Love is Blind (1)

At some point, the images vanished as if they never existed.

I realized with a jolt. Given what I had seen earlier, that should have been my past life's memories. Or someone could have some sort of explanation to me.

Why did hot tears mist my vision, why did my nose get all snotty right now?

More questions rippled through my mind, louder and sharper than before. Everything that happened slammed into my stomach like a red-hot sword. Every bit of memory twisted the invisible blade in that much deeper to my heart, making me want to vomit from the phantom pain.

Another fragmented thoughts and memories played through my mind.

In the middle of my sniffling, again I fell into someplace that was supposed to be my box of memories. I shuffled through the darkroom at a slow, yet painful pace. I could feel the agony radiating inside me as I had felt earlier. I knew that if I moved forward, the emotion would intensify. But I was dying to know what I had missed—all that Jie Moshu had done for me.

Sighing, I opened the door that appeared in front of me, and I stepped inside. It was a peaceful and calm garden.

My eyes scanned the garden quickly, looking for another me and Jie Moshu. Apart from lemon trees and rosebushes, I saw lands of greens. I tensed, then started to have my legs running, searching for them. What could it be this time? Picturing myself dying in the arms of Jie Moshu? How many times had he seen me losing my life in front of him?

It took me a few seconds before I saw her.

The other me, sitting across from Jie Moshu like they were having a pleasant time. There was a cherry blossom tree above them. Petals fell like snowflakes, dancing and swirling until they touched the verdant grass or the stone table between the two people. My eyes traveled to the table. A hot bowl filled with dark brownish liquid, probably a medicine was set on it.

The girl looked nothing like the other fragment from before. Aside from her clothing still in an ancient simple robe and her long hair was nicely combed, I found there was something indifferent about her eyes. They had the unusual shade of grey as though they were clouded by a mist.

Jie Moshu looked at her, but her gaze was somewhere else. It made me convinced that the girl was blind.

Finally, Jie Moshu broke the silence. "Time for your medicine," Jie Moshu told her as he got a spoonful of medicine, ready to feed her whenever she opened her mouth. He even blew it to let the temperature down.

The girl frowned, hastily shook her head. "It's going to be bitter."

Jie Moshu didn't say anything, but his mouth twitched up into something that almost looked like a smile. Well, at least he found her attitude funny.

Hearing no answers from Jie Moshu, the girl ventured, "Really. I'm an expert in drinking medicine, so I can tell by the smell."

As if Jie Moshu had sensed that she was reluctant, he decided to play his card.

He let out a breath. "But I have specifically put honey while brewing this. Shouldn't you taste it first before making your judgment?"

She tilted her head, her gaze still didn't meet his. "Mr. Jie, actually..." she whispered suddenly, probably frightened the man in front of her might roiled by her words. "I heard some maidens in the teahouse chattering about how to make a bitter medicine taste sweet."

"Is there really a way to do so?" Jie Moshu questioned softly. "Living up until now, this is my first time hearing such a thing."

"They said… " She sighed, blushing as her hand gestured to her cheek. "If a man kisses on a woman that he likes, then anything that tastes bitter will immediately become sweet."

Jie Moshu choked back to a laugh. "Really? Young women these days are really bold."

"T-that's what those people on the teahouse rambled about." The girl strained into an awkward laugh. "B-but Mr. Jie, I'm not saying this for you to do that with me," she quickly added. "You're my benefactor, I'm only telling you to do this with a woman you like. Who knows when she's sick and you have to make her feel better by this method."

Her hand directionlessly fumbled for the bowl. Another second, Jie Moshu took her hands.

"Let me help you," he said softly, through the sunlight shining in his dark eyes.

He had taken the bowl in his hand as though he was about to feed the girl spoonfuls of soup. Carefully, he blew on the medicine before sending each spoon to her mouth. As the girl drank mouthful by mouthful of medicine fed by Jie Moshu, her brow furrowed even deeper. Her face was extremely bitter to its taste.

"I take it that you still feel bitter even if I'd added honey in it," he said smiling indulgently.

"You've put honey, then why it's still—"

He suddenly had pressed his lips on her cheeks. His sudden action was like an explosion of color in the girl's pale face. Her eyes widened as she gulped to catch her breath.

My stomach dropped like a stone. Jie Moshu… kissed her, on the cheeks. I closed my eyes, trying to shut what I saw.

Looking at all of this was bringing me back. I was remembering my body was numb at 45 degrees. I was remembering the century-egg-like pill pushed its way to my mouth. I was remembering Jie Moshu landed the same method to wash away the bitterness. My whole body was remembering, responding. God, I hadn't realized. I was the reason why he did that back then.

Two tiny tears were leaking out of the corners of my eyes. My hands clamping my mouth, trying to keep myself composed. I didn't know how to react to this situation. Remembering how the past few weeks had gone with Jie Moshu, I felt a rush of familiar feelings attacking me, like flapping ravens. Guilty. Inadequate. Touched.

When Jie Moshu finally pulled away from the girl, she seemed stunned by the turn of events. Clearing her throat, she attempted to move away from where she was. It was mostly because she couldn't see that her anxious little actions had all caught in his eyes.

"How was it?"

Unconsciously, she moistened her lips. She gave him a flustered look. "A-about what?"

A broad smile crept to his face as he spoke, "The honey. Is this the same as what you heard from those maidens?"

"Really, Mr. Jie…" she said, trying hard not to reveal her embarrassment. "You shouldn't do this… It isn't proper for us to be in this manner."

"Didn't you say that I should do this with the woman I like?"

"You know what I mean," the girl said indignantly. "I'm born blind, cast away from my family. If it wasn't for you that saved me, I wouldn't have survived until today. I haven't had the chance to repay you yet."

Jie Moshu put away the bowl as he leaned closer to the girl, looking at her as if he was admiring every part of her as one beautiful woman.

"Then, you can marry me," his voice was firm as if he had meant every one of his words. "I'm already your benefactor. If I become your husband, I can take care of you for the rest of my life."

She responded brittlely than she expected. I thought I could hear her mind wondering why he was doing this. And the words came out before she could form them. "Why are you being so kind to me, Mr. Jie? You've saved me when I barely even know you."

Although Jie Moshu tried to appear righteously nonchalant, I could see the yearning in his gaze. The same gaze as he saw me from the first time we met. A welling emotion rose over me, and the tears I had been holding streamed down on my cheeks.

"Because I've loved you," his voice sent sharp pain to my heart. "And I always will."

For a minute I was taken to a small room with a single canopy bed, but clean and cozy. Everything was decorated in shades of red, from the draping curtains to the pitcher and ewer, reminding me oddly of an old wedding decoration. The bed was made up with soft red silk that had clearly been sewn by loving hands.

The girl sat on the bed. An old woman around her fifties was helping the girl dressed in her wedding garments, starting from the red veil to her shoes. Gathered up the inner garments to the outer ones, meticulously slid them to the girl's cream skin. Finished, she assisted the girl to sit in front of the dressing table.

"Miss, congratulations on your wedding day," said the old woman while lightly putting the expensive look rouge to the girl's cheeks. "I've seen the way Mr. Jie treated you since the first time both of you came to our village. Marriage is only a matter of time. Seeing how he arranged this whole expensive betrothal gift without receiving any dowry in return, he really is deeply in love with you."

For a moment I saw blissfulness cross the girl's face, raw and vivid. "I thanked for Aunt Zhou's blessings," she said.

"Hey, don't treat me like an outsider," she said, combing the girl's long hair. "Today I'll be taking the place of your parents at the wedding. From this day onwards, you can call me Mother Zhou."

A small smile curled on the girl's lips at the old woman's words. Her grey eyes shone with gratitude. "Thank you again, M-mother Zhou."

The old woman nodded, putting her hand on her shoulder. "Now, that's more like it."

"Ah!" She exclaimed, "I have to go get the preparations ready. Our beautiful bride just needs to sit here patiently. I'll come back to assist you in the marriage ceremony."

Just as the old woman about to go out, the door burst open and a group of armed men stormed inside.

"What is this?"