Six

     I laid there. Watching her as she dreams . She curled up into a little ball. Cradling herself in my arms. Her small body fit perfectly. My small bundle; I moved my hands all over her body. Spreading my warmth all over her skin. The slender frame of this woman melted under my touch. Her delicate shape quivering beneath my palms. I dragged my fingers across her back, dancing on her flesh with the tips of my fingers.

Bringing goosebumps to the surface . I couldn't help but admire her; she slept quietly; Peacefully. I didn't want to disturb her. But I couldn't help it. Shes the magnet and I was the metal.

    Being dragged, pulled, forced; towards this feeling. Towards this woman. I held her tightly , moving the bush of curls that fell from her scalp. Inhaling her aroma; that scent. A scent that was intoxicating. My nose and lips brushed against her neck as I took in a few deep breathes . She could feel the heat of my breathe against her throat. Our breathing began to sync with one another; hers rapid at first, small short breaths. Mine, the complete opposite. I took deep breaths, expanding my chest, until I began to exhale. Eventually she did the same, the rhythm brought us closer. And honestly I felt like one person.

                     One body

                     One heart

    It was strange, I cuddled before. I mean who hasn't. But the feeling changed into something else. To me, it was like this was my first time. But it wasn't, it was just my first time with HER. The feeling changed into an ache, a throbbing feeling inside my chest. The feeling scared me, but it made realize one thing.

                                        I wanted to lay her with her forever.

    The sun barely began to ascend, the light tried creeping in between the blinds. Small rays of sunlight shot in the room, somewhat illuminating the darkness . Her two cats, laid at the bottom of the bed between our legs. The black cat was my favorite, Slim. He seemed to do as he pleases, partially blind and a little bit over weight. He spread his fat self over both of my legs, I could feel the weight of his torso on my calves. I could hear a noise in the other room. Rachelle's mother leaving for work. I haven't slept much, I dosed off a few times getting caught in Rachelle's breathing. It was like trance, Her heartbeat was hypnotic.

                                            What was I going to do?

                        My face would soon be all over the news if it wasn't already.

                                                Wanted for murder.

                                                What was I thinking?

    I slowly moved my arm from her waist. Slim just rolls over as I slip from underneath the covers. Searching for my clothes. They were sort of mixed in with some of hers, so it took a while. Finding my shorts at first, then my shirt. I had to leave, not only was I in danger and the danger would follow me wherever I went . It would affect everyone, including Rachelle and her mother. Rachelle's phone went off constantly, vibrating consecutively. A few names appeared on the screen. Some were unfamiliar, one caught my eye.

                                            Her Ex

        I didn't open the message, I just seen the name. Some messages are better left unread.

    Their communication, only told me one thing. She still cared, feelings still lingered. I couldn't blame her, he was her first boyfriend, her first love. He introduced her to intimacy . That's something you'll never forget, something you'll never get over. The contents of the message didn't matter to me, I placed a kiss on her cheek before taking my leave.

I realized, I couldn't never be him, I could never be what he was to her, and that hurt my feelings

I cracked opened Rachelle's door to sneak into the hallway bathroom. Still in the blood stained clothes from last night, I began to stare at myself in the mirror.

             Could I be going crazy? What if I was? What if I did kill them?

    I couldn't allow her to be hurt, to be killed like my parents. To be Butchered like an animal.

On my way to the bathroom , I notice the pictures that laced the ways like tapestry's

    Baby Rachelle

Her puffy cheeks, with that enormous head. Her smile, still the same. Her eyes slightly slanted as she smiled while looking at the camera. Those innocent doe eyes.

The beauty in innocence, the beauty of frailty

     What is the beauty in delicacy? Is it the frailty? Is it the sensitivity? What makes something so breakable, so shattering that it protrudes beauty ? Is it the beauty in things? Do we want to capture this beauty? Do we wish to hold on to this beauty? Protect this beauty? The essence of the allure is what creates that illusion, the illusion of delicacy. A trance we fall under, a hypnotizing paramour. Entranced by a jewel we try to grasp, for it to only shatter in our hands.

    I didn't want to break her, I didn't want to feel her crumble beneath my grasp, I wanted her to be seen, I wanted her to shine, I wanted to stare at this diamond. Polish it;

        But you see. She isn't an item, she isn't something that can be obtained. Desire exist in the things that cannot be acquired. It may sound a bit contradicting but hear me out, it's the beauty we try to capture. We want to be apart of it, the beauty allows us to realize how ugly we really are. It changes us, forces us to want to do better. We want to taste that beauty; lick the chocolate from the strawberries, to taste the bubbly champagne in that morning orange juice. That feeling. Constricting, like hands forcefully around your throat. Struggling to catch a breath, struggling to grasp that first taste of one another. To only realize, how long we've been suffocating, how long we've been holding our breath. To only realize how long we've been alone.

    I've must of been in here for an hr, just staring at myself. I begin to hear commotion outside. I leave the bathroom, taking one last look at myself before flipping the light switch. One last look at my face before it's consumed in darkness. The last of the light reflected from eyes as I closed the door. I walked back to the room to find Rachelle gone. I took a look out the window , trying to follow the noise that came from the driveway. Rachelle and another figure emerged from the garage. I could see her face cringe, her expression, anger. The man grabbed ahold of her arm, some part of me wanted to go down there. Some part of me wanted to say something. But I ignored it, he was here for a reason; & she was the reason for that.

    I grabbed my phone from the bed. Moving the sheets and blankets to reveal its location. I had no shoes, just the bloody socks I arrived in. I slowly made my way up stairs, I could hear Rachelle yelling back in forth with her ex boyfriend.

Leave

                                                Just leave

I put my hand on the handle, placing my head closest to the door. Ease dropping as you would.

you'll never change

                                            your just the same bitch

                                    and you'll always be the same bitch

My hands squeezed the door knob, I thought it would began to crush underneath my grip. But I stopped, if she wanted me to intervene. I wouldn't be ease dropping. If she didn't want him her, he wouldn't be here. I back up slowly, heading towards the patio door. I took one last look at the front entrance leading to Rachelle's driveway, i took ahold of the wooden fence, lifting myself on top. I even caught a glimpse of her walking back inside the house. Her tearful eyes was the last thing I seen as I went flying over the enclosure .