Brendanjoke

It was just like any other day, or so I thought at least. The birds were chirping up on trees, clouds were rolling by the bright blue sky and Elves were dumpster diving in the alleyway.

Okay, one of those three didn't sound right...

I had a boring life once. Recently though, it has become less boring... to put it one way.

Finding a random Elf in the dumpster? Heh, must be a Monday.

A normal person would have walked by. A normal person would have ignored it.

I must be a pretty weird guy, then.

Now I have this Elf swearing her allegiance to me. What's next, vampires?

Better not jinx it.

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My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Hayley the Witch ultimately decided against adding her new and improved product to the menu.

I think hearing my retching, and gagging, and downright just dying echoing all the way across from the restroom had something to do with her sudden change of heart.

She kindly offered me a milkshake as sorry, boasting that her self-taught methods would do me much good.

I politely declined, telling her that if I did accept her offer, then I really will be sorry.

Anyway, she stuck around for a bit longer, y'know typical owner mentality, you know when they're staring at you with eyes like a vulture just waiting to swoop down and reprimand you for the slightest mishap that isn't even really a mishap at all but just their general lack of how things work around here thinking it is but they think they know it all anyway and talk down to you like you don't know how to the damn job they literally hired you to do?

Girlfriend's Grievances