I ended up kind of regretting inviting them when I realized what the 'something important' was.
"You absolute son of a bitch," Tony icily.
"Stark," Coulson said serenely, trying to calm him down.
"No, don't start with that. You couldn't send a text, an email, a signal flare," Tony said, getting in Coulson's face. "I mourned you, Coulson, I actually felt bad!"
"And I appreciate that," Coulson said back. "But we weren't exactly friends, Tony. We were allies, occasionally, when you weren't locking me out of the tower to avoid my visits, or pranking me like we were in high school!"
"That's how I treat my friends!" Tony said, looking offended. "Rhodey never complained!"
"He complained all the time!" Coulson shouted back.
"What, you spied on him too?" Tony scoffed.
"New flash, Tony. I am a spy!"
As the two quibbled back and forth at each other inside the Bus' laboratory, I looked around.
The Bus was a pretty cool looking plane. The hanger door was down to let sunlight in, letting me see it in all its glory. A sweet red convertible was parked on the right side of the door, all sleek lines and leather seats, a beauty from an older time. The left side of the door held a big black SUV. Some stairs lead up to another floor, while a set of glass panels separated the cargo hold from the forensics and research lab we stood in.
Skye, Fitz-Simmons, Melinda May, Clint, and Natasha all watched the fireworks alongside me. I learned in towards Natasha.
"How long is this going to go on?" I whispered.
"I'm just wondering why we're here," she whispered back. "He said this was important."
"Well, you know Tony," Clint said. "He likes an audience."
"Drama queen?" Melinda asked.
Clint and Natasha nodded.
"This is why you should never meet your heroes," Fitz said sadly, getting a pat on the back from a sympathetic Simmons.
"Been working for me so far," I said. Clint and Natasha grinned at me, to which I could only helplessly shrug. Once a-
"Fanboy!" Tony said, somehow perfectly cutting my thought off and completing it at the same time. "Come to meet Agent."
Apparently, Tony's nickname for Coulson was 'Agent'. With a bit of confusion at how casual Tony was suddenly acting, I stepped forward, the others coming along.
"Agent, this is-"
"Dial," Coulson said, extending a hand to shake. Tony interrupted our handshake when I went to shake Coulson's.
"Don't interrupt me. This is Fanboy. He makes cool things and turns into giant things, but his wardrobe needs work."
Natasha, my costume designer, raised an offended eyebrow.
"Okay, who've you got?" Tony asked.
Coulson, clearly used to Tony, waved at his own team. "Melinda May, the pilot of the Bus and one of the finest martial artists I've ever met."
"Charmed," Tony said.
"I'm not," Melinda returned coolly.
Tony smirked at that. Coulson continued.
"This is Skye, a skilled hacker and someone who is training to be a SHIELD agent."
"Kinda useless now," Skye admitted, looking at Tony with a bit of awe. "I just got the badge too."
"Keep it," Natasha said. "Souvenir. Plus, history buffs love stuff like that."
"You still selling old Russian military gear?" Clint asked. Natasha smirked, and Melinda surprised me, as well as her crew, by chuckling a little.
Melinda smirked at them. "You had to be there," was all she said.
"Okay, hearing that story later," Tony said, ignoring the looks the super-spies gave him. "How about the married couple?"
"What?" Fitz said, startled. "Oh, we're not-"
"We're not a couple," Simmons said quickly.
"Yes, just friends."
"Close for years!"
"But not a couple."
Tony looked between them, then at Coulson. "And Ross and Rachel do what on your crew?"
I blinked. Wait, Tony knew who they were. Why was he pretending otherwise?
Coulson sighed before gesturing. "This is Leopold Fitz. Fitz is my engineer, a weapons and tech expert. And this is Jemma Simmons, my biochemist, specializing in life sciences."
"Hello," Fitz said, waving a bit weakly.
Tony eyed them both for a moment. "Jarvis, bring it up."
A hologram appeared in the back, hovering over a table. Fitz-Simmons pointed at it. "How did you-"
"I'm Tony Stark," Tony said in answer, walking over to the table.
"I don't like you messing with my plane," Coulson said in annoyance.
"And I don't like wasting money on flowers, but I did it for your funeral," Tony shot back.
"How do you keep from hitting him?" Melinda asked Natasha and Clint.
"Practice mostly," Natasha said with a smirk.
"I don't resist the urge at all honestly, keeps him honest," Clint stated proudly, leaning out of the way when Tony threw a pen at him.
"So, you guys made this?" Tony asked, pointing at the hologram, which was a floating blue image of a gun shaped like a sniper rifle.
"Huh, I see you restored the data," Fitz told Skye.
"Coulson told me to do it," Skye complained. Fitz sighed.
"Yes, I made that."
"It's brilliant," Tony said.
Fitz blinked, surprised. "You think the Night-Night guns are brilliant?"
"Hell yes I do, Ross," Tony said. "Cool name for it by the way."
"Oh," Fitz responded. "Well, they're calling it ICER now."
"...No," Tony said dismissively. "Night-Night gun," he turned to look at the hologram. "A gun that fires a dendrotoxin bullet, knocking people out like that quickly and with no side-effects? You both made it, right?"
"Yes," Simmons said quickly. "Yes we did, you see, the way we designed it was-"
And suddenly she was no longer speaking with words I could understand. Fitz immediately joined in and Tony responded. Fitz-Simmons moved around the table and showed him a section of the hologram, the two so in sync it was amazing. Just as amazing was how Tony seemed to vibe with them, falling in step with their thinking and responding to it.
"Well," Coulson said. "I suppose they're going to be at it for a while," he looked over at us. "I suppose, I can show you the plane now."
"Not yet," Tony said suddenly. He walked up to look Coulson in the eyes. "I still have more to say to you."
Coulson and Tony looked at each other a moment longer. After a bit, Coulson nodded and walked towards a back room, Tony following.
"Um," Simmons said nervously. "Should we go with them?"
The door slammed behind Tony.
"Apparently not," Fitz said.
Melinda looked at Clint and Natasha. They both shook their heads, and Melinda nodded. Apparently, spies had their own body language.
"Well, I suppose we have some time," Simmons said.
"Yes," Fitz looked over at me. "Can we scan your Omnitrix? Maybe open it up and study it?"
"Please?" Simmons asked cutely. "I promise, we won't break it!"
"...How invasive are the scans going to be? And do I need to take it off?" I hesitated. "Also, what are the chances you'll activate something that will blow us all up?"
Simmons and Fitz chuckled dismissively. "Oh no, we're very good at studying alien technology, I think we'll be fine."
I thought about that. After all, the Omnitrix had a universal self-destruct in it. One I was very scared to activate since I was one of the assholes who lived in the universe.
"How about instead I tell you how it works?" They did not seem satisfied at all with that. Before they could say anything, I spoke again. "Also, just scans. No touching buttons or taking it apart. No putting lasers on it."
"I rather feel you're being insulting," Fitz said with a scowl.
"Remember how smart I said Azmuth was? This thing makes most other alien tech, maybe all of it, obsolete. I know it's insulting, but it is the truth. You're very smart cavemen studying a supercomputer," I admitted. "One owned by a very dumb caveman. We're all dealing with a piece of tech so advanced I can only turn into ten out of the over one million aliens on it. Let's not tempt fate."
Everyone looked at the watch. Fitz finally sighed. "Okay, well, scans only. And you'll tell us about it?"
Nodding, I began to speak.
Tony Stark/Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist
Tony stood with Coulson in the tight space of the room and glared at Coulson. In all his life, he'd rarely been this... angry. The closest was when Obadiah Stane revealed that he had been selling weapons to terrorists, which rested firmly under finding out his parents had been murdered.
"Tony, why are you-"
"You were my friend," Tony said suddenly. "I mean... I know I'm not friendly. But Pepper cried when she found out you died. Her and your girlfriend, they still talk about you," Tony shook his head. "Does she know you're alive?"
Coulson stilled. "...No. No, she doesn't."
"You absolute prick."
"Tony, I actually did die! I wasn't faking, my heart stopped, my brain function was gone, hell, we're still trying to understand how I was brought back-"
"Yeah, I know, Dial brought up the files for me," the billionaire said, Coulson stopping in surprise. "I don't care. You came back to life, you had months to talk to one of us, you asshole."
They stared at each other. Finally, Coulson sighed and leaned against the wall behind him. "You're right. I should have let people know. Not the whole world, but... people," he admitted. "I'm sorry, Tony."
Tony shook his head. "Not good enough."
"What?" Coulson said, finally annoyed.
"I want those three outside to work with me."
Coulson blinked in surprise. "You want what?"
"Skye, Ross, and Rachel. I don't care if they work for... whatever this new club Fury and Steve are building is at the same time. But I've read the team files. The stuff they've done, hacking into SHIELD with a laptop, creating a counter-serum to the Centipede formula, curing a Chitauri virus? They can do a lot more under me then they can with SHIELD. I want to work with them. That's what I want in return."
"Tony, you realize that Skye and Fitz-Simmons make their own choices," Coulson said.
"Then let me ask them," Tony said. "Take them to my labs, show them what I can do for them."
"Wait, was all this anger because you wanted to borrow my experts?" Coulson asked.
Tony shrugged. "Not at first. I'm still pissed at you. But I'm planning something. Something big. I've got Dial on board. And Bruce. But I've seen what your team can do, and I think they can do even more."
"Should I be worried?" Coulson asked.
"Not really," Tony crossed his arms. "But you owe me more than an 'I'm sorry'."
"They aren't commodities for me to trade, Stark."
"I'm not saying they are, Coulson. I'm just saying I think they can do some real good with me. But I know they're your team, so I'm asking permission." Tony smirked. "But like I said, you do at least owe me."
"...Like I said, they don't need my permission," Coulson said. "Hell, I'm not even sure I'll have a job once Fury's done. But let them know that whatever their choice, they still have a place on whatever team I end up on. Whether they work for you at the same time or not."
Tony nodded. "Now, let's talk about the other stuff you owe me."
Coulson rolled his eyes.