Chapter 11: Prayer to the Moon

Prayer to the Moon

Cold Face and I helped each other in burying Hong Rong's body. He carried him onto the plain part of the mountain. With our bare hands, we dug the soil to create a grave. Hours passed quickly and we laid him in there.

With every soil I'm putting on his body, my eyes shed tears endlessly. My heart is shattering in pieces. It grieves me to see him this way. I couldn't believe that the loud and playful friend of mine is lifelessly lying in front of me now. To add that I am the reason why he's dead and I'm the one who's burying him makes it more torturous.

I wailed while staring at his inert face. It is the only part left uncovered. I placed my trembling hands on his cold cheeks and caressed it. I closed my eyes and began putting soil to his face.

I began sobbing uncontrollably.

My heart is hurting so much.

This is the only thing that I can do.

Give him a burial.

I tapped the soil and made it proper as possible. Hong Rong's body is now fully covered by massive amounts of soil. I stood up and piled a layer of rocks on top of it. I also picked several flowers and showered it to his grave.

"Let's give him a bow." Cold Face uttered.

I nodded at him. Cold Face and I began bowing. After bowing for several times, both of us stood up and stared at Hong Rong for the last time.

All of our memories flashed into my mind. I remembered Hong Rong and I riding horse together, fishing in the river, him laughing at my silly jokes, him having fun while playing games with me, and him protecting me at all times. For almost a year, we accompanied each other through deserts and rivers, through forests and mountains.

Now that he's gone, a part of my heart are buried beneath that soil.

Hong Rong.

You were my companion, my friend, and my brother. Our times together will be forever remembered by me. I will cherish the the days I spent with you. We may have been separated by life and death yet you will forever stay in my heart like you never left.

"Rest in peace my dear friend. Let's see each other in our next life. When that time comes, let me be the one who saves you from distress. I will be forever grateful to you for saving my life. I will never forget you." I said between my sobs.

Goodbye Hong Rong.

Goodbye my dear friend.

After bidding a tearful farewell, Cold Face and I turned away and started walking.

The two of us remained silent. Only the whir of the the leaves caused by the harsh blow of the wind echoed in our surroundings. Our painful loss put us in a somber mood.

"Ah!"

Cold Face's groan made me turn back. My eyes widen in fright when I saw him kneeling on the ground. I immediately run to aid him.

"Hey! Are you alright?! What happened to you?!" I said in panic.

"Nothing. Don't mind me."

His face is dripping with sweats. He also looked in pain. I glanced at his body and saw that it's also drenching in sweat. Then I saw his hands holding the side of his stomach. I was horrified when I saw blood in it.

"You're bleeding!" I cried.

"No. It's just a small wound. Nothing to worry about. Don't mind me."

He stood up and began walking but he cried in pain again. He kneeled on the ground for the second time.

"What do you mean by small wound?! You're seriously in pain! Why didn't you tell me that you're also wounded?! You even carried Hong Rong and helped me bury him! Hours had passed and I'm sure you've bled a lot! Come on! I'll aid you! I'll assit you! Let's go to the doctor!"

I took his arms and placed it on my shoulders. I started walking but he removed his hands from me.

"I said don't mind me! You don't have to help me. I can walk by myself."

His words pierced into my ear.

"Can you please lower your ego just this once?! You are wounded and you need help! Please stop being stubborn! Let me help you! I don't want to watch someone die in front of me again! I can't take it anymore!" I bawled.

Cold Face watched me bawl in front of him. He's frustrating and bullheaded! Can his ego cure him?! Can his ego save him from dying?!

"Hong Rong is gone! Only the two of us are left! If you want to kill yourself then I don't want you to! I don't want you to die!"

With my eyes full of tears, I stared directly in his eyes.

"Don't be stubborn please. Allow me to help you. I didn't have the chance to save Hong Rong. Please allow me to do something this time. Please. I beg you."

Cold Face looked at me with hesitance. He looked at the opposite side and gulped. He's like having a hard time deciding.

"Fine. But if it's too much to bear and making it hard for you, you must stop."

I ignored his last remarks and aided him. I put his arms on my shoulder and we started walking again.

I can feel how much he tried to lighten his weight for me even if he's in pain. He is still considerate of me.

The road is steep making it harder for us to go down. His body is becoming heavier. I can feel my shoulder shaking from keeping it stable and strong.

"Your body is shaking. You are doubtlessly having it hard. You can stop now Roseanne. Leave m-"

"Stop talking and save your strength! Don't mind me! This is the only thing I can do for you. This is the first time that I will be useful in my life. I will never leave you! I will get you to the physician!"

Cold Face didn't utter a word again. With him limping off and my wearying body, we continue walking down the steep slope.

His breathing became more ragged. My legs and knees began to tremble too. I am so fucking weak! If I only knew that this would happen, I will not attend that useless ballet class and do weightlifting instead.

All of a sudden, Cold Face stepped on the inclined rock. Due to the unstable position of the rock and his heavy stride, the rock slipped off. Cold Face slide down making me stumble on the ground too.

The two of us began rolling down the slope. I tried to hold on the the branch or anything but its ineffective. I looked at Cold Face and extended my left hand to him. Before he could fall down the cliff, I successfully grabbed his hands.

"Cold Face!" I yelled at him.

"Roseanne!" he yelled back.

I made my grip to his hand tighter. I also gripped hard to the root of the tree with my right hand. My whole body felt like a rope being tugged from the opposite sides.

"Hold tight! I will pull you up!"

I started pulling my left hand but he's fucking heavy. Although my shoulder felt like it will disconnect from my body, I proceed pulling him using all my strength.

"It's futile Roseanne! Stop now! I am so heavy! You can't pull me up. I am only dragging you down!" he yelled at me.

"Shut up! I will never stop! You saved me many times! And now it's my time to save you! I will save you!"

I resume pulling him up. I screamed in frustration when I didn't even pulled him up for a bit. Instead my grip in the root loosened a bit making both of us moved lower.

"Roseanne stop already! Leave me and save yourself! You are only hurting yourself and I am only dragging you down!"

"No! Shut up Cold Face! I will never abandon you! I don't care if my shoulder get torn! I won't let you die! I can't take it!"

I began pulling him again. My shoulder felt like it's going to break but I continue pulling him. I can feel both of my hands sweating in exhaustion. Unexpected, my hold to the root loosened and I fell down. Fortunately, I grabbed a vine and I stopped rolling down.

"I got you! I will save you!" I said with tears dripping down my face.

Fuck! Why am I crying now?! Why do I always keep crying all the time? In this fucking situation?! Fuck you Roseanne! You're such a fucking crybaby!

Maybe because no matter how I tried to pull Cold Face, I can't pull him up! Because I know that I really can't do it. I really can't save him! I am only convincing myself that I can! I just can't let go of my shrinking hope!

Now I'm crying because I know that deathbed is awaiting for us.

"It's alright Roseanne. We both know that we can't do anything now. You did your best. Let me go. Save yourself."

I was alarmed when I felt him releasing his hands from me. In spite of our sweaty hands, I gripped his hands tighter.

"No! What are you doing?! No!"

"Let me go. Don't die with me. Live your life."

"No!"

Cold Face removed his hands from mine. I screamed his name and tried to grab his hands but I failed and only the our fingers touched. I watched how Cold Face fell.

"Cold Face!" I cried.

Haywire, I removed my grip to the vine and let my body fall into the abyss. I was welcomed by strong wind while free falling. It feels like everything else fade to nothing.



So this is how it feels to fly.

My ears rang when I heard splash of water. From the sound of it, a big massive thing fell to it.

Cold Face.

My hope flickered in the dark night.

Strong forceful impact impinged on me as I fall and sunk into the water. I felt like my soul widthrawn from my body. I felt like passing out.

I became numb.

My whole body remained motionless.

I lost the ability to react.

I...

I'm exhausted.

I'm tired of running.

I'm tired of fighting.

I'm tired of hoping.

I'm always in the brink of death.

They want me dead.

Then why don't I just die and end all of this.

I will no longer feel fatigue.

I will no longer feel pain.

I will no longer suffer.

All of a sudden, Hong Rong's face flashed before my eyes. I recalled him fighting all those assassins to protect me. I recalled him being getting killed because of me.

His last request was my safety.

But here I am throwing away the life he has taken care of until his death.

What the fuck am I doing?!

What the fuck am I thinking?!

Why did I even think of dying?!

I will not waste the life Hong Rong died protecting!

I will not allow his sacrificed be in vain!

I deadened the pain and began moving. I kicked my legs to move upward. I used my hands to propel myself. I swam for my life.

I gasped for air when I am finally above the water.

I did it Hong Rong!

I saved my own life!

Cold Face.

"Cold Face! Where are you?! Answer me!"

My shout echoed all around but I did not hear any response from him. I looked around to find him but he's nowhere to be found.

"Cold Face! Where are you?!"

I started swimming. I also dive underwater. I did it many times but I still couldn't find him.

No. If I had been able to give up before, now I will never do that again! I will continue looking for him and I will not stop until I find him!

Only the moonlight gives light to the whole environment. I dived under the water and reached for anything.

My heart hammered to my chest when I touched an arm. I pulled it up and swam above.

"Cold Face!"

I lifted his body and saw him unconscious. I swam towards the land.

When we reached the upper ground, I made him lie on his back. I went near him and found out that he's not breathing. So I immediately placed the heel of my hand on his chest. With my fingers interlocked, I pressed my hands down to his chest and gave him chest compressions.

"Come on Cold Face! Breathe!"

I continue pumping his chest. I also tilted his head and lifted his chin to open his airway. His mouth fall open slightly.

"Come on! Breathe! Don't die on me!" I wailed.

I pinched his nostrils and support his chin with my other hand. I inhaled deeply and put my mouth over his and blowed the air.

I gave him several rescue breaths before going back to chest compressions. My eyes blurred in tears again when I realized that he's still not breathing.

"No Cold Face no! Don't fucking leave me too!"

My pounding to his chest became harder. I endlessly gave him rescue breaths too. My whole body is shaking from fear of losing him.

He can't fucking die on me!

I can't fucking take it!

I was giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation when he suddenly coughed. I didn't mind the splash of water to my face and delightedly watched him coughed all the water out.

"Cold Face!" I screamed in happiness.

He breathed!

He's alive!

The lids of his eyes moved and they slowly opened. Our eyes met

"Roseanne." he said weakly.

"Cold Face! I was fucking scared! I thought you're going to leave me too!Fortunately you didn't! Because I don't know what to do if I lost you too!" I said between my sobs.

"Fool. I will not die. I will never leave you."

I went to his side and assisted him to stand up. His arms rested on my shoulder and we both walked again.

"You know what?! You're so stupid! Why did you let go of my hand?! Fortunately, the cliff is not fucking high and there is a river at the bottom of it. Otherwise I don't know what will happen to you!"

"You're the idiot one here. Why did you jump to the cliff?"

"Because I want to save you! I can't afford to lose you either! It would be better if I accompanied you to fall into the abyss and we both die together!"

Cold Face didn't speak a word. Huh! Cat got your tongue huh?! Maybe this prick finally realized that his dumb decision instigated my action.

"Silly woman."

I did not rebut and continued walking. If we continue bickering, our energy will be wasted. We have to preserve our energy as both of us badly needed it to survive.

"I saw a cave nearby. Let's rest there for tonight." he said.



So we went to that cave and fortunately there's no wild animal living there. The whole area is extremely dark and I can't see anything.

"You can take me down here. I know you're tired already."

I carefully sat him on the floor. I feel like a heavy rock was lifted from my body. I could not believe that this skinny body of mine was able to lead this giant man.

"I'll just get some wood to burn. Don't try to protest that you will go instead! Stay here. I'll be back. " I declared.

I already knew that he will repudiate my will so I preceded him in speaking before he could speak.

"Take care." I heard him silently said.

A faint smile appeared on my lips.

I walked out of the cave and began searching for dried woods. Heaven seems to be helping us because aside from the tree branches I saw, I also found Yarrow in the grasses. I took banana leaves too. After minutes of collecting, I went back to the cave while pulling dried branches of trees.

Using my bare hands, I broke the braches in pieces. I rubbed the woods and after minutes of doing that, a fire ignited . I instantly threw it to the stack of woods I created earlier.

"Finally. A fire."

The blazing fire light up the cave.

I extended my arm and warmed my hands over the it.

Hong Rong was the one who taught me how to create a fire. Until now, he's still helping me with every little thing.

I turn around and looked at Cold Face. He is currently sitting on the ground while leaning to the hard wall of the cave. Then I remembered his wound!

I stood up and went in front of him.

"How are you feeling? Let me see your wound."

I was about to reach for his robe when he shoved my hands away from his body.

"No. It's alright. I'm fine. You don't have to."

"Here you are rejecting me again! Stop acting tough when I know you are in pain!"

"Don't-"

Without hesitation, I pulled his robe and started to remove it. Cold Face averted his gaze as I untie his clothes. Geez. He is even more shy than a woman.

I was stunned when I saw his body. Not because of his six pack abs and well-defined chest. Because in his muscular body, horrible scars are plastered on his skin.

There are big scar on his lower abdomen. Also on his shoulders. They all looked like a cut from a sharp sword. By just looking at it, I can tell that he experienced extreme pain when he got that. I'm sure those are battle scars.

"I already told you. This is the reason why I don't want you to look at it. You will be scared."

"Huh? I am not scared. I was just stunned because this is the first time I saw someone having battle scar that much. I am not frightened or anything. Just surprised."

I examined his wound and saw that it is not deep but the cut is long. It is still bleeding.

"Really?"

I nodded at him.

"So don't be ashamed of it. Why would you be embarrassed when you should be proud of it in the first place? You are a soldier right? You got these for defending your nation. These are scars of honor! Wait, I'll just get the yarrow."

I stood up and went to the herbs I picked earlier. Then I went back to Cold Face. I crushed the leaves and flower to release its extract. The spicy pleasant smell of the herb filled the air. I began putting the crushed plant on his wound.



"Ping Hua told me that the leaves of Yarrow is a poultice for wounds that would not stop bleeding. It encourage clotting and are antiseptic. You will feel a little sting but it's bearable right?"

I looked up and saw Cold Face staring at me. When our eyes met, he instantly averted his gaze. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"This is just a first aid. A temporary medicine. We'll see a physician tomorrow."

Cold Face nodded.

"Here. Sleep on these banana leaves. You can't lie on the ground especially when you have a wound. I'll take this wet clothes of yours and hang it near the fire to get dry. "

"Thank you." he said.

"You are welcome. Take a rest now. We'll leave early in the morning."

Cold Face laid on the floor and faced my opposite direction. I took off my clothes and left my thin inner garments. I'll definitely catch a cold I continue wearing this wet clothes during my sleep. I hanged our clothes near the fireplace and laid on my own banana leaves.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep but my thought remained awake. I can't sleep. Because everytime I close my eyes, I think of Hong Rong.

The extreme pain I feel does not allow me to sleep. It's pricking every bits of me. I started crying again.

I clasped my palms and began to pray.

Hong Rong, wherever you are, I hope you're in peace now. I hope that you finally met all your loved ones. I wish for your happiness there.

Don't worry about me or your Master. I will take care of myself. I will also take care of him. I will never let your sacrifice be in vain. I will live my life to the fullest like you want me to. I will live my life like I'm living your life.

Till we meet again my dear friend. You will be forever engraved in my heart.

With tears falling from my eyes, I continue praying. I prayed for Cold Face's recovery. I prayed for our safety tomorrow.

I don't know if there's anyone listening to my prayes. I don't know if the Gods or the Heaven are listening to me. Even if only the bright moon is here. I just kept praying.

I pray to the moon for a better tomorrow.

I pray to the moon hoping that it will listen.