Internal Struggles

I stare at the clock. How could it only be 7:40pm? It feels like I've been in the common room trying to study for hours and it's only been twenty minutes. I lay my arm across the table and lay my head down atop it letting out a loud long sigh. This did not go unnoticed. "Umm, you ok L/N?" ask Kaminari. "Yeah, you do seem rather annoyed" mused Iida. "I just feel like this day is dragging on FOREVER somehow." I whine at them. Kirishima laughs and says "Is it the work study you're so desperate to get back to or Suneater?" I feel my full face flush with red and deadpan Kirishima "This has nothing to do with any of that ok, it's just been a super long day." I snap. It's been six weeks since I started my work study with Fat Gum, going to his agency on Tuesdays and Fridays and tonight is Thursday. Honestly it feels more like my work study is with Tamaki since I'm always teamed up with him. I look at the time again. 7:42. "Ugggghhhh, I'm going to bed, I'm sick of this day!"

In my room I try not to think about what Kirishima said. What does he know about it anyway? It's not like he had a work load like mine, he had loads of free time, it was just a long day, really, that's all, nothing more. I close my eyes to sleep and smile as a vision of a tall figure with indigo hair popped into my head, eyes shooting open, "Dammit!" I yell at no one. Is Kirishima right? No that can't be it. Sure Tamaki is gorgeous and super sweet, but so what. I can't afford to let my mind dwell on it. It's not like he would be into me. He's a side kick to a loved pro, he has his own place in Eshu city, and he's twenty years old. He has no interest in a seventeen year old high school student who can't leave campus without permission. That's when that little voice in my mind chimed in. You'll be eighteen in three days and you're graduating in three months, you could be together then. No, shut up inner voice damn you. "At least invite him over for your birthday, you're friends right? Had to admit that was a fair point. It's last minute so he probably won't come, but I should at least ask him.

Time Skip

"But anyway, I understand if you can't make it, it's not much notice" I finally finished fumbling out. Tamaki looks at me for a long moment, it feels like he's staring into my soul. "F/C" he says. I look at him confused. "F/C, it's your favorite, i-isn't it?" I feel giddy at the realization he knows this and managed to give him a nod. "Well, I'll see you Sunday at seven, i-if that's ok. I know you said five, but I get off at six, and by the time I change and drive over it will be s-seven." I suddenly become aware of how hard and fast my heart is beating and forget how to breathe. "Yeah, Seven is great, I'll save you some food" I smile at him thinking of the irony that I'm able to take away anxiety from others yet can't calm myself in this conversation. The two of us continue our patrol. "Look Suneater, a yellow butterfly" Tamaki gives a quick smile at the insect before it flies away.

Tamakis POV

I can't believe she actually invited me to come to her birthday party. Or gathering as she called it. After trying to come up with the nerve to ask her out, she just opened an opportunity for me. Her party will be perfect, I'm so happy I figured out her favorite color. Not that it was difficult considering her phone case and she often complimented objects in the shade. I saw the perfect gift for her just a few days ago, With any luck it will still be there. I know that even if I can't find the right words that gift will help her to understand how I feel. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met and if I'm lucky soon I can make her my girlfriend. I'll probably still be jealous every time I see another guy talking to her, but at least I would know for sure that she feels something back for me if she were my girlfriend. Sunday can't get her fast enough. Then again, I'll likely make a fool of myself asking her out. I should just be happy I was invited and go. She'll never be mine, she can barely stand to look at me as it is.