The Beene's Elephantfish 101

As you might know, Liv wasn't always this kind of bitch. Once, she was a university student. She studied her shit, and dreamed of big strong men with deep pockets, just as any other black girl would. And every now and then, she was assigned to a professor so macabre, he'd distract her from the best of her dreams.

Meet Professor Beene. He teaches biology...and then some. Or rather, he did. It's been a while since Liv checked in...

One day, in class, there was a tank of water. Inside, a strange fish swam around. It had the nose of an elephant. Professor Beene claimed to have named an entire species after himself.

"It's native to the EAF," he tells his class. "A few men before me experimented on them. None got the results that I have. But then, of course," he giggles, "some of my predecessors made the embarrassing mistake of letting some silly epiphany, that marriage and family are more important than progress, end their careers prematurely."

Near Liv's desk, a girl yawns. Liv knows her...better than she wants to. She's the teacher's pet in her philosophy class. Liv's destined to have one of those in a few months. She is NOT anticipating it...

"Allow me to go off-track, for a moment," Professor Beene begins. "I've studied this species in the wild, as well as in captivity. And this species has something in common with humanity, as we know it today. The straight specimens of their species seem to think lowly of the gay ones."

All around, the class laughs. One of the students in the back row leaves.

"The male specimens, who are straight, grow to be big and strong. The females flock to him, in the mating season."

At this, Liv grins at the thought.

"They all love the straight males, in this species. They promote them to alphas of the schools. And this species does school. But don't worry; you can't expect this specimen to commit suicide anytime soon. He's got a hidden trick up his sleeve...which we'll get to later."

Inside Liv's head, a scary voice scoffs. HE SAYS THAT, a gruff voice says, in her head, AS IF HE THINKS WE'VE GOT one TRICK UP OUR SLEEVES...

Around Liv, a lot of other students turn around, back and forth in their chairs...as if they've just had the same voice in their heads...

"They hunt in packs," Professor Beene continues. "The gay specimens are usually kept in reserve. Now, some of the male cliques have LBFs; but within this species, this is a new thing. Plus, it doesn't always work out. Sometimes the cliques rape their LBFs, further undermining the school's gay/straight alliance. In some cases, they've been known to cannibalize their LBFs after raping them...but this is rare. Either way, the gay males never ASK to be kept in reserve. But it's only fair, considering that some cichlids in the lakes of the EAF are more dangerous than humans can realize."

One of the male students scoffs. "Probably because humans don't know what it's like to be an elephantfish."

The class laughs. Inside the tank, the fish doesn't seem amused...

Liv smiles. And she thought that men had no empathy...

"I never knew most of my precursors," Professor Beene laments. "But they did leave behind research. I've never seen this for myself, but a few of them have seen a strange phenomenon that occurs, among the species. It defies not only the laws of dominance in biology, but also the laws of gay cliques, in general."

For this, most of the class leans forward. Liv listens, but prefers to laugh at her male counterparts' misadventures...as their sister in philandry, if not their straight critic.

"It turns out the gay male specimens of this species are VERY sensitive," the professor begins. "A lot of straight women might understand that, being their sisters in philandry, and all...but even for gay male specimens, what often follows, when they're scapegoated, is one of the most inhumane things observed in nature. I'm pretty sure that if Darwin himself ever observed it, it would make him a stronger atheist than he already was..."

Liv's disturbed. It seems strange, that the professor is using the phrase "sisters in philandry" so soon after she's just thought it to herself...

She looks at the elephantfish, in the tank. The fish seems to be looking at her...with malevolent eyes, for some reason...