Feelings

Octavia goes back to my room with me. She looks around "No wonder you wanted to stay." She says. "Stop. You know why I'm here." I reply. "I saw Indra in the crowd. Why wasn't she with Lexa?" Octavia asks me. "Indra's not doing so well. But we can't deal with that right now." "So what do we do?" "I have to talk to Lexa." I say. "You just did that and she came out with a kill order on all of us. That's the second time she's let us die." "The 12 clans want a war. You know that. Lexa's just trying not to wipe us out." I say. "Why am I not surprised that you're still defending her?" She says. "I'll see what I can do." I say before I go to Lexa's room.

When I enter Lexa's room I see her sitting on the floor, meditating. She looks so peaceful. "Someone tried to kill you today. How are you this calm?" I ask her. She opens her eyes and looks up at me. "You're angry about the kill order." She says. "Yes." I reply honestly. "How else would you have me enforce a blockade?" She's right. If there weren't consequences for skaikru crossing the border then they all would cross it. "So when do we have to leave?" I ask her. She stands up, and walks closer to me. She looks into my eyes. "We may be drawing a line, but who's to say you can't chose to stay on this side of it?" She asks. She wants me to stay. I hear Titus in the background. "I know someone who might." I say. Lexa softly smiles. I love it when she smiles, and she only does around me. Titus walks in. "Wanheda. The blockade goes into effect at dawn, and I've made arrangements for you to take one of our fastest horses." Titus says. "Actually I've asked Clarke to stay in Polis as my guest." Lexa says. "Clarke will you excuse us?" Titus asks. I nod and walk out.

Lexa's POV

I know Titus is going to be mad for me wanting Clarke to stay here. "On this sacred day, I beg you to remember my teachings. Love is weakness. To be commander is to be alone." He says. I hate when he talks about this. I've heard it a million times when I was with Costia. "I will not here this again." I say. "Yes you will." He reply's. "Your feelings for Clarke put both of you in danger." He knows? Is it that obvious that I feel something for her? "Your milk order must be fully enforced. If you care for Clarke you will send her home, it is the only way that she will be safe!" He says, his voice getting louder. I feel my jaw move side to side automatically. It's something that just happens automatically when I'm angry or sad. "Don't make her pay for your mistakes as Costia did." Is he serious? He's bringing Costia into this? I stare into his eyes. "My mistakes?" I say angrily. "Azgeda cut off Costias head and delivered it to my bed! And still I let them into my alliance!" I yell. "I am more then capable of separating feelings from duty." I say. He looks down, ashamed. He should be. "I'm sorry Lexa. I didn't mean to offend you." "Yes you did." I say. "But you also mean well. And I know that." "May I make arrangements for Clarke's departure?" He asks. "That's up to Clarke." I say. He leaves the room, and I'm left alone. I don't want Clarke to leave. I like having her here.

Clarke's POV

"She told you you could stay, didn't she?" Octavia says, as she walks in. "What did you say?" She asks. "Nothing." I say. I want to stay. I like being near Lexa, but I know Octavia will be really mad. "Clarke we both know that Clarke won't obey the blockade. We need to stop him before more people get killed." "What if I can do more for them by just staying here?" I ask. "You can't Clarke. We need you. The kill order goes into effect at dawn. You have an hour to say your goodbyes." She starts walking out, but at the door she says, "if you're not there, you're not the person I thought you were." With that she walks out.

———

Thank you for reading this chapter!

Say anything here—->