Chapter 2: After Guilt

"I was just not scared to die that day."

Noah's smile faded as Arkin and Hailey both looked at Ally. They were all stunned by her words.

"Just that day," Ally had to emphasize.

"I don't know what to feel with what you said." Hailey tilted her head a little. "Pity or ouch, because you just confirmed that you didn't really care for us before?"

Ally's smile remained. "Let's be real, I don't know anyone of you before, except for Ella and Paul. I wasn't exactly aiming to save all of you, but I was also not doing things for myself back then. I guess, it really was just the challenged me doing every task."

"Well then, thank God, you were challenged." Arkin laughed. "That game wouldn't even start if you weren't challenged."

"That wasn't a game, stupid," Hailey reminded.

"Tsk. Still, we wouldn't have moved and died the first minute if she didn't answer that code." Arkin took a sip of his own drink. "I don't know you back then either, Allysa. But I'm grateful that you were there."

From Arkin, Noah and Ally looked at Hailey at the same time, waiting for her reaction. But before she could open her lips, Arkin spoke again.

"She was the only person who wasn't panicking, okay?" he explained. "I thought, fuck, this person's gonna be the final girl. And I wasn't wrong."

"Vince was really a great help that day," Ally reminded them. "Everybody was. Each one played a great role."

"Yeah," Noah nodded. "We owe it to those who are not here."

"Kingsley even went on welding guns, oh my God." Hailey had to blink repeatedly, trying hard so her tears will not fall.

"Are you going to cry again?" Arkin sighed and pulled his girlfriend closer.

"Jerk! That's Kingsley, my best friend!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Arkin let Hailey lean on his shoulder and cry. Looking at Noah and Ally, he mouthed, "this one hasn't moved on yet."

"How about you, Allysa?" Noah asked, looking again at the lady who immediately answered.

"I don't want to."

Noah's forehead creased, slightly confused with the answer he received. "Don't you dream about it?"

"I do," Ally revealed. "It scares me now that I think that that could've been my last day at St. Louie, in this world."

"Are you having trouble forgetting?" Arkin asked.

"No. I don't really want to drop the memories of that day." Ally heaved a deep breath. "It was also on that day, that I… I belonged."

Noah found himself staring at Ally's eyes again because of what she said. The corners of lips unconsciously lifted to form. "You will always belong in this group, Allysa. The others might not be here but, on that day, they hoped to survive because you were there."

"He's right!" Hailey seconded, done crying. She wiped her cheeks before looking straight at Ally's eyes. "We may be two different sides of a coin but if I will experience that bloody day again, I hope you're there."

"Babe, I don't wanna experience that day again," Arkin quickly said. "I love my remaining leg."

"You stupid jerk! Just who the hell told you to cut your leg?"

"If I didn't cut my leg, I won't have a girlfriend now."

Hailey fell silent.

"Look at Noah. He still has both legs so he doesn't have a girlfriend," Arkin added then laughed at his own joke.

Also chuckling, Noah shook his head until he felt his seatmate looking seriously at him. "W-Why?"

"You two looked okay when you introduced her to me," Ally could not help but say.

"We had a fight on the way home."

"And the rest is history," Arkin chimed in. "Noah didn't even ask me to drink with him. You're too much of a good boy, dude."

"Why?"

Noah looked at Ally again when he heard her question.

"What happened to the both of you?"

"Nice. Allysa's curious. I'm curious too." Arkin pushed his wheelchair closer to the table, ready to hear whatever tea lies behind his cousin's breakup.

"If I was the one who asked, you would call me out for gossiping," Hailey complained. "But I wanna know the other side of the story too, So, what is it, Noah Reyes?"

Noah swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, finding himself at the center of attention at their table. His lower lip twitched as he looked back at the person next to him. He swallowed again. "D-Don't we have a graduation ceremony to attend?"

"Oh, shit! Arkin, what time is it?!"

"Why me?!"

"Just look at the time!"

"The program's starting in less than ten minutes. Let's go."

*****

"Sison, Hannah B."

The four clapped in glee as they watched the only reason why they came back inside St. Louie University receive her well-earned diploma. They waited for her to get down the stage and congratulated her.

"Congratulations, Hannah!"

"Thank you, Hailey, Arkin, Noah, and Ally. If it weren't for you, guys, I won't be able to finish college."

"Hannah, you don't have to thank us. No biggie."

"That is a biggie, Hailey," Hannah sincerely said. "When we lost Harold, I thought I'll never be able to continue my studies."

Hailey's smile suddenly disappeared. She felt her eyes sting again and was at a loss for words.

"It's really a blessing that you thought of supporting my studies," Hanna added. "And now, that I've graduated, maybe you could tell me why?

The four could only look at each other.

*****

"It's just a thorn out of our chests," Hailey said with a sad smile as she faced the open field of St. Louie University. The graduation ceremony being held inside the gymnasium was not yet over, but they chose to go outside. "I can't accept Hannah's thank you, because I actually did it for myself — so I won't feel guilty anymore. I can't even tell her that his brother died because of me."

"I made the choice, Hailey," Arkin reminded her.

"It was my life in exchange for Harold's, right?"

"Hailey," Noah calmly called. He took a step towards her but Hailey suddenly walked away, not looking back. Arkin automatically followed her in his wheelchair.

"With the way she cares for everyone around her, I had an idea that Hailey will have a hard time taking everything in," Ally said as her eyes followed the two. "But I didn't think it will last even after two years."

"How about you?" Noah asked, pulling her attention.

"How about me?"

"That day felt like an eternity with everything that happened, Allysa. And you spent it with me," he said in the most serious voice. "You may have told everyone otherwise, but on that day, I knew right from the start that you don't want to die."

Ally's eyes widened a bit, surprised by what she heard. Her lips parted, but she did not speak.

"How are you, Allysa?"

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