The Fate of the Elephantfish

Lincoln City struggles to rebuild itself. Thankfully, very few residents of this city have memories of who they were, or what happened, while trapped in the three elephantfish's cast pro-gay Nazi illusion.

Soon, the carcasses of Novak and Cyrus are salvaged from the aftermath of the Battle of the Grey House. Their exteriors were pretty blackened, by the electrical explosion, and the hair dryers. But even in the dawn of death, the tissue of the Beene's elephantfish retains regenerative properties for up to three days. Hence, there should be plenty of edible tilapia-enhanced meat on their bones...

So, Fitz hosts a cookout. He grills Novak and Cyrus, seasons them, and squeezes lemon all over them.

On the pack patio of the Grey House, Zane Williams and his band perform. Williams performs one of his best songs, "Back Porch Band."

At a long table, many officials sit. Some of them were forced to rape each other, in this very house, by the elephantfish. Others were tortured, in this very house, for the elephantfish's pleasure.

Fitz dances to the music, while serving the officials their wine and fish. The Vice President tries it...and seems to like it. The Chief Justice and State Secretary seem to like theirs, too...

Loving the music, and celebrating his victory over his three mutinous chiefs of staff, Fitz dances around the back garden. He willingly rolls a wheelbarrow full of cantaloupe up to the fence.

Here, many elephant trucks extend themselves over the wood. Fitz keeps dancing, while bowling a cantaloupe into each of their trunks' coils.

He leaves a box of scarab beetles on the back patio, and opens it. As the beetles swarm out, every elephant shrew in the Grey House attacks them, in swarms, and guzzles those beetles as if they were game on a hunt.

The House minority leader watches Fitz dance, and giggles. Even so, she seems to be enjoying her lemon-seasoned fish...whatever this is...

Fitz dances up to them, and dances in place behind the Vice President's chair. Still dancing, he makes an announcement.

"Those are my chiefs of staff you're eating, BTW." With that, he dances away.

At the table, the officials stop eating, and cast strange looks between each other. Some of them still have food in their mouths, that they've stopped chewing...

"They're the ones who tortured you," Fitz adds, right before going back to dancing.

The officials shrug, and keep eating...

Such a shame Ambruso can't be here to see this. Even so, Ambruso is definitely in better hands than before. In fact, Fitz is paying very well, to make sure he stays there...as much as he deserves to be rewarded for surrendering.

Elsewhere in Lincoln City, the HQ of the Heffalump National Committee stands. Business here is usually slow...but at least its chairwoman can now take pleasure in a brand new acquisition.

In her office, she keeps an aquarium. Ambruso, the defeated mutineer, swims around in circles, inside. He snarfs down ever cichlid that's fed to him. They're few and far between. He's almost convinced that Ms. North has no tilapias.

"Don't be so depressed, Ambruso," Ms. North tells him, while working. "We'll find you a mate soon. Just not as soon as you'd prefer."

ANYTHING BUT BACK TO LAKE TANGANYIKA, Ambruso begs, telepathically.

"You might be swayed by the fact that President Grant II is currently hosting a fish fry at his house. Your two former co-mutineers are the main course, if I'm not mistaken."

Best he can, Ambruso uses one of his pectoral fins to tap his head and chest. LAKE GODS GRANT THEM PEACE...

"There tends to be a lot of rioting here, whenever this HQ is in session," she tells him. "As my own chief of staff, I'm going to need you to subdue those riots, best you can, until I can find you a partner."

Ambruso telepathically sighs. I'LL DO MY BEST.

"And don't kill them. If you kill so much as one person who comes in here, whether they be right-wing political, or one of our many enemies, I will gladly hand you back over to President Grant II for judgment. I'm sure that after this fish fry, he'd be more than happy to host another...starring you as the main course."

I UNDERSTAND. IF ANYONE BLEEDS IN THIS BUILDING, I PROMISE IT WON'T BE BECAUSE OF ME.

Ms. North smiles. "Ah, Ambruso, you're such a whore. But then," she flaps her hair, "that's what makes you so submissive, isn't it?"

I'M GAY, MADAME.

"Even so... I can't help but find your kind fascinating."

MY SPECIES...OR MY SEXUALITY?

She shrugs. "Pick one, and go with it." With that, she goes back to working. Ambruso telepathically sighs, and goes back to swimming in cyclones around the tank...