17

Reyes speeds down a highway in his Charger. He must lead Mordo and his Illuminati as far away from Dr. Palmer's home as he can...or, as they'll go.

Reyes smiles, and listens to Shakira's "Suerte" on the Charger radio. It's a nice day for a drive. Alas, he expects it to get cloudy at any moment. Fortunately, he has a plan for how to get through it.

His music is shut off by an incoming call. Reyes glances at the name on the display screen. There's no name. Just an arrowhead.

Reyes sighs, and takes the call. He tells the girl who's called him that he's sorry he missed their date. But a couple of people got attacked in the Big Apple, and now some people want him to protect them. And as much as he'd love to make up for this, he's got no idea how long this is going to take.

The girl's name is Kate Bishop. She's a SHIELD recruit.

She tells him not to feel bad. It was an act of desperation, after all, to try to see each other on such short notice when neither one of them has a lot of personal time to spend in New York. But then, that's probably why she wanted to see him here so much. Reyes grins, and admits the feeling's mutual.

Bishop talks about how tense it was, posing as her teacher while the latter was under house arrest for helping Captain America in Leipzig. They'd take turns posing as the other while the other went out and fought crime; him with a pair of katanas, and her with...

Reyes starts out as listening. But he sees something in the rearview mirror. It looks familiar. But it sure as hell doesn't look friendly.

He interrupts Bishop, and tells her that as much as he'd hate to cut this conversation short, something's come up, and he's got to go. With that, he hangs up, puts the cruise control on 200 clicks, switches the inter-reality teleporter to shuffle, and plays Havana Brown's "Warrior" on the radio.

Great balls of fire land beside, behind, and beside him. The Wizardkiller-and Mordo-have come back for round two. And it seems that Wizardkiller has a new rider-this one wears no robe, and has an unusually large green head. Reyes would be relieved...if he could rest assured that this rider couldn't control his mind any better than Purple Rider.

Mordo's getting ambitious. He leaps onto Wizardkiller's tail, leaps past Leader's mount, and perches atop Wizardkiller's head. He uses the staff to balance himself. All around, most cars pull over, once they realize what's coming through.

Mordo's got Ghost Rider within his clutches. He grins, reaches out his hands, and opens a portal to another reality. They're going over the Brooklyn Bridge. The portal opens smack dab in the middle of it.

Reyes tries to swerve to avoid the portal, but can't. He speeds through, and Wizardkiller follows him in-with Mordo and Leader still on his back.

They're in the sky of the Harry Potter universe. And Reyes's Charger is falling. It falls past a flying Ford Anglia. Reyes tries to see if anyone's at the wheel of it...but can't.

Aloft, Wizardkiller levels out. Mordo smiles, while perched atop Wizardkiller's head; with luck, he's won.

The Charger falls. Reyes can see the Scottish countryside below. And there's a railroad bridge. He's falling right towards it.

And it's not the only thing. The locomotive of the Hogwarts Express is charging up the tracks. And it's doing so pretty fast. Reyes is falling right towards the car in the train's middle.

There are children inside. This makes Reyes think about his disabled kid brother...

Fortunately, the inter-reality teleporter on his Charger shoots two plasmoids from its headlights. They fly into the steam cloud created by the locomotive, and open another portal. Reyes falls through it, and is saved. Behind him, the portal stays open.

Aloft, Leader sees the portal, and what goes through it. Mordo's still rejoicing. Mordo nearly falls off his mount when the dragon dives, and speeds through the portal before it closes. Mordo swears at Leader, demanding a little warning next time.

This is the Resident Evil universe. Reyes is speeding safely down a highway in Raccoon City. Alas, he's safe as long as he keeps the Charger's cruise control where it is. Around him, zombies are on the offensive-as are many horror movie monsters that might as well be endemic to the Resident Evil universe.

Reyes inadvertently gives Ada Wong and Claire Redfield a lot of help, running over droves of zombies with his car, as they plague the highway. He dreads, of course, a potential instance where the zombies scrum, and pile up to such an extent that not even his Charger at 200 clicks can mow over them.

As the zombies get hit, they spill blood all over the front of the Charger. Reyes sighs, and turns on the wipers. More keep coming. Reyes keeps the wipers on.

Nearby, Claire Redfield's fighting zombies in the buff. She stops when she hears the Charger roar through.

Just as nearby, but in the opposite direction, Ada Wong's fighting zombies while wearing a revealing red dress. She stops when she hears the Charger.

Reyes is ready. He climbs atop the Charger, with a metal chain in hand. Wizardkiller's gaining on him. In the skies over Raccoon City, he's in the company of many scary-looking airborne monsters, bastardized and lost control of by the Umbrella Corporation. All around, it's late facilities clutter the city's ruins. Reyes sure wishes one of them would notice Wizardkiller.

Wizardkiller narrows his eyes, and heats up his mouth while inhaling. Reyes becomes Ghost Rider, embues his chain, and begins swinging it around like a lasso.

From out of nowhere, the buff Redfield broadsides Reyes. She mounts him, and punches him. As much as Reyes enjoys being pounced on by a naked and gorgeous zombie slayer, this is hardly the best time. Nearby, a dragon's about to roast them both alive.

Alas, Reyes worries in vain. Ada Wong flies in from out of nowhere, broadsides Mordo, and knocks him off Wizardkiller's head. Behind Wizardkiller, Mordo lands on the highway. Zombies attack him from all around. Mordo takes up his staff, and bravely defends himself. With his boots, he hops away to relatively zombie-free zones when he can.

On the dragon's head, Wong takes up a pair of submachine guns, and empties their mags into Wizardkiller's cranium. But the Wizardkiller's armor is tough...and he's not a zombie.

It's a tough call for Reyes to make, but he throws Redfield off him. He'd sure hate for her to get infected by zombies because of him...but he also remembers that neither Wong nor Clea would be pleased with him if he let them die because of his sexual feelings for a beautiful zombie hunter in the buff.

Why wasn't Ali Larter ever in the buff in any of the movies? She would've looked more than great...

Ah, but then the spotlight would've been drawn away from Alice. And Milla Jovovich, at least, would NOT have been pleased with that...

With his mind, Leader levitates Wong's submachine guns-with Wong still holding them. He suspends her over his egg-shaped head, and stares up Wong's skirt. Wong thrashes, of course. Leader only smiles; he likes when they thrash AND when he can see up their skirts...

"Leader," Wong shouts, while fighting zombies, "the Ghost Rider! Don't let him get away!"

Leader remembers...and throws Wong back to the zombies. Mordo leaps ahead, and opens another portal for Reyes to drive through. And this time, Reyes does so by accident. He's not at the controls anymore.

Now they're on a highway in the Fast and Furious universe. They're surrounded by semi-trucks. The Charger appears to drive itself, as it weaves its way through the labyrinth of semis. Unclear as to where this is in the Fast and Furious universe, but it seems this is the bridge that connects the Florida peninsula to the Keys.

Atop a semi's container, Letty Ortiz and Cipher are having a cat fight. Cipher is outgunned. She can dodge Ortiz well enough, but can't do so indefinitely. Ortiz has got a hilarious advantage...

The Charger speeds by. Wizardkiller follows it. Reyes is the Ghost Rider, and is swinging his lit-up chain around like a lasso. Wizardkiller shoots humongous plasmoids from his mouth, missing the Charger, and the Ghost Rider, every time. The dragon has no legs. A green man with an egg-shaped head is riding the legless dragon, chasing the Charger down a highway infested with semis.

Hence, Ortiz and Cipher stop to observe the car chase as it passes. For a brief moment, Cipher is spared Ortiz's inevitable ax. They keep watching the chase, long after it passes the semi they're on. Around them, some of the semis fly off the highway, and into the Atlantic Ocean, when they see the huge dragon, mounted by a little green egghead, chasing the small Charger with a flaming skeleton swinging a fiery chain on its roof panel.

Up front, Reyes's headlights shoot inter-reality plasmoids again. These's portal takes him to the Ghost in the Shell universe. Wizardkiller makes it through the portal, of course. Leader is far from giving up...and so is Ghost Rider.

Inside the cab, Reyes's music switches itself to EXID's "Up and Down." It's not the same as the Ghost in the Shell theme music...but it's more upbeat, which is what the music for all car chase scenes should be, right?

They're on an elevated highway in Japan. They're surrounded by futuristic cars. At any moment, Reyes expects to be attacked by spider-tanks. So he must now make his move, and do it fast.

They pass a pair of cop cars. Reyes tenses up; he's afraid they're going to start chasing them. But they just sit there...and vanish from sight. Reyes chuckles, and wonders if this is really the Ghost in the Shell universe, or if he's still stuck in the Fast and Furious universe...

Reyes sighs, becomes the Ghost Rider, empowers the chain, and starts swinging it. Behind him, once again, the dragon heats up its breath...

Atop a tower that the highway's coming up on, Motoko Kusanagi stands tall, and balanced. She's in the buff-or rather, her shell's in the buff. Nonetheless, the Scarlett Johansson movie still merited an R rating. You'd expect truly superior superior religious groups to do a better job of overlooking things, and thinking outside the box, while watching these things...

Just like a fantasy, Kusanagi waits for the Charger to drive within range. Then, she falls forward...and turns as she falls...and ends up upside down while in freefall...and, she draws a pair of submachine guns...and she looks up (down to someone standing right side up) and sees where she needs to land. She spins into position, while still in midair, and lands behind Reyes.

She draws her submachine guns, and tells Reyes to drop the chain and put them up. Ghost Rider smiles, de-powers the chain, mistakes Kusanagi for Black Widow, and reminds her that she's supposed to be in upstate New York helping the Avengers beat Thanos. He also reminds her that she's a blonde, and that she usually wears a black suit while working. Not that he's complaining about this new look of hers; he might actually prefer it over the black suit with nano-stunners...

She orders him to stop the Charger. Too late; up front, the Charger's lights shoot two more plasmoids, and open another portal overhead.

Reyes has no choice. He becomes the Ghost Rider. Kusanagi opens fire. Ghost Rider makes the bullets intangible, and they fly right through him without hurting him. He waves his hand, and sends Kusanagi flying over the highway rail. At last, the Charger charges through the portal.

Now they're in the Arrowverse-Earth-1, to be more specific. This is a highway in Central City. Wizardkiller has made it through the portal-again. The chase continues.

On one side of the Charger, the Flash runs. On the other side, XS runs. They've come to investigate, of course. Leader, Wizardkiller, and Ghost Rider all seem to scare them.

Leader uses his mind control, and commands both speedsters to turn around and run away. They do.

Killer Frost shows up, generating and riding on a water slide of ice. She rides it beside the dragon, and tries to freeze his head. Wizardkiller only breathes on it, melting it as fast as it's generated. Killer Frost tires.

Leader uses his mind powers to command Killer Frost to transform back into Caitlin Snow. With that, her hair turns brown, her eyes darken, and she falls off her ice, and into the street. Jesse Quick saves her right before a car runs over her. Alas, Reyes and Leader are both back to square one.

A breach opens, and Elongated Man is deposited next to the highway. He stretches himself between two lampposts, and creates a motorcycle trap.

Ghost Rider senses it, and makes himself intangible. Elongated Man's torso passes right through him without tripping him. Wizardkiller, alas, isn't so lucky. His mouth gets stuck on Elongated Man's torso.

Elongated Man strains as Wizardkiller helplessly reaches the end of Elongated Man's slack. He and Leader are catapaulted backwards, and fly over the tallest buildings of the city.

With the threat incapacitated, Ghost Rider reverts back to Robbie Reyes. Now all Reyes has got to worry about now is getting back to Earth-199999, where Wong and Clea are-and not to mention is disabled kid brother.

Alas, a portal opens, and Mordo falls through it. He bounces off the highway, and creates yet another portal to inconvenience Ghost Rider. Reyes's Charger helplessly drives through it. Mordo hops through it, and chases the Charger.

This time, Reyes speeds across an open desert. Mordo hops after him, armed with his staff. Reyes sighs, and takes up his chain-again. This shouldn't be so hard, if it's just Mordo...

Alas, Mordo opens another portal in the sky. Leader and Wizardkiller fall through it, and resume the chase. This time it's on open ground. And this time there are no video game or comic book characters to inconvenience, or save, either of them.

And so, the Charger starts weaving back and forth while speeding across the desert plain. Wizardkiller shoots fire from his mouth. He misses every time-but he might get lucky. Reyes could try absorbing the fire, but that'd be a risk, and Ghost Rider might quit on him if the fire overpowers him...

The radio in the Charger seems to recognize where it is. It switches to Inna's "No Help," and plays the song during this part of the chase.

Mordo leaps, and lands back on Wizardkiller's tail. He hops past Leader's mount, and perches atop Wizardkiller's head. Now, at last, he's got the Ghost Rider in his sights. All he needs now is for Wizardkiller to make a lucky airstrike...