"I object!" Huashe's voice rising in distress, so loudly that we all turned to peer at him. When he exclaimed again, I almost flinched. "You heard me. I. Object!"
For a moment, I was too dumbstruck to make any respond as if there was a sudden crash of lightning. Heavens. Was this another scene coming out from a telenovela?
"W-what?" at least, I stammered.
"You two cannot be together. I object!" Huashe wrinkled his nose disparagingly.
I tried to process what had just happened. About thirty seconds ago, Jie Moshu had just asked for my hand in marriage, which Baba agreed to, despite my not-yet-uttered disapproval. As I hardly got the chance to digest everything, to my surprise, another troublemaker had loomed up—Huashe was against it. My mind replayed a scene where the second male lead burst into the church of the male lead and female lead's wedding ceremony. The moment was just right when the male lead about to put the ring on the female lead's hand, as the second male lead's voice echoed, "I objectttt!!!"
Seriously, one Jie Moshu was enough, why did Huashe also go along with his lunatic footsteps?
I rubbed my temples. They throbbed, the pain shooting up behind my eyes. Well, to be honest, did anyone expect me to believe that sly snake had feelings for me? Love at first sight, perhaps? I scoffed. It was all gibberish as hell. Being his master, I could just use my authority to whack him off back to the sea. It would really help if my head wasn't spinning.
I didn't know what was wrong with everyone, but this was just random. So random. I was like a thousand years iron tree that miraculously blooming with flowers...
Jie Moshu looked unperturbed but his grasp on my hand grew tighter. His voice was all sophisticated, "Why would you be objecting our marriage?"
"Because I don't like you," Huashe answered tightly.
Oh, God. Was it rivalry that I detected? Somehow this goaded me even more.
Earlier it was Baba, now the electric circuit was between Jie Moshu and Huashe. Great. Just great.
"And who are you?" Baba question took him by surprise.
Huashe gave a sudden snort of laughter. "I thought that mortal had introduced me earlier, no?" I knew he meant 'that mortal' was me, but I expected him to be a bit surreptitious. He couldn't just go blurting around 'I'm the great mythical beast, bow to me', right?
He clicked his tongue in exasperation, "Seems like you haven't felt my godly presence yet. The name is Huashe. The mythi—"
Well. Damn. He just had the skill for giving me heart attack, huh?
I banged the table again, cutting him before he overwhelmed Baba with anything related to magical things. Baba darted his gaze on me. There was a big question mark in his expression; he was waiting for my answer.
"He's a friend, Baba!" I said forcefully, "Just now. Just recently acquainted friend!"
I thought there was a possibility for me to murder Huashe, here and now.
Baba looked absolutely stunned in this revelation.
"You got two guys courting you?" Baba seemed stupefied. "In six months?"
I stared back at Baba, my head swirling.
Was he assuming—
Was he implying that I was a charmer, seducer, smooth talker? Me, a charmer?! This was ridiculous, outrageous even. Somewhere, deep down inside my state of shock, I could feel a tiny flicker of anger rising up to my throat. I had to put everything back to order. I had to explain this misunderstanding. Supposedly, I couldn't just go on saying this: 'Oh, Huashe and I are master-familiar relationship. Baba say hi to my snake pet'.
I looked around, trying to get my wits.
"It's not like what you think," I said at last. "Huashe and I are just friends."
"Oh, now I get it!" Baba smacked his hands. He then leaned forward to mean, whispered, "You've rejected him for Mr. Jie, right? Baba get it, child. There's nothing to be ashamed of."
I looked at him dumbly, and blinking hard. How did he come up with such conclusion? Wasn't Baba supposed to be angry? I didn't really get the situation I was in. He was—thrilled?
Baba's reaction made me too dumbfounded to speak.
"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Jie—I mean, son-in-law," Baba cleared his throat. "Now that my daughter has chosen you, of course, I'll choose you as well. That is the most important part. I believe that you can give my daughter happiness."
Wait... did he just called Jie Moshu—son-in-law? Ha-happiness?
"Hello!" Huashe snapped, clearly wanted all of us notice his presence. "I still object the two of them getting married. You, human cannot let this guy marry your stupid daughter. Just cannot!"
"It's not your decision to make." Jie Moshu replied confidently.
I stared at Jie Moshu, bemused.
Then, I turned to give Huashe a furious eye roll, as I said in my head: 'What the hell are you doing?' Huashe immediately shot me back an urgent eye roll on his own, as he retorted, 'Just get along with it human! You cannot marry a celestial-being.'
I also knew about that, and I didn't want to marry Jie Moshu, either. If it wasn't because we had a deal—to cure my pulmonary edema—I wouldn't be this transfixed. But Huashe now acted the role of a jealous ex-boyfriend, no doubts that Baba could think like that earlier. He was supposed to read the situation carefully, or having a more human-like conversation rather than keep on blurting some Sky Realm terms.
"In any way," Huashe crossed his arms, "this guy here is not a person, he's a—"
"A good person, Baba!" I interrupted desperately, "Jie Moshu is indeed a good person."
Deep down in my brain, I could hear my inner voice calling out. 'What are you doing? Huayu, just what on earth are you doing?!'
But I wasn't listening. I didn't even want to listen. Somehow I cared to much not to speak out the truth that two guys here weren't as human as they appeared to be. A normal human-being like Baba, if he knew Jie Moshu's real identity, it would probably send him into a frenzy—like what I had almost become. Huashe probably need a course. A course on 'How To Not Talk About Gods'.
"Yes, dear. I can see that," Baba said with a relaxed laugh. "So, son-in-law, you were saying that your father will come, didn't you?"
"Yes," Jie Moshu nodded, then he turned at me with a smile. "He's probably here already, I've just received his text."
Who was coming? His father? Jie Moshu had a father? And he already knew how to use a hand phone in a day? Okay, I was starting to have a panic here. Another wooziness engulfed me. He cannot be serious... Except everyone here had been acting way too serious.
I squeezed Jie Moshu's arm, muttered in agitation. "You're mad! What are you up to? This isn't what we agreed upon."
"Didn't you agree for me to live on the same house with you?" He looked at me with that warm smile of his, and my stomach swooped. "Other than marriage, what would you think it's going to be? I don't do the keeping mistress thing. Or do you want to play that?"
"Crazy!" I pinched his arm unconsciously, but he didn't wince, which made me upset even more.
I closed my eyes, tried to remain calm. I let myself sank my back to the chair. It has really been a long day. A long, terrible nightmare. I just wanted this to be over.
Baba was trying so hard not to laugh, as though he was excited to the sound of whisperings and murmurings I had with Jie Moshu earlier. He couldn't stop himself smiling from ear to ear. His expression was all ah-it's-good-to-be-young-again. He must have regarded us like some quarrelsome little lovers.
Why did I get the feeling of being cornered? Jie Moshu was a mad, deluded crazy person. I couldn't believe I accepted his proposal at the first place. Now, not even Baba could help. And Huashe made everything far worse, I'd wished he just zipped that mouth of his—as I thought of that, Huashe really couldn't open his mouth, he only sounded "Mhmm... Mhmm...!"
And now, I felt almost faint.
That was it! It was obviously the strangest idea that I could come up with. The only way for me to escape from this situation. I would just pretend to be ill or something. I didn't want to take up any of this "wedding-proposal" matter; couldn't think of anything way better than this.
Standing up from my chair, I pretended to go somewhere. Took a few steps before I accidentally stumbled forward and grabbing the table's edge. Faking all my expression as looking all sick as possible. I could feel everyone's gaze were on me. Good.
"Huayu, child, are you alright?" There was a hint of worry in Baba's voice. Good. Very good. This was just going according to my plan.
Okay, Huayu. Time for the encore. This was just going to be a little hurt. Anything for my escape.
As I was aiming to hit my face on the floor, I felt a hand slid around my waist. Despite feeling shock, I shut my eyes tightly. No, I had to act I already fainted. Dimly, I noticed Jie Moshu caught me in his arms. My senses roared to life as my eyes closed. I felt his chest lift from his breathing on the side of my face. My skin began tingling all over as I absorbed the tension from his muscles in his arm and his body heat.
The blood rushing to my cheeks as they were flushing. My stomach clenched with fresh embarrassment. Although, I was mad at him, I kind of wanted to see his expression when I was in his arms. My head started to fantasize his attractive face looking all worried about me—
"She was fine just now. How come she suddenly fainted?" Baba's voice sounded skeptical, but I could feel a hint of worry in between.
Heavens. He didn't suspect I was faking this, did he? It was almost as if he could see right through me. I used to be so good at that back in the days skipped routine swimming practices with Coach Gao. Was my acting had been declining that bad?
"Huayu was probably overwhelmed about our wedding. She must've been too shocked from happiness, that she fainted, especially after she had attempted to..." Jie Moshu explained politely, carefully hinting to "trying to kill myself".
Baba cried out "ah!", I could feel he was nodding.
When I just thought my plan had succeeded, that I managed to escape from meeting any of my "fake" future in-laws, Jie Moshu murmured in my ear. "Take your time resting, wife. So, when you're awake, you'll have a clear mind for deciding what kind of wedding you wanted to have. We have a lot to prepare."
My insides felt like they were going to explode. Jie Moshu knew! He knew I was pretending. Without even looking, I could feel him smirking.
Arrghhh! This sly Jie Moshu!!! My mouth was twitching from the urge to yell it out at him.
But nothing came out, the words only echoed on my mind.