you know that. How are you two now?"

"We are good, we are never to speak about the kiss again, it was the only way to fix the mistake that we both made. Our friendship is as strong as it was before now, I feel like I can tell her everything again."

"I am really glad, it is important that you have friends, and I have noticed that you seem so much happier lately."

"Well, that is also because I am taking pills now. I don't hear the voices anymore, and it is great. I feel so much happier now that I don't feel the depression anymore... and I have not cut for a full month now."

"I am very happy about that, Emma. I am proud of you."

Emma smiled. She felt happy, it always made her feel good when Mrs Arense, or anybody was proud of her.

"I was also diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. It has helped me to understand who I am and accept myself even more. I now understand why I struggle to look people in the eyes, and I understand why my social skills are so bad. My psychologist is helping me though, she is teaching me social skills."

"I am very pleased that you accept, Emma. That is very important."

Emma and Bailey had discussed their coming out to great lengths. They were close again, and it made Emma so happy.

Bailey was happy too. She said that her own depression was gone as well. She felt especially glad that they were friends again. Bailey said that it felt like their relationship had strengthened since their little episode, and Emma agreed.

Kat and her were also a lot closer since she had come out. Her relationship with her sister was different and she felt as if she could trust her more.

Perhaps it was that Kat had grown, matured more, and was no longer a little tattle tale who could not keep her mouth shut. Emma could discuss things at length with Kat without fearing that her sister would run off to Mom. It could also be that Emma understood her sister better now, and realised that she was only a person who was hurting.

Kat was also far less spiteful, Emma assumed that it was because she had matured and felt understood. She no longer felt that she was the only one who had to look after Mom and the family, Kat was there for her too. They could do it together.

They could cry on each others shoulders, and Emma felt that she was needing Mrs Arense less and less as the days went by.

She only saw Mrs Arense every second week now, and she had less that she needed to tell her. She still told her every single important thing that happened to her, but she could solve most problems by herself now.

"I am always here if you need me though."

Mrs Arense had said to Emma, when Emma had told her that she only needed to see her every second week and was going to spend more time with Bailey instead.

Everything seemed to be going so well, for both her and Bailey. Emma had realised, that although there were plenty of rough patches in life, there was always a silver lining, even if it to a long time to show.

On her new pills, Emma was able to see that life was not only filled with with negatives, but there were plenty of positives in between. She had made a great friend, and a bond had been formed between them that she doubted would ever be broken. Even if their friendship had to go through many bumps, it would always remain intact.

Emma was certain that she had finally found her supporter, friend and perhaps in the far future, her soul mate...