The Three Gay Men in the High Pink Castle

This is Lincoln City. More grey clouds seem to hover over it, these days...

Down Kentucky Avenue, the Grey House sits. It's about to undergo a VERY revolutionary transformation...or, so it seems...

Over one minute abomination at a time (gay men say), an illusory pink wave passes over the city, apparently transforming it. All of its gay male residents are reinvented as fierce-looking warriors. All of its straight male and lesbian residents are reinvented as white-robed scapegoats, with targets painted on their backs...literally.

Submachine guns appear in the new warriors' hands. They smile, sight a white-robed target, aim, and let her loose...with a pair of submachine guns. Their targets are shattered to pieces...apparently.

The pink wave passes over, and around, the Lincoln Memorial. Lincoln's statue is re-sculpted, to where he's wearing a gay scarf.

One of the local churches is transformed, by the pink wave, into a statue of Jonathan, son of King Saul of Israel. He, too, is sculpted with a gay scarf...despite the fact that the ancient Jews probably never needed scarfs, as hot as the Levant was even then.

Beneath Jonathan's feet, there's an engraving. It reads, THE ROYAL KOSHER CHICKENHAWK, WHO SHOULD'VE BEEN KING OF ISRAEL...

Over the pinkening sky, a huge African fish eagle-shaped fire passes. It's the African Fish Eagle Force (the Fish Eagle Force, for short), a new and mighty defender of the New Lincoln City.

Throughout the streets, a flock of vulturine guineafowl assemble an army. They're all cocks; gay cocks. They're here to worship the Fish Eagle Force. They're also here to do their civic duty to the all-new gay-male-ruled Lincoln City, the reborn capital of the NAU.

In swarms, they peck the legs of the Whiterobes. The Whiterobes try to shake them away...but in vain. The guineafowl cocks only peck harder. Some let loose with a deafening scream.

Some of the Whiterobes fall over. They guineafowl cocks dogpile atop them, and go to work pecking them, as if they thought they were all woodpeckers...or fleshpeckers, rather...

Over yonder, on Kentucky Avenue, the Grey House becomes the High Pink Castle. A pink wave of illusory matter passes over it. It grows many stories, and stands tall...atop a very tall mountain, that wasn't there before. The stonework of the castle is hot pink...as it is that of the great stone wall, that surrounds the High Pink Castle.

On the new NAU flag, there are pink stars, for each "red state" in the NAU. Many fly, from the High Pink Castle.

From the top story of its front, a pink banner rolls down, unfurling itself. The banner is styled like a scarf...when it's rolled out...or down, in this case. It bears a pink Nazi swastika, as well as a Nazi fish eagle, posing over it. (The German Nazis just used a black eagle; but they're gay men, and they're elephantfish. It makes sense, that they prefer sex fantasies where they're fished for by fish eagles...in much the same way that young gay men dream of being hunted by older chickenhawks…)

Inside the fort, the elephants go through transformations, too. They all become heavily-armed and -armored versions of illusion-casting characters from Marvel and DC Comics.

There's Ares, from DC Comics. Aside from his usual spear, shield, and helmet, he commands two painted wolves. And these are painted. In fact, they're dyed hot pink and lavender. (Diemos is the one dyed hot pink.)

Wes Beene, a mutant clad in X-Force attire, marches a patrol. Cable, with his creepy prosthetics and psionic powers, joins him on his patrol. Kid Omega joins this patrol, as do Danielle Moonstar and Emma de Lauro.

Baron Mordo stands atop a battlement, wearing his vaulting boots, and armed with his extendable bo staff in hand. His robe flies behind him, like a flag in the wind.

Vuk, a D'Bari alien disguised as a seductive blonde, wears a long white robe, and hovers over the castle, prepared for anything. She seems to have an attracted eye for the passing Fish Eagle Force, overhead...

Enchantress, from DC Comics, possesses June Moone. She ascends above the wall, and sets up a patrol.

Silver Surfer descends, from the sky, and flies in circles around the fort. He's now one of the gunships of the Castle Guard.

Every now and then, members/tentacles of a red/silver alien symbiote appear, all over Silver Surfer's silver flesh. This is Carnage, who will be arming Carnage Cosmic, as he flies patrols for the Castle Guard.

With one of his prosthetics, Cable opens a portal, from the future. Hobgoblin 2099 cackles, and flies out, atop a high-tech glider. He's armored, and armed with all of the Hobgoblin essentials, including the Hobgoblin performance enhancers: mainly Jack O'lantern bombs, deployed from both his glider, and wrist-mounted grenade launchers.

Inside the castle, Shadow King sits on the throne in lingerie, disguised as Lenny Busker. Busker bears alarming resemblance to Aubrey Plaza. All around her, the main castle court's interior décor is dominated by pinks. In bare feet, Busker helps herself to some pink Chablis.

On the end table at the left hand of the throne, a heart-shaped box of chocolates sits. Busker's already eaten more than half of them. The chocolates' filling is pink, and infused with a supernatural dope.

Near the right hand of the throne, on an end table, fashioned with a tasseled pink cushion, a fez sits. Shadow King will wear this, if he ever has to revert back to Amahl Farouk...

Kurse, a svartálfr warrior from the realm of Svartalfheim, has changed the least from his elephant counterpart. His combat helmet bears tusks; two on either side of the mouth, and three pairs, out from the back of the head. His armor is spiked. He carries a spiked mace, and his harness is fully equipped with black hole-generating grenades. The Kurse Stone, in his armor's chest reactor, glows with pink light.

Scarecrow, with a burlap bag over his head, has finished placing many cylinders of illusion-inducing gas all around the castle grounds. Armed with a pair of sickle swords, he assumes a patrol. From the skies, an air force of crows, grackles, and starlings joins him.

Clad in a fashionable robe, Mastermind stands watch, at the front door of the castle. His two daughters, Mastermind II and Lady Mastermind, stand on the lower steps, standing the same watch.

Scarlet Witch, Mastermind's fellow Brotherhood of Mutants sister and co-founder, stands watch with the three Masterminds. Throughout this defensive, they will be the Hen Coop of Evil Mutants...albeit Mastermind I's a cock.

Does that make Mastermind I the head rooster?

Also with the Hen Coop, Psylocke, Pixie, and Rachel Summers stand the same watch, at the castle front door. Thankfully, the front steps have enough steps for each of them to stand on...

A portal opens, from another dimension, and lets Reverb out. He's armed with goggles and gauntlets, and teleports a patrol around the castle, via more portals.

Among the glass windows, glass décor, and the surface of the mote of the castle, Mirror Master moves here, and there. He surfaces from the mote's surface, breaching, and landing on a draw bridge. He takes a defensive posture, and waits for his moment...

Raven skulks about the castle ground, generating creepy black clouds, as she goes along. She's clad in a black robe. Her eyes are narrow, and pure black. Some of her black fumes shapeshift into wraiths. A gem, wedged inside her forehead, generates pink light...

In a hoverchair, MODOK hovers here and there, looking for a trespasser to kill. He's hideous, and quite infantile...but like everyone else on the Castle Guard, he can cast illusions.

And, there's Mysterio. He's clad in a green suit, a purple cape, and a glass goldfish bowl on his head. There's glowing white gas inside the goldfish bowl, concealing his identity. He flies a patrol here and there, like a glass-headed Superman in a purple cape...

Together, Enchantress, Scarecrow, Raven, Reverb, Ares, and Mirror Master assemble, and become the Castle Guard's Legion of Philandry. Mysterio and Hobgoblin 2099 join, and become the Sinister Partnership. (They don't have enough manpower, after all, to be the Sinister Six.) Baron Mordo, Vuk, Shadow King, Kurse, Carnage Cosmic, and MODOK all assemble, and become the Chickenhawks of Evil.

Near the front gate, three men ascend the wall. They're the consciousnesses of the three elephantfish, impersonating men.

Ambruso takes his place atop the wall, and looks around, over Lincoln City. As a man, he bears the likeness of Matthew del Negro.

Novak takes his place, a bit farther from Ambruso, and stands tall, looking out over Lincoln City. He bears the likeness of Dan Bucatinsky.

Cyrus takes his rightful place between them, as the mastermind of this conspiracy, and the President's head chief of staff, between his two male lovers. For the time being, he bears the likeness of John Boehner.

Ambruso and Novak keep stealing sneaky critical looks at their alpha gay man. Something just isn't right about his appearance.

"No offense, Cyrus," Novak mutters, out of the corner of his mouth, "but don't you think posing as John Boehner is overdoing this?"

Cyrus rolls his eyes, and sighs. "Fine." He blinks, and assumes Jeff Perry's likeness, instead.

All over the city, armies of gay men assemble. Pink flags, with Nazi swastikas, rise all over Lincoln City. The sky is very pink now. But of course, three elephantfish are imagining this...

Ambruso looks behind him, smiling. "We've got the X-Force, the Sinister Six, the Legion of Doom, the Sisterhood of Evil Mutants, and the Masters of Evil defending the High Pink Castle. Who could ask for more?"

Cyrus scoffs. "NEVER ask that, in war..."

"Grant II may be a right-wing man," Novak says, smiling, "but he's no right-winger; in rugby, or otherwise. If he thinks he's ever getting his precious Grey House back, or his lousy administration, then he really DOES have jungle fever, because he sure as hell doesn't have common sense...or enough confidence to make a Roosevelt proud." Silence follows. "Teddy; not Franklin."

"Grant II may be enough of a wimp to make Taft look like Shadow King-Farouk, not Busker," Cyrus sneers, "but don't think that just because he's weak means we're going to let down our guard around this city. In fact," he looks around, "I think it's about time we prepared the main harnessing for our race's most-hated tradition."

Both Novak and Ambruso turn their heads, and gape. Ambruso scratches del Negro's head.

"You can't be serious," Novak protests. "They used to do that to OUR kind! We can't just..."

"Revenge is a dish best served cold," Cyrus insists. "And frankly, it's been a dream of mine to avenge our kind, our sexuality, by serving a straight male president with ice-cold sushi...in the shape of Olivia Pope's cold, dead, tiny body." The fourth wall narrows in, on his sinister expression. "But of course, by the time we're done with this particular slice...it won't be so much a slice, as it will be the federation's most worthless coin."

"This," Ambruso fidgets, "sounds like more than what we've signed up for, boss. I know how tempting it is, to serve our race's worst medicine to straight men, but..."

"ENOUGH!" Above, a storm cloud gets hotter pink, via Cyrus's wrath. "If I say we're going to pancake Olivia Pope, then pancake her we will!"

The cloud rolls past. The other clouds' pink is less hot...albeit no less gay male-passionate.

"Now," Cyrus mutters, "I do believe we talked about building a certain contraption for this custom. Are our assets still on ice?"

"And in the ground," Ambruso says, beaming. "Just like the beer and the pig in Old Bocephus's famous song!"

Novak gives Ambruso a critical look. "No, no, the pig is in the ground, and the beer is on ice. They're not in the same place..."

"I didn't say that," Ambruso insists. "Do I look like an NFL critic to you?"

"No. Just like someone who the leader of the jock clique in high school wouldn't choose for his football team."

"OMG; is that the pot or the kettle I hear talking? And are we black, or pink?"

"Excuse me," Cyrus interrupts. "Liv? The contraption?"

Ambruso and Novak both smile, shakily. "It's already in progress...High Lord Chickenhawk."

"Fish Eagle," Cyrus corrects them. "I much prefer that...as fond as I am of the red-tailed hawk, the Cooper's hawk, and the sharp-shinned hawk... Which reminds me,"

A red-tailed hawk flies past them, through their pleasant gay male-supremacist illusion. Before their eyes, the hawk's tail turns hot pink.

"Are we really not going to leave anything red," Ambruso asks, "in this illusion?"

"The straight man made red famous," Novak sneers. "ALWAYS remember that... Recordare, as the Romans would say..."