Time passed as by

I was busy preparing coffee in the kitchen while Daniel sat on the stool at the kitchen counter. He was probably tired. I hoped the caffeine boost could sustain him until he got home. Then something occurred to me. "Did you fly back because of me?" I already blurted it out before I could think about it. It was a little bit presumptuous of me to assume that he came back home simply because of me. As he said earlier, he was here because of his company.

He started scratching his nape. "Partly, yes. I got worried that you're crying last night, and I had no idea why." I was speechless. I felt like I was ruining his life because, of what to call it, selfishness, stupidity, cowardliness, or my fear of being alone again. There I finally said it.

I was a broken mess. First, I was afraid to go on a relationship for fear of being left behind again. Now that I was in a relationship, I fear of being alone. It felt like it was happening all over again when Harry and Mia left me. Now, Daniel and Gemma were both moving away. Although it was different, it did not make the fear go or lessen.

"These last weeks, I realized how hard it was to be away from you. I missed you," Daniel said again on the other side of the counter.

"You know I missed you too." I did. He played a crucial part in my life. An important person whose presence became a constant source of vigor while his absence built a big void. Yet, the question remained, could I love him more than a love for a friend?

"Sorry, I need to ask again. What is with you and Nathan?" He asked with a little apprehension. "I know you dated, but is there something going on."

"Nothing." I hastily answered. That was the truth. What happened the other night was a mistake, wondering why the sudden question. Did Nathan mention anything to him? There was the possibility since they were working together. I should have thought about that. I knew I should have confessed earlier. Now, he must think I was keeping something from him.

"We went out that once, but I believe we had nothing in common." Staring at the kettle, waiting for it to boil.

"Nathan told me that he saw you at the hotel bar drinking alone." Cold sweats formed behind my neck. I felt a chill took over. Hence, Nathan did talk to him about me. What was Nathan's game? What else did he share with Daniel?

"I couldn't sleep, so I went down at the bar," I explained, not wanting to elaborate. If I tell him now, it would seem that I was guilty. Nathan would win. I could not let that happen.

"He said that you seemed out of it. He found you drunk. I was thankful that he was there to assist you." Looking to my eyes as if he would find the answer in their depths. I let out a deep breath hearing his next words. It meant that Nathan did not tell him everything, but he should not have mentioned anything at all.

The boiling water interrupted us, breaking the silence. Daniel took the kettle from me and fixed us both a coffee. He moved back to the living room with the two mugs in hand, with me following behind him.

"Is there something wrong? You know, I'm a good listener," he kindly said as he took a seat on the couch, tapping the portion beside him. I could tell that he was talking about something else. The issue about Nathan was long gone.

Following behind him, I contemplated if I was ready to relate to him my past. The time we had spent together had built a strong friendship between us. I might not be in love with him, but I could trust him. He did not say anything as he waited for me to decide on my response. With a sigh, I resigned to recount the life I left behind.

"That night, after my dinner with James and Gemma, I couldn't stop thinking of my brother." This story was true. Although I opted to omit some details, I debated with my mind. Small steps, I reminded myself.

"What about it? You mentioned that you have an older brother once, but you never talked about him," he clarified. I could feel Daniel beside me as I thought of my life. He neither spoke again nor touched me. He patiently waited as I started talking again.

"Talking about him is quite painful... You see… if I don't talk about it, it felt like it never happened..." I started. After a brief pause, I continued, "A fire accident engulfed our family home more than two years ago due to some electrical problem. Harry and I were home that day while Mom was at work. Harry, my brother, was badly hurt after rescuing me when I got trap in the attic. The doctors diagnosed him with a third-degree burn throughout his body, broken bones, and possible internal injuries. His condition was critical and required several surgeries."

I had to pause. "It would be a miracle if Harry survived the operations. Mom was so happy because, after five days, he finally woke up." I could clearly remember everything as if it was just yesterday. I did that to him.

"It's ok. I'm here." I felt Daniel hugging me tightly. My whole body was shaking, but I finally managed to tell the story without crying.

"It was short-lived. After a few hours, Harry had a massive stroke, and he died instantly. You see, he was not just my brother, but my best friend too, and losing him was very hard on me." Looking at Daniel suddenly reminded me of Harry. His kind eyes held so much sincerity that I could not help but be comforted.

His warm arms wrapped around me protectively, making me feel secure and safe. He listened, steadily stroking my arms for reassurance. I never thought it would be that easy, but I did it.

"After the accident, I, kind of, lost my will to live. According to Mom, I was living like a ghost in a shell. My world stopped spinning, and I was dwelling in the darkness. I dropped out of school, stopped seeing my friends, and lost all communication with my best friend, Mia." He did not say anything but enveloped my small frame in his warmth, which gave me the strength to continue.

"Mia was Harry's girlfriend. I heard from my mom that she tried to end her life, luckily her family was able to save her. When I finally saw Mia, we got to talk about her plan. She wanted to end our friendship and cut all communications. She figured that the distance from all her past might help her to move on. This sort of gave me the idea to come here, so I could also move on."

"One night, I heard my mom crying in her room. Somehow, it got to me. She was also grieving about losing his son, and sort of, losing me too. I realized that my mom also needs me. I wanted to help her, but I didn't know how to do that. The next day, I packed my things and moved out here."

I was amazed that my face was still dry after telling him all that. Maybe time and moving out here did help. It was also possible that Daniel's presence and friendship were what made me felt not so broken anymore.

"I thought that I was getting better at this moving-on plan. However, the other night, the reality hit me when I realized that Gemma would be getting married. Just like Mia, she would be starting her own life while I am stuck, still with no direction."

"It just, kind of, scared me a little, thinking of being alone again. However, I realized that it was not the same. I was not losing Gemma, but I was also gaining a new family. James and their baby. I believe I am feeling much better already. Talking about it with you lifted a huge weight off my shoulder."

"Maybe because now you know that you're not losing Gemma, and you will always have me." Daniel fondly concluded.

"Probably, you're right," I answered him, hugging him back with a smile on my face. I truly felt like things were changing for the better, and I believe it had to do with Daniel. After that, it was easy to tell him more stories about my relationship with my brother and my friendship with Mia.

"Thank you, Scarlet, for trusting me enough to share this with me." He spoke so softly. It felt like a dream as I snuggled more closely in his embrace.

"Thanks for listening." I was grateful for his presence in my life. I just wished I could return the favor. Although I knew that there were more issues that we still had to discuss for our relationship to work, I was not ready yet. I needed time to sort those on my own and figured out where to go from there.

We stayed like that for a long time, lost in our thoughts, locked in our embrace, comforted and contented until time passed us by and tiredness took over, ending up sleeping in each others' arms.