Tenth entry

Well, I might need someone who can actually force me to stay put considering all the impulsive decisions I keep making. The recent expedition to that naga-infested city clearly proves it. A lone girl walking inside an old city where there are dangers potentially hiding in every corner while the sound of the ongoing battle resonating all around her. Shame they don't pose any real threat to scare me away. I really should have more self control than this considering my actual age compared to current body's one. But let me first start from the beginning.

The siege of the city was more shorter than I expected. With those UAVs crashing on every major target and exploding it was a quick work wiping out any defences nagas had. The army still suffered a lot of casualties since these snakes still had a lot of surprises in store. As for us the supply train was stuck outside the city until the fighting had ended. Other than bringing up ammo and getting out the wounded there was nothing for us to do so it was easy sneak out and go inside the city. I know it was another of my stupid and impulsive decisions, but I just couldn't wait for the fighting to end. Not to mention there was a big chance that major artefacts such as books and paintings might end up destroyed.

It was easy for me to enter the city. I will admit that I was nearly caught by the colonial soldiers, but thankfully many of them were rookies so they thought they saw a mirage when they talked about it later in the camp. As for nagas, I knew I couldn't match them in physical combat so I surprised one of them, used telekinesis to shove its sword into it's neck and then reanimated its corpse. Now I had a bodyguard that could escort me. It was also able to understand me so I asked if there was a library or any place with books in the city. Sadly many of them were destroyed across the ages. It said that there was interesting room in the temple in the centre of the city so I followed it.

On the way there we came across several nagas who were surprised and confused about us. It was too easy to add them to my escort and in the end I had a nice small group of nagas escorting me to the temple. Sadly I couldn't keep them at the temple since the main part of the army was already there when we arrived. At least I did pass into the temple undetected. I followed the naga's instruction and entered the room that it said I would find the most interesting. And it was right.

That room was full of paintings depicting ancient history. It was like visiting a museum or an old church, but without any barriers between you and the artwork. My dad was a historian so I knew how important this was. Sadly before I could see everything and attempt to figure out the story in the paintings, someone came so I had to hide. I was bit surprised to see that the person that came was Galadea Pireni, the chief necromancer of the army.

By the time I had entered that room the sounds of fighting have quieted down so I expected her to be with the wounded. Thankfully she didn't notice me. Unfortunately she was also between me and the exit so I was stuck there. At least she had the same idea as me, checking out this room, and she was focused on the paintings so, as long as I hid my presence, I could listen to her and her theories as she was thinking aloud.

After some time the Prince arrived in the room too looking for his chief necromancer. I wish I took a chance earlier to escape since I am sure that they wouldn't like to know someone else was listening to their conversation. After all no one wants to know that the reason behind these expeditions is to discover a way to bring people back from the death. Imagine the reaction of the public. Either the people will consider him mad or more people will attempt to discover this. Not to mention he also wants to get free from the colonial council.

I better keep my mouth shut about this. But I do wonder about those paintings. According to them the paintings depicts a race of humans with dragon armour losing the war against another group of humans. The second group kept losing against the dragon warriors and kept evolving until eventually they overwhelmed the dragon warriors and expelled them from the city. What's confusing is the supposed depiction of a necromantic ritual on these paintings. Apparently these humans were able to cast some sort of light that brought people back to life and restored their bodies in full.

Now I can understand why this would interest His Highness. Especially since he lost his entire family in the revolution in Sathen back on the continent. But he might be rushing this before thinking it through. After all there are too many mysteries surrounding this. For instance if this beam of light was able to bring people back to life, why it took more than one war to defeat the dragon warriors? Why was the enemy culture the one depicted in this supposedly sacred place? Why did this culture disappear if they were able to bring people back to life? These questions and so many others needed to be answered before we could decipher this.

Anyway, after they finally left, I realized there was nothing for me to do so I bolted there before I could get caught. I managed to get in before anyone noticed I was missing. Well, Cass did. We had a talk afterwards about this. I told her everything about what happened minus some stuff about the Prince. I did imply to her that she should support him on his decisions. And that was that. After this it was helping out with the distribution of the supplies, cleanup of the bodies and then return back to Metzaca. That was it for that expedition.

Or so I thought. The Prince's talk about him bringing his family and everyone back triggered nightmares in me and reminded me of… of… of it. That one war. No, that one battle. I never thought there would be something to remind me of the disaster. And now I keep having these nightmares. The memories of reading that dreaded lists, watching the empty ships that were once full of life, seeing all the wounded in the military hospital, the looks on the faces of the survivors… That single campaign has scarred every soldier, officer and civilian forever. I… I…

Didn't expect another crying session while standing over the diary, writing my thoughts. For once I will actually reveal parts of my past life. If only so that I can share the reasons behind the nightmares. In my previous life I belonged to a civilization that was able to cross the stars. A highly developed civilization that had several dozen races working together to prosper among the stars. I was a general in the military and had participated in several wars. But this war was very special. There was an enemy known as Biluan Mind. A hive mind infamous for attacking and devouring anything it came across. It was clear that we couldn't allow it to exist after the deaths of billions by their hands. Sadly I was at head of Task Force Ethereal so I couldn't participate in the largest expedition at the time.

30 million soldiers left for the campaign to attack the mind's, well, mind at the planet officially referred to as Voice. Now we have expected major casualties on this campaign. Previous wars clearly indicated such results. But no one had expected such a massacre. 30 million left for Voice. Less than 3, including the dead, have retuned back from it. Nothing could describe the feeling the loss we had. We won. We destroyed the mind and every drone fell apart. Everyone in the galaxy should have celebrated it. And yet there was nothing but deafening silence. Who would blame them?

I remember trying to read the list of the dead to see how many I would recognize. I couldn't bring myself to continue after the 100th name I recognized. Almost every psionic officer and soldier that hasn't joined the Ethereal died on Voice. I just… I just… No words could accurately  describe my feelings when the expedition returned home. So many left behind on a destroyed planet. And those who lived will forever carry horrifying memories of their brothers-in-arms dying around them like my little angel.

My firstborn daughter was among the soldiers. It took her a decade of medical help to get through the trauma she received there. I can barely imagine what would have happened if I was there. Considering my circumstances, I could have been among the dead. Now all I have left are painful memories and nightmares. At least now I have something to look forward to Metzaca with the proper opening of the local branch of Archivists Guild. I hope I can find something there to stave off these damn nightmares.