Memories

Ria had always continued to be disappointed by her loved ones when she had trusted someone in her life.

She was still disappointed, only that now she did not believed like before.

She had lost faith in her people and was trying to achieve everything on her own. She never asked for help from anyone no matter how hard her job was.

But no matter how hard she tried to escape the truths that broke her so much, there was always something that struck those "childhood" memories. And no matter how hard she tried to be, when it came to her childhood and the fact that she was abandoned, her eyes wet like the first day.

She cried loudly as a small child, without being ashamed of herself because no one had ever been there for her. She had never had an arm to lean on when she needed to cry. Or someone to share her joy when she was happy.

HAPPY ? ....

Has she ever been happy? .

She had really managed to feel the happiness inside her after all those things she had gone through, or she was just so good improviser, that she managed to improvise that she was very happy.

Well, maybe she had never felt happiness, but she had succeeded in life.

To live or to survive…?

Maybe she had just managed to survive everything in her life, but she had not lived a single day since the night she was ousted.

But she was aware of all this. Or was she so ladyly that she had managed to erase her weaknesses from herself with so much skill.

Maybe she was just used to everything that had happened in her life, with all the pain, the longing, the struggle that was going on inside her that she thought she had forgotten everything.

Because NO ! No one can forget the things that made her suffer so much.

You can not miss a single day, and not feel the need for a parental embrace or the desire to have a family.

You can pretend or you can say that you do not need anyone or anything, but you will always feel the need to have a family, to have someone to share the joy, the pain, to give someone the love that comes from your own heart.

Because if you do not have someone to give that love to, it will grow and grow so much that you will love everyone. But you never manage to love yourself.

Yes, if you have nothing you will be able to survive, you will probably have a job, a life, a home and a gap so large that you will not be able to feel the satisfaction of anything you have achieved.

And Ria knew this very well.

She had lived a life full of pain, wounds caused by her father's beatings, by her mother's failure to do anything. She grew up thinking that maybe she was not good enough to be loved by them, maybe that was why she did not allow people to offer her more than she should.

Because when you do not have anyone so heartfelt, you get hurt less.

But damn it, there was so much need for a hug now, when the memories of her childhood collided once more with her face, for a chest where she could put her head and pour out the pain hidden deep inside her.