Chapter thirteen: Cows and farms

THE WIND BLEW HARDER BY the second as I clutch my freezing hands to me, refusing to talk to the boy who has decided to sit next to me and not utter a single word; he only offered a bottle of water and some tissues.

"Why did you follow me all the way here?" I speak avoiding looking at him, I hate looking pathetic "I saw you looking at some fucker did he hurt you? Ex-boyfriend?" "No" I answer shortly

"I'd be happy to give him a piece of mind if you want" he surprises with his suggestion, I thought he couldn't stand me and now he wants to beat someone for me "I am curious about something to be honest, why do you exhaust me mentally if you can treat me this good?"

For the first time he looks at my face and laugh lightly at my words, I hope he doesn't punch me in the face the next second. "Okay Sheryl I won't exhaust you in any way unless you have other plans..."

Oh my god!

"That's why I can't be friends with you jerk half the time you're nasty and you spend the other half tormenting me" "well it's not that I hate you, you're not easy to hate anyway, it's just you remind me of someone"

"Shit and you really mistreat me for that reason!" I say and wipe the excess of tears in my eyes

"Stop your complaint and let's get a drink, you're hard to deal with" he stops our banter and pulls my hand with him towards a boulevard I am not familiar with leaving me speechless.

It would always takes me nights to slightly calm down from my anxiety attacks I grasp Elliot's hand even more as a way to thank him for making me forget even for a short time, I don't care if he notices, but I keep holding on tight till we make it to a dinner. We head over a table and I take in the warmness of the place "I'll order something okay?" I nod my head and wonder again if it's the same Elliot everyone knows. He makes me really confused. I am starting to like this side of him but I am afraid of him going back to treat me indifferently, I guess he won't anymore since we're friends now- "here are the drinks, the food will arrive soon" he places a very hot chocolate milk in front of me, I couldn't be any more grateful "thanks Elliot just to know I don't have money on me, I left my purse at the dinner" I say to him as he sits down and takes a sip from his drink, he snorts loudly at my statement "Jesus Christ then you'll spend the night working what you'll eat" he answers calmly and my face falls in horror.

"Oh my god oh my god I knew I shouldn't have followed you jerk" I quickly look for my phone in my back pocket but find nothing, how am I going to call May? "Sheryl? Earth to Sheryl?" Elliot grasps my hands and I am tempted to strangle him "calm down I swear I was kidding you woaaah you surely think I am a monster" he says to me slowly as If I was disabled "do you think you're not?" I try to give him a taste of his own medicine answering as composed as I could.

I wish I would've swallowed the words back Elliot's bright face falls in a poker one as he retreats his hands back to his drink and we fall into silent.

"I am sorry I shouldn't have said that, you're not a monster" I quickly apologize and fight the urge to run away and hide; I am growing stressed when I am around him and I don't like it. "It's okay Sheryl, oh food's here" he answers shortly and disguise his bad mood. I clutch my lavender top trying to ease the tension building in my body; I look at my clammy hands and curse my mouth, Elliot is surely a not a bad person. He dives in and I go back to my drink trying to disguise the stress I am feeling. "I'll give you a ride back to your place once you're finished" he says munching on his food; "I need to go back to the dinner, I left my purse there" I say back, he hums yes to me and keeps eating quietly.

The mention of the dinner made me feel on the verge again. My lips start to quiver and my breath gets shallow, the anxiety coming back full force I lower my head and try to control my breathing; my vision too clouded with tear, I stand up and try to walk past Elliot who's trying to decipher my state, he grasps my wrist hardly but I pull it back harder "thanks Elliot, but I'd like to stay alone at the moment" I state lightly and smile at his worried figure "hell no, I am taking you home right now- I " I barely hear what he says next when I find myself landing on his upper body and blacking out.

I wake up in a room whiter than my liking; I instantly know where I am. I stand up ready to get a dozen of antidepressants. I find Elliot at the door hands in pocket, and May conversing with Janis and harry, May's little brother.

They instantly run to me worriedly "when did you wake up? Can you walk?" I stop in my tracks, afraid they'll ask too much questions "I just fainted I am not disabled May, I promise I am fine now" I assure her more with my eyes, she calms down and tries to feed them the lie "What happened to you back then, did Elliot hurt you? I swear to god if he has done that and has the guts to come here I'll break his stick" Janis whispers to me, my friend has a violent streak.

"No he's not what you think, I guess I was too overwhelmed with work and studies, I am just going to take a break, besides he helped me get here obviously"

"Sheryl, are you pregnant?" Harry who grew up so much since I've last seen him I saw him asks me out of the blue, and I hit him in the face "it would have been harder if I didn't miss you goof", talk about genes, leave it to Harry to ask such a thing at such situation, their blood line have no filter.

May and Janis approach me worriedly, and untangle Harry's lambs who stuck to me like second skin "I missed you beggar, hey since when you reached this height? Holy cow you're a giant now" I say to harry, Elliot walks closer "so we can hit it off now?" harry whistles in my ear and I hit him again where the sun don't shine

"Eww, I still remember you in diapers"

"Fuck and you are the rash impulsive Sheryl again, but I am happy you're okay"

"You brought it upon yourself dummy and thanks" I pat his head a little hard.

"I think you're okay now seeing you trying to strangle Mr. mismatched socks" Janis says hugging me lightly.

"I guess I'll get going now since you're fine Sheryl I-um see you around?" Elliot says a little uncomfortably, May pulls the others to the cafeteria to bring me a boosting coffee, once they are out of earshot, he asks me directly "was that really because of stress?" I am shocked at his question; I quickly avert my eyes to the wall "yeah what would be the reason?"

"I'll get going see you later" he adds but I don't miss the chance to thank him.

"thanks Elliot, you really saved my ass back at the dinner" he half laughs,"don't mention it, I-um it's good to see you good again" he stumbles around words, and it's so entertaining, "so see you later" I nod my head yes.

He twists on his converse shoes and walks away, I stand still till he disappears into a hall, I go instantly search for Dr. Hathaway, my father's childhood best friend and my annoying doctor who sets me always in blind dates with CEOs who use million forks for a meal.

When I reach his office, I go in without knocking "Jake" he stands up brightly "Sheryl, when is the last time you visited? This old men is really lonely" he closes his laptop and goes for a hug "Cmooon Jake I know you enjoy Emily's company as well" he laughs at my statement, I hug him back

"Your wits never end woman, anyway sit down and tell me why the heck you fainted in a restaurant!" I take a seat, and he orders a cup of water. I take a breath and tell him "Jake they're here, they visited the dinner I work at and I had an anxiety attack later, I could barely breathe, I couldn't face them. I just ran away, and blacked out eventually because my mind couldn't take it" he pulls his glasses to his face

"You should be more careful, if you ever cross them again call me" he goes on, "But you can't always be like this Sheryl; you're stronger than backing off every time they appear in your life. I know that night was hell for you, but think of it this way you shouldn't try to avoid it you should face it" my tears start flowing uncontrollably "in order to face it you should try to remember what happened that night, it's the only way we can get over it, I am tired of lying that it'll go away eventually, your memory loss makes your slight personality disorder even more prominent, you should do it for yourself if not for your people".

I don't think before I speak "What if I don't want to? I am afraid it'll hurt me even more what if I can't take it?" He shakes his head bitterly "That's not the small brave girl that bit her dog when he kept stealing candy bears from her" I wince at the memory, I really shouldn't have done that.

"you shouldn't waste your life because of some bastard, the worst case is you biting him back" his comment puts a smile on my face. I give him the stink eye and wipe my tears"you really shouldn't mention that anymore"

"My help isn't enough, and you shouldn't pretend you're okay, you should try to remember Sheryl and I am willing to help you dear, besides I am not giving you any medical drugs this time" I keep silent, he knows it's hard but keeps cheering me up "thanks Jake for always sticking there" I say to him sincerely, him and May stuck around me the most, and I appreciated it,

He responds smiling "you're my best man's daughter, I wish I could do more, oh I think I could do more, do you know the Alvarados?" he brushes his hands together, bad sign "I think I saw the name on some building" I barely remember where the building is "well, well, well the mother is looking for a woman for her son angel trust me he's a fine Spanish man, you instantly popped out in my mind dear you're the right one-" I quickly stop him "Jake don't even start, it always ends up with massive dramas, I am even dreaming of pregnant ex-girlfriends chasing me and I don't want to date. Besides, you should stop being like a mother from the 1800's trying to marry me off to keep our cows and farm"

"I will be sad if you don't go, I even arranged the date, don't be like this, I promise her, this is the last time" I know this is his way of taking care of me, and I couldn't say no to his expectant face "this is the last time Jake, I'm being serious" he claps his hands like a mad man and calls 'Mrs Alvarado' to confirm the date.

My mind drifts to what he said before, and wondered if I could end this maze.

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