Chapter III

* * * * * * *

"Hey...who are you? W-wait!" I stretched my arm out in front of me. My vision was blurred and foggy. The figure in front of me left me on the ground, confused. They walked away as I called for them. They were ignoring me. I stood up and tripped off of my own foot. I ran towards them, calling them to get their attention. Everything was fuzzy, and I couldn't tell where I was. I'm pretty sure I was laying on the couch...so how...just how did this happen?

"Hey! Wait!" I yelled the loudest I could...yet they still couldn't hear me. I ran after them, and they finally turned around and smiled. She mouthed something, and I'm pretty sure it said 'Sing me'. Don't ask me what that means because I have no clue. It didn't even make sense. After that, she disappeared... like how everybody basically disintegrated in Endgame. I stood there in disbelief and awe. All that was left of her was a silk hanfu and a jade hairpin.

I picked it up and folded it neatly, and put the pin in my pocket. I sighed and closed my eyes for a second. My vision was still a bit blurry, but not as much as before. I played with my hair while thinking about what my next move should be. I couldn't tell where I was, everything was unfamiliar, and it was dark. I turned my body to look behind me and the wisteria tree was there.

"Okay, okay, I have been sober for a month...what the hell is going on?! Maybe I hit my head...everything is so...trippy." I stared at the tree for a minute or two. Just observing it. A wind blew its long branches, and soon enough, it too had disappeared like the woman. Everything was falling apart. The tree was withering away, it no longer had its glow, everything became covered with this pitch-black darkness. And then it dawned on me.

My heart began racing and so did my thoughts. "The...the rukh?!" My hands and legs were trembling. "S-sing me...no. Zheng Ye. Zheng Ye...now how the hell...ugh. This isn't good." I have to leave. Now.

I looked around, but there was nowhere to go, the darkness was engulfing everything, and soon it'd take me too. I yelled for it to stop, but I knew it was pointless. What could I possibly do against any of this? I fell to my knees almost crying. What...what is this?

I closed my eyes and accepted the inevitable defeat.

Maybe I should've just stayed home, where I belonged. No...I hated it there, I'm happy now, right? I think I am...maybe I didn't truly hate it... Goddamnit, that's not important right now!

I watched everything around me disappear as I also disappeared myself. It was so dark that I couldn't see my own feet. This...can't be the rukh Rashi mentioned, can it? I mean it'd make sense if it was, why am I questioning it? Speaking of Rashi... can't I summon him?

I took a breath and closed my eyes. I tried to summon Rashi, but I couldn't sense him. Why can't I... what's happening? What did I do? A hot tear streamed down my face. I started overthinking about the various possibilities, like what if I never leave this place? Would I just rot here? I don't even know what brought me here...I must've done something wrong. Ugh...it's probably because I left home. I lay down on my back and stared into the neverending darkness that surrounded me. Maybe...this was supposed to happen. Ha...maybe it's just my fate. I'm sorry. Maybe if I did things differently...Would any of this have been better if I did nothing?

I dried my face to no avail. Tears just kept streaming down uncontrollably.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?! I'm so...Mom...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you. It was incredibly selfish...given the chance to come back and I declined...I have no idea how you're coping with this, and I'm sorry...I... I'm sorry I wasn't perfect enough. I'm sorry for failing as a son...as a brother...nephew...as a decent human being. I-I'm sorry..." I facepalmed myself, still crying. "Tch. Look at me, so pathetic. I'm just rambling nonsense...it's not like she can hear me." I chuckled and wiped my eyes. I softly whispered to myself "It's probably better this way...maybe." I know that thinking about my past mistakes won't help anything, but I can't help it. This must be fate. One thing in my past had led to this, but I just can't figure out what... "Ha...haha I'm such an idiot, aren't I?"

I closed my eyes again. I sighed and tried to calm my racing thoughts and nerves.

When I opened them everything was...normal. Or at least I thought it was. I was where I had first arrived...a week earlier. When I had first met Rashi. Something felt off, but I couldn't tell what it was. There wasn't any rukh. At all. This made absolutely no sense whatsoever. I was just about to be swallowed in black rukh...but now all of it suddenly wants to disappear. What is going on... What is this trying to tell me?

Confused, I sat down and thought, 'Holy crap I must be asleep. What a weird dream...' I wonder if I can do anything special since this is a dream. If...it was a dream. What if it was a premonition? What if that's the near future? Well, I guess those would all be the same thing... I need to stop with the "what if's" and get some concrete answers. But how would I get an answer from a dream I had? I thought of myself being back home, with my family. Just seeing them there, it released some stress...even though it's fake, it still gave me some relief.

In the distance, I could hear my name be called, following a loud screech.

A thought lingered in my head, "I shouldn't have come here.".