Mr. Book Store

CHAPTER 21

MCKINLEY P.O.V

*talk of death*

I was about to head over to Luke's for dinner after work when I got a call from and of course he was talking to someone else when I answered.

"Luke." I said annoyed. He always did that, don't call me when you're still having a conversation with someone else.

"Hey, Babe. I'm gonna be at the office for a few more hours but I was wondering if you wanted to come here and eat with me and the boys?" He asked.

"Oh. Yeah sure." I smiled. "Want me to still pick up food from Outback?" I asked.

"Yeah, I already called it in. Just tell them the name Luke. It's already paid for." He answered into the phone before Michael started shouted in the back.

"Alright. I'll be there soon." I said.

"I love you." I could hear his smile through the phone.

"I love you too." I answered before hanging up and rushing over to Outback and then quickly went to his office. Amanda, the receptionist was already gone so I headed to his office where him and Ashton were. "Hello, love." I smiled kissing him, bringing his head back.

"Hi, cute stuff."

"My turn." Ashton said pouting his lips for a kiss.

"No." Luke shoved him before pulling me into his lap. "No one kisses my girlfriend." I giggled kissing Luke again before shoving off and grabbing my food. We all ate together as they made plans on what was going to be going on with the new album that someone had just made.

I sat and listened to them bicker for a while before I got bored and began roaming around the offices. I somehow ended up in Michael's office, he had tons of pictures but the one that stood out the most was of a little girl. She was wearing a cute sundress with bright colors but was holding up a rock and roll sign with her finger's.

"Thats Macy." Calum said from behind me. "Michael's daughter." I was shocked to find out that he had a child. He clearly had her very young.

"How come he never talks about her?" I questioned looking back and forth between the picture and Calum.

"She um, she was diagnosed with leukemia at two. She passed in her sleep a few weeks later." I couldn't imagine what Michael had gone through. "Macy's mom ran after that. Mike hasn't seen her since." I sat down to look at the picture.

"I bet she was just like Michael." I smiled a little.

"He loved her more than he had loved anyone else in the entire world. Luke is her godfather." Calum added.

"He never told me that."

"They don't talk about it." I nodded. "Don't bring it up to him either." I wouldn't do that. I would let Luke tell me in time if he wanted to.

"How did Mike end up with such a cute little kid?"

"He had been dating Julie for a while. The first time they ever had sex she got pregnant. He of course proposed and was planning a life with her and the baby. When Macy was born things got rocky. Then when she was diagnosed it was like the world was falling. Mike missed a lot of work and Julie would yell at him. So when Macy lost her battle, Julie went on the run and Michael did nothing but work."

"She would have loved you." Michael said coming into the room. "She was beautiful."

"She is." I smiled. "She has your smile." He sat beside me.

"Cancer took my little girl from me." I held his hand as he talked. He told me as much as he could and I listened. I wish I could know that little girl.

After talking with Michael, I drove Luke home.

"I heard you guys talking about Macy." I looked over at him.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I didn't want him to be upset that I had questioned someone about Macy. I'm glad that it was Calum that told me because I wasn't sure how Luke or Michael would have reacted.

"Don't be." He answered. "It's just hard to talk about. She was so little and so full of life and she was taken from us."

"I know baby." I grabbed his hand. I could tell that he was doing his best to keep himself together.

"She deserved more than that." He rolled his eyes. "And then her mother just ran off like the she was only one who lost a child."

I laid in bed with Luke as he talked. At one point he was crying and I had no idea what to do. I wanted nothing but to make the pain of this child's death a little easier and I couldn't.

He eventually fell asleep with me rubbing his back. I felt terrible. I wish that they had never had to go through that. I barely slept that night, getting stressed every time Luke made a noise or moved to get more comfortable. The most comforting thing was his hand in mine. Every so often he would rub his thumb back and forth.

The next morning I got up before him and made him breakfast. He came into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. He had a pair of shorts on but nothing else. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close.

"I wanna go see her today." He answered.

"Okay, baby. Whatever you want." I answered staying as calm as possible. If I were to make a big deal about this, it would stress him out and he might change his mind. "Let's eat and take a shower and then we can go okay?" I questioned and he nodded sitting down to eat. I cleaned up quickly before going to join him in the shower. "I love you." I hugged him.

"I love you too." I wanted nothing more than to let him know that I was going to be here for him when he needed me.

*LUKE P.O.V*

We drove in silence to the grave sight where Macy was buried. McKinley was quiet the entire time, holding my hand as tight as she could without hurting me. Once a year Michael and I would take a trip to see Macy, but we hadn't gotten around to it in a while. Now was the time.

"How old would she be?" McKinley questioned.

"She would be five." I answered. She stayed quiet after that. She held the flowers on her lap that she planned to lay on the grave. I wasn't sure what to say to her. I knew that she had been through a family death before but never a child. Losing a child, to something like cancer, is terrible. It ruins people lives. "The fact that her mom didn't even stick around to help Michael out pisses me off so much."

"People all grieve in different ways." She said looking at me. "She needed to run to help herself."

"Michael was more than willing to help her through their loss. And instead she ran off and a week after his child's death he gets papers in the mail stating that she wants a divorce."

"Calum said that they weren't getting along." She whispered, probably afraid that I would get mad. "It was probably for the best that she left. It made it easier to Mike to grieve his child."

"He wants another more than anything. Tells us all the time that he would gladly get someone pregnant. That he's tried before."

"He can't go around trying to get people pregnant." She said. I shrugged. "He wants a baby that bad?" I nodded. "He could get a surrogate."

"Let's just drop it." I answered and continued to drive. As we got closer I slowed down, I wasn't really sure if I was ready for this. When we lost Macy, when she lost her battle, we were all heart broken. We were heartbroken for Michael, for his family, for ourselves. That was a child and for some crazy reason she was taken away from us and none of us were sure why. "You know, after she died Michael said he was relieved." I wasn't sure why he had said that.

"She wasn't in pain anymore, baby. There is some place better than here. Somewhere better for her." She answered. I parked the car before making the trip to her grave, McKinley doing her best to stay close.

"It's not fair." I answered sitting on the ground looking at the headstone. McKinley laid the flowers down and sat next to me. "She was so little." I whispered. I remember gripping onto Michael as they lowered her into the ground, gripping him so he wouldn't jump on top of the casket. I remember picking him up from bars at four in the morning for the next month while he tried to figure out what to do with his life.

I remember going to his house to ask if he wanted to move and finding him asleep on the floor in her room. I cleaned his place while I waited for him to wake up. When he did, he sat down next to me on the couch. We sat in silence until he asked if I could make him food. From that day on Michael did nothing but work.

Me and McKinley stayed quiet as we looked at the headstone.

'Gone far too soon.' It read. I was so angry. I was angry at the world for taking such a beautiful child, for making her go through all of that pain for no reason. I sighed before standing up.

"Are we leaving?"

"I would like to." I mumbled heading back to the car. She followed behind me. "Can I treat you to lunch?" She questioned and I nodded heading to a restaurant to eat. We stayed quiet throughout the entire time eating and driving back to my apartment. We cuddled on the couch and watched a movie for the rest of the day.

"Want me to sleepover? Or would you rather be alone?" She asked.

"Please stay." I commented as I cooked dinner.

"Whatever you want." She answered wrapping her arms around me and resting her head on my back. "I don't want you to be sad." She commented.

"I know, Babe. I'm trying my hardest." The world was a terrible place to live but with that little girl in our lives, it made it seem tens time better. "Thanks for staying with me." I turned around in her arms and kissed her. "It means a lot to me."

"I will stay for as long as you need me to." I smiled at her before the timer for our food went off and I turned to get it out of the oven and serve it. "Wine?" I questioned holding up a bottle.

"Sure." She smiled. "Thank you." Dating McKinley was the greatest thing in the world, of course we got into fights, any couple will but the minute I say I need her for something, she's there. I need help building anything, she's the first person to answer my text telling me to give her a few minutes to get ready. She was my person.

I sat across from her and ate, watching her as she was in her own little world as she ate. I was so in love with her. I needed her in my everyday life. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been around.

"Where have you been all my life?" I questioned. She looked up at me and smiled.

"I was right under your nose." She giggled and tapped my nose with her finger. "We just had to grow up a little first. But I now know why you are the way you are."

"Am I a bad person?" She shook her head. "What if I was?" I questioned.

"I would love you either way." She answered.

*MCKINLEY P.O.V*

That night, Luke insisted on having sex. Not sure why he needed to in his state of mind but I allowed it to happen. He was vulnerable. He needed it and I was willing to give it to him. It was slow and lovely and everything I had dreamed about when having sex when I was a 15 year old girl imagining how my sex life would be.

He fell asleep shortly after leaving me in my thoughts as I looked at him. Every so often a small snore would escape his mouth making me smile a little. Luke needed to show more emotion than he does. We both knew that he needed to, he just never wanted to. I would never force him to show emotion if he didn't want to.

"No." He mumbled before pulling me into him. I smiled and kissed his face.

"I'm not leaving."