Shift

The pain faded after a moment, but I laid there breathing hard, body pushed to exhaustion. I could already feel Regeneration working to alleviate that, though, and I healed myself to hasten the process, clamoring to my feet just moments after going down. As long as I was alive, as long as I had power to fuel my skills, what happened to my body was almost irrelevant, so I pushed on through, looking at my opponent.

"You've gotten stronger," My mother praised, waiting patiently as I rose. We stood together in the clearing I'd made during my training back…wow, sometimes it was hard to remember that it was really not all that long ago. It was only a week or two ago that I'd been wasting away some time out here, training myself for the mission. I wasn't sure when she'd found this place, though it probably hadn't taken long after finding out I was missing. I wonder what she'd thought when she saw it? She must have known I came out here to practice, but what'd she think when she saw the pockmarks I'd left behind beside the disturbingly pristine trees I'd healed? Did she see something in the marks, go over them again and again trying to discern some hint as to my whereabouts?

I didn't know and it made me feel guilty again. But now I was…

Well, getting my ass kicked, honestly. She'd brought me out here to train, asking about my skills to begin with. I'd given her a rundown of what I could do, where I could give specifics—the MP costs, my MP and HP bars, how regain my SP and HP by healing myself, how I replenished HP and MP at a rate of one percent a minute prior to other modifiers, and the general stuff about the Gamer's Mind and Body—all of which she'd dutifully noted down in her notebook. I'd even listed my exact stats and given the general descriptions of most of my skills, though a lot of those things were more relative. As a result, I wasn't surprised in the slightest when she'd demanded a sparring match to test my strength. I wasn't surprised when she asked I show her my full power, either, though I'd warned her.

Not about any danger to her, of course, because that'd just be silly. I still couldn't see her level which meant she must have been…I wasn't sure, but at least level seventy-something. I had neither fear for her safety, nor any delusions of victory. What I'd warned her about had been, quite simply, about the costs of the White Tiger's Five Hundred Years and that just because the Gamer's Body and my various skills made it look like I was invincible didn't mean I wasn't taking damage. I didn't want her to splatter me on accident or something, so I made sure she knew my limits and that I might need to heal myself periodically.

She'd nodded in acceptance and told me it wouldn't be an issue.

It hadn't been. She'd just put me down hard and then let me scrape myself off the ground before going again. Even with my vastly enhanced speed, she kept up with me without a single wasted movement. Her eyes were alert and her face expressionless as she calmly parried each of my strikes with her sword—probably more to test my strength than anything else.

"You used your fists as your weapon on your mission?" She asked as we fell into what probably counted as a relaxed rhythm when your level was in the stratosphere.

I went to nod but aborted it to shake my head.

"I had gauntlets," I said, hands on the restored Crocea Mors as I tried with all my might to push her back. I wouldn't succeed, but that wasn't the point of the exercise.

"Even so," She said, take a step closer with no apparent effort, pushing my feet back along the ground. I couldn't use Observe on her, so I wasn't sure how her strength compared to Penny's, but she wielded it with an ease and grace that set her apart. There was strength and surety in every motion, a silent confident in her casual stride as she pushed back. "Is that your weapon of choice now?"

I half-shrugged, trying to stay upright and braced against the immense weight.

"I needed a fighting style that was different from my own," I explained distractedly. "Fell a little behind because I trained my martial arts so much, but the type of weapon doesn't really matter. I wanted to work on my swordsmanship some, though."

She hummed and made a gesture like she was shaking something off her sword.

I went flying again, barely managing to get my feet beneath me and bounce off the tree.

"Not that I don't enjoy this—because I do," I said honestly. "But you're not trying to show me that there are bigger fish or something, are you? Because boy, do I know. Half my plan was trying to avoid getting into fights against people I could lose again. I can use Observe, too, and see peoples levels and stats and such, so…well, I know where I stand with most of the people around me. Even if I can't see their levels and stuff, that just means they're out of my league. It's pretty hard to me to underestimate people, honestly. I mean, I'll fight them anyway if I have to, but…"

"Good," She said, coming to my side with that same casual serenity. She presumably passed through all the points between point A and B to get there, but I couldn't confirm that—I just reacted to my Danger Sense and brought up my shield in defense. Parrying even an absent attack sent shocks of pain through my arm and hammered me down hard enough that I felt dirt brush my ankles. "Knowing where you stand is vital to any battle. Knowing when you have to fight and when you can avoid it, perhaps even more so. Your ability makes such things easier for you than most and that's good. If you had fought the wrong person…"

I heard worry color her voice a moment before the pressure on me lightened. I didn't relax, still aware of the danger, but instead brought up my shield. She flicked her blade several meters away and threw me back.

"You did well, Jaune," She said, voice steady once more. "I know something of the opponents you had to fight, the odds you had to face, and you did very well. And I won't insult you by saying you got lucky—"

"Nah, luck had a fair amount to do with it," I shook my head. If I'd fought Penny anywhere but a Dust mining town…

"Because I can see how far you've come," She continued as if I hadn't said anything. "But it's precisely because you've come so far that this is necessary. You've decided, haven't you?"

I knew what she was asking and the answer was obvious—but I saw the gravity of her expression and knew how serious this question was, so I considered it silently for a moment. There were a lot of arguments to be made either way, but even so, the answer was still…

"Yes," I said at last. "I want to help people. Hunter, healer, it doesn't matter—but this is who I want to be. It's all I ever wanted."

She nodded, looking at once saddened and proud.

"Then, if your mind's made up, I will train you," She replied. "You don't need anyone to tell you that stronger opponents exist; you know that better than most your age. Your heart is in the right place and, though we'll discuss your actions later, I trust it and I trust you. Though you've made some choices I consider foolish, you made them for reasons I can see and understand and you took my words to heart when it came to the value of wisdom. Granted, if I had known how deeply such words would shape you…well, it doesn't matter, does it? You turned out well, Jaune. However…"

She turned her face away, looking up at the sky. I don't know what she saw there, but it probably wasn't just the stars.

"You probably know this, too," She said quietly. "But we live in an unforgiving world. It's cruel to the innocent and the weak—and crueler still to those who'd fight to defend them. If you make a mistake out there, I can't promise you'll ever get a chance to make another one…and the awful truth is that we all make mistakes. I…"

Her lips tried to form words but couldn't seem to give them breath. After a moment, she closed her mouth, apparently changing her mind.

"I'm glad that I got to see you grow up," She said. "All of you. I had friends who never got to do so for their children…and others who died too young to even consider having them. A lot of Hunters simply disappear one day; go out on a mission that no one knew was special and just…never come back. Sometimes they leave behind bodies, sometimes…sometimes we don't even know until a week becomes a month. Your father and I have avoided that thus far, as have your sisters, but…someday…"

"Yeah," I said quietly, looking at the ground, remembering a child's fears, a sister's words, lies we all hoped were true. "I…I know."

"I've seen a lot of good men and women go," She continued after a moment. "Some of them…maybe stronger than me. That I'm here and they aren't was only because of…luck? Skill? Maybe a mixture? I don't know. But…I do know that strength alone isn't always enough. Nor skill, nor even luck. The odds are against us, because we can win a thousand times, but we only have to lose once and it doesn't—"

She cut herself off for a moment, closing her eyes before continuing.

"Maybe that's why," She said, shaking her head. "I didn't…I didn't want this. I'm sorry, I told myself I wouldn't stop you and I won't—but I didn't want this life for any of you. But your sisters…one by one, they excelled. What I've seen others struggle with for years came to them so easily and they were each so different but from the moment they could answer it was like…"

She shook her head.

"They all wanted to be Huntresses. They never wanted to be anything else and everyone knew they would be great. One day, I knew they'd all surpass me. And some days I thought…God, some days I wondered if it was a punishment for…for living where others died, to send my children away to fight one by one. I'd never thought about it, even when I left home to do the same, but…and then you were born and I saw how much it hurt you every time you struggled and it was horrible of me, but at the same time I thought that maybe, if you…"

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"No," She said, shaking her head. "Don't be. I'm proud of you and I'm proud of them. But I'm also scared for you all. And when you didn't come back, I thought that maybe this was it. The first. But you came back."

"I did," I agreed awkwardly. "And we'll…they're all strong, so we'll…"

"Yes," She agreed. "They were all so strong…maybe it was inevitable that this would happen, too. I always expected it, really, that one day you'd find your way—and I wouldn't stand in it. But even if you're strong, strength isn't always enough to let you win. So I trained all of your sisters, when they decided what they really wanted. As best I could, I made sure they'd be safe."

"Is that why…?" I hesitated, unable to finish the question.

"Why they hate me?" She asked calmly.

"They don't hate you," I protested immediately, even though I'd raised the topic. "They just…don't like coming home…"

I trailed off lamely.

"They probably don't hate me, not really," She shook her head. "Though if they did, I wouldn't blame them. I certainly hated my teacher, even if I owe her my life. I trained them hard, even when things came so easily to them, and I didn't let up. I told them what I told you, about the risks they'd face as Hunters, and then I did my utmost to prepare them for it. I want to protect you all, but the truth is…I can't. So I'll make sure you can protect yourselves, even if you hate me for it. For you especially…I know what you can withstand and I wouldn't go easy on you, not when the things I teach you might save your life. Knowing that, is this still what you want?"

"Of course," I said instantly. "I'm not afraid. This body of mine will keep going no matter how badly I get hurt and I don't sleep and I barely get tired. I heal quickly no matter what happens and I learn fast. Whatever it is, I'm ready—but I want you to know, I won't hate you."

She looked me up and down, sighing slightly.

"We'll see," She said gently.

XxXXxX