Don’t Have Too Much Fun

Before I forget, I tell Opal to wait in the other room for me as I grab a little something for Meri. On top of one of my office's multiple bookshelves lies a small wooden chest out of view to anyone who doesn't know to look for it. Inside lies the three choose your own adventure magic novels, which I told my beloved Shield Maiden all about. They're pretty valuable, so I keep them out of sight. Each tome would take months to finish every possible route and outcome. For the time being, I only take one of them from the collection.

Luckily for Meri, it's from her favorite series, the illustrious Dungeon Sluts.

'Dungeon Sluts - The Greatest Adventurer' is a book with a simple enough premise that belies its true depth. The reader 'plays' a young up-and-coming adventurer who has an innate ability to attract women, and through their choices, he can end up going down an immense number of paths- all of them packed with sex. Will he become the titular greatest adventurer, or will he fall and become nothing more than a plaything for exotic, sexualized monsters? That's up to the reader to decide. No two readthroughs are the same, thanks to the sheer amount of situations and girls that the book has to offer.

Meri is going to love it.

With the valuable book in hand, I meet back up with Opal in the entrance hall and find everyone gathered to see me off beside Nikita, Zutiria, and Gwyn.

Sam and Meri are now dressed in their casual clothes for the day, chatting until they notice me approaching with the Doctor by my side. They're sitting at a table with Peri, and Cherry, who is still slightly upset over what happened during our morning romp.

Snow emerges from the stairs at just the right time, holding a rucksack in her arms. "Myaster, I've taken the liberty of packing for your trip. Personally, I don't think you have anything that would fit an audience with the Duke of Arrark himself, but I did the best with what was available, nyaa."

Before I can even try and take it from her, Opal places her hand on the shabby-looking sack and shakes her head. "It's as you say, Snow. My poor little Dear doesn't have anything nearly fancy enough, so I already bought and packed him some suitable clothes." This is news to me, and I look at her in protest only for Opal to shush me by placing her forefinger on my lips. Guess I just have to let her spoil me.

Snow tilts her head, "Where are they?"

"All the luggage is packed safely right here," Opal smiles, and with her wand, she taps on her breast several times. "Tucked tight in my Bra of Holding."

"Think you could fit me up there, Opal?" Sam licks her lips, eying Opal's sweater puppies from afar.

"Behave yourself, Samantha," Opal rolls her eyes.

"I don't think you need to worry yourself, Snow. Opal wouldn't take me anywhere without making sure I had everything I'd need."

"Good to know," Snow smiles before giving Opal a curious look. "But the job of a maid is to look after our Myaster's every need. I shall always worry myself over you."

"Of course," I cough and look away, trying to minimize my exposure to the teasing grin Opal gives me after hearing Snow's loving declaration. "How silly of me to forget..."

Meri blushes as she stares at the graceful maid. "Gods, she's good at this..."

Although I try to move on towards the girls at the table, Snow continues to speak. "I'm told you were the one who more or less raised my Myaster, Opal?"

"Yes, that's correct. Why?" Opal raises an eyebrow, staring Snow up and down.

"Just confirming that I have you to thank for shaping him into such a well-behaved little man..." Snow whispers, her yellow eyes glimmering with mischief.

Opal sees these eyes, and, recognizing a comrade at arms, she extends her hand in friendship to the Catfolk woman. "Well, I suppose I did what I could..." She says in an aloof manner, grinning as Snow takes her hand and shakes it.

Judging from the cruel looks on both of their faces, I have a feeling that the seeds of an incredibly dangerous friendship were just planted before my eyes... but at least Snow seems to have forgiven Opal for pestering her over becoming my lover.

"I imagine we'll only be gone for two days or so," Opal reminds the room as we approach the table. In a bossy, authoritative tone, she says, "You've each already gotten some last-minute loving by the sound of it, so keep the goodbyes brief, ladies."

Sam and Meri scoot apart from each other so that I can join them on their side of the wooden bench. Meri looks like she's going to miss me quite a bit, so I turn towards the adorable brunette and present her the book. Almost instantly, this wipes away the sadness and replaces it with a look of surprise and glee. "Master? Is... is this one of those magic books you were telling me about?"

"Yes, it is. I figured it was time to dig it out for you, especially after what an amazing job you did during the dungeon crawl. I should've gotten it to you faster, but-"

"You had a lot of stuff to juggle. It's ok! D-Don't worry about me. I'm just happy you even remembered!" Meri takes the book, flustered and overwhelmed. She then takes a closer "Oh, you didn't tell me it was a volume of Dungeon Sluts...!" The innocent girl's eyes twinkle, despite such a dirty subject matter.

Sam laughs and wraps her arm around my waist, pulling me close to the youthful Princess's body. "Being knee-deep in pussy ain't an excuse for forgetting to spoil us, Meri! Don't let this bastard get away with it."

"Knee-deep in literal pussy, hee-hee..." Peri giggles to herself.

"That was the joke, dummy!" Cherry sighs.

I lean in and give Her Highness a kiss on the lips, which puts a feisty smile on her face. "I think you're plenty spoiled enough."

"No such thing!" Sam teasingly punches me in the arm.

Meri hugs the lewd book to her shapely chest and hides her face behind it like it was her shield, meek as ever. "Are you gonna check in later tonight using Taskmaster? We're all going to miss you... and I think we're all eager to hear about everything that happens on your trip."

"Of course. I'll contact Sam sometime tonight, so don't be surprised when you suddenly hear my voice, Princess."

"Sounds good! I'm just itching to hear how it goes. Boss, you better put Gloomcrest through the wringer using all that business intimidation junk you do. This is our big shot to really turn the Guild around..." A fiery look of determination sparks within the Princess's eyes, inspiring me to do my best.

"I'll be doing everything that I can, Sam. Count on it."

"I-It's so crazy that the Duke of Arrark himself might actually help us. Wow..." Meri sighs, blissfully imagining what a world like that might look like. "It sure would be nice to actually go on adventures without having to worry about all of Dewhurst's criminals at our throats..."

"Opal is saying we might be able to go on the offensive after this. Rest up, girls, you're going to need it." I pull Sam and Meri to my sides, and they each hug me in turn. Both of them smile up at me, and I reward their love by giving each girl a long and passionate goodbye kiss. Sam goes a bit heavy on the tongue while Meri puts the book on the table to clutch onto my shirt.

"And what about us?" Peri asks, jumping onto the table and crawling across to get all up in my face.

"Peri, don't do that...!" Cherry jumps on herself to try and wrestle Peri back to her seat, but I interrupt her by reaching out and petting each of the kitties on the head. Together, they purr most delightfully after I start scratching their ears.

"You two have an essential job to take care of while I'm gone," I whisper at them in a low, teasing tone.

"Mnnn... anything, Myaster." Peri sighs hazily, her thin, striped tail fluttering behind her.

"It's simple, really. Just do anything Snow commands you to, without fail."

"Ack-" Cherry twitches, snapping out of her mid-pet trance, and crawls away out of fear. "I knew you were gonna say that!" Everyone gets a good laugh out of Cherry's distress, especially Snow.

"No worries, I promise to take good care of everyone in your absence..." Snow says, a mysterious twinkle in her eye. Cherry shivers at the thought.

"Come here, you..." I grab the cheeky maid by her furry wrist before she gets too far away, pulling Cherry into her farewell kiss. As usual, she's taken by surprise and kisses back with a slight reluctance at first. Soon, though, Cherry reciprocates it all the same.

I then move from the lips of one Catfolk to another, stealing my kiss from Peri before she can utter a word of jealousy. The lewd little kitten leans heavily into our locking lips, trying to seek out as much pleasure as she can from this one small exchange. When I pull away from her, Peri whines with disappointment but otherwise accepts that I have more pressing matters to attend to.

When I stand up from the table, Snow taps me on the back to gain my attention. "Zutiria is napping right now, Myaster, but she told me to give you a special goodbye kiss from the both of us. I'm sure you don't mind." The head maid wraps her arms around me before I can even react to it and leans forward to kiss me as if I were the woman. As I kiss Snow back, Sam wolf whistles, the kittens giggle, Meri blushes, and Opal watches on with a satisfied smile.

If I linger any longer, I will want to give everyone more affection, so I find it best to get going before that happens. As I head out the door, everyone gives me one more round of farewells.

"Bring back tons of gold and tons of new bitches!"

"Thank you so much for the book! I promise I'll defend everyone here with my shield, so, um... d-don't be worried about a thing!"

"I'll clean up lots when you're gone, so reward me when you come home, Myaster!"

"Every time you feel those bitemarks, y-you better remember me, damn it!"

"Enjoy yourself, Myaster, but don't do anything that'll warrant a stiff punishment upon your return..."

I give them a smile, wave, tell each girl I love them and close the door behind me. Opal crosses her arms and laughs as I approach her. "This Guild is getting livelier by the day, Dear. You're a fortunate man."

"Don't I know it?"

The older woman smiles, and with her wand, she summons her broom. While I know next to nothing about brooms, Opal's is sleek, black, and beautifully crafted. I'm sure this is a rather spendy model and speaks of its owner's tastes. "We'll see just how lively it can get from here on out, then."

The aged witch walks forward into the road leading from my Guild and beckons me closer by crooking her index finger, urging me to follow after her.