Thirteen

"Josh, you're so funny!" Marie laughs boisterously, walking toward us with her new boyfriend on her arm.

The whole group gathered together for lunch today, even Tristan, Jade, and Liam. Of course, I'm not loving it today.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

Everywhere I walk, couples are holding hands, kissing, hugging. They all are free to do whatever they want, and here I am, sitting next to Austin, not even being able to tell anyone we're together.

Marie and Josh sit down together next to Sammy. Tristan rolls his eyes and quietly sticks to his meal at the end of the table. I feel a little bad for him, but he kind of brought it on himself.

"You ready for tomorrow, babe?" Josh says, stuck to Marie's side with an arm over her shoulder. She giggles.

"Of course, babe. I wouldn't miss it for the world," she says, kissing him. While all of us were pretty uncomfortable, I could feel Tristan's disgruntled aura getting stronger by the second.

Eventually, while they kiss, he gets up and goes to the bathroom. Austin and I look at each other, both feeling weird about Josh being here.

Meanwhile, Jade and Liam sit next to the two of us, looking at Jade's phone and laughing, not paying any mind to anyone else.

The only person who wasn't in this crazy love heap was Sammy. I feel a lot worse for her than I do for Tristan.

"Hey, Sammy. Did you finish that piece you were working on last week?" I ask, trying to get her out of her sad, quiet shell. She peers up, and feigns a smile.

"Yeah, I can show you on Monday." She goes right back to picking at her food, clearly not in the mood to be in school, let alone at this table.

Tristan returns to Marie and Josh continuing to canoodle.

"I love you, Joshy," she coos. They couldn't be physically closer to each other. It makes me a little nauseous.

"Love you too, sweetkins," he coos back.

Austin also rolls his eyes. At this point, I could tell Tristan was pissed off, but he did a very good job of trying to stay out of trouble.

Not really wanting to be at the circus that is our table, I let Austin know I'll be right back and ask Sammy to come with me. She hesitantly gets up and follows me out to the hallway.

We stand in an empty alcove, halls barren.

"How are you holding up? Anything I can do to help?" I ask her. She purses her lips.

"Seeing all these couples around while trying to stay friends with the guy who rejected me less than a week ago is a little overwhelming. I'm sure you understand. You know, with me around." I furrow my eyebrows.

"Yeah, totally," I lie. "You saw right through me, that's why I've been upset." She nods.

"I still really like Austin, you know. I don't really understand why he doesn't like me, and I'm hurt that he didn't even grace me with an explanation," she sighs. I frown and rub her arm to comfort her.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I know for a fact that someone will truly love you for who you are, and will be with you romantically. I just... don't think Austin is that person."

She nods, sadly. "I know. Thanks. And thank you for talking to me."

She walks away, heading back to the cafeteria. I can't help but feel guilt spread through my body, feeling like I betrayed her. She's hurting, and all I did was take her crush.

I walk back, a bit after she started walking away. But before I can make it back to the lunch room, I'm stopped by Tristan.

"Hey, is there something going on with you? You've been acting weird. So has Austin. All day today, and the other day," he asks, genuinely curious.

My heart races, but I simply say, "Nope. Just single and sad."

He looks at me, not really believing what I said. "Aight. Fair enough."

He continues walking, presumably just loitering to stay away from Marie and Josh's make-out session. I head back in, letting the shitty day continue onward.

***

Austin and I decided not to hang out after school yesterday, not wanting to arouse any more suspicion.

Now that it's Valentine's Day, it's officially been one week since Austin and I kissed for the first time. It's felt like so much longer, as our efforts to conceal our relationship have been so tiring.

Now, to top it all off, we may not even spend time together on what's supposed to be the romance holiday. I should be grateful to even be with him, but I still feel shitty.

I sit in my room for most of the morning, doodling at my desk. My artistic ideas have been floundering, and I've had a hard time drawing anything worthwhile. Eventually, I just give up and look through Instagram on my phone.

My timeline goes as follows: couple, couple, dog, couple, couple, couple. Everyone and their mom are posting about Valentine's day, and it makes me even more upset.

My mom enters my room. She looks around and notices that it's messier than usual.

"Dylan, didn't I tell you to clean up this mess days ago?" she lectures me, hands on her hips. I groan.

"I'll do it now," I tell her, a little peeved. She nods in satisfaction and leaves, closing the door behind her.

With nothing better to do, I organize. I pick up the clothes sitting on my floor, put away my clean laundry that's been in a pile on the ground, and gather all the cups and water bottles I've left lying around. I don't mind living in organized clutter, it makes sense to me. But my mom says otherwise.

As I'm finishing up my various chores, I see my phone lit up on my bed. I walk over and pick it up to see that Austin is calling me. My heart flutters.

"Hey," I answer.

I can almost hear him smiling through the phone. "What's up?"

I sit down on my bed as I talk to him. "Just cleaning my room," I sigh.

"Jennifer Peters rage?" he laughs.

"You know it."

"Well, I know this week has kind of sucked. Mind going somewhere with me today?" he asks. I blush.

"Yeah, of course. When?" I ask, trying to contain my excitement.

"Whenever you're ready. Now or later," he says. I bounce up and start pulling out drawers to get nicer clothes.

"How about a half an hour?" I ask, sifting through my clothes.

"See you soon. I can drive," he says kindly.

"See you soon."

We hang up, and I toss my phone so I can get changed.

I usually just wear t-shirts and hoodies. Today, I wanted to look good, though. I search my lowest drawer for my brown dress pants. Church has some benefits. If it didn't exist, I wouldn't have any nice clothes.

I find my favorite sweater in my closet. It's a striped orange and beige turtleneck, which I don't wear very often. My parents never really liked it on me, thinking it was a little too "girly." Tough luck for them.

To finish off the outfit, I put on black socks and my dark brown church shoes.

Once I exit my room, my mom looks at me from her seat on the couch, questioning with her eyes.

"Do you have a date today?" she jokes. I shake my head.

"My friends and I are going to see a movie," I lie.

"You're awful dressed up for a movie," she says, a little suspicious.

"I wanted to try out a new outfit," I shrug. She purses her lips.

"Well, I hope you and your friends have fun. Make sure to keep me updated," she says. I nod.

With the amount of lying I'm doing, I'm starting to feel like a criminal.

I head out the door and walk over to Austin's house as inconspicuously as possible. Rather than knocking, I text him to let him know I'm out by his car. I tap my foot nervously.

When he exits out of the front door, my heart flutters. Austin doesn't usually dress as casually as me on a regular day, but he's even more dressed up than usual. It's cute. The blue button down shirt along with black dress pants, with black dress shoes to match, suits him well.

He simply glows when he walks over to me.

"You ready?" he asks, not wanting to make a scene in front of his house. I nod, smiling. I hop in his passenger seat and he starts driving. To where? No clue.

"Where are we going exactly?" I ask, playfully. He smiles slyly.

"You'll have to wait and see." I grin.

We sing along to the radio happily, and I forget that I'm even on my way to a date. The experience is so much different than when I took Sammy out.

Austin parks as we arrive at a hiking trail. I look at him curiously, and he smiles, letting me know I'll find out what's happening soon enough.

We exit the car, and Austin pops open the trunk. He hands me a basket. I understand what's happening a little bit more now.

We walk side by side, heading up the trail. It's still brisk outside, so there aren't many people around. But it's not biting cold like it had been earlier in the month. Neither of us even wore jackets today.

He leads me onward, eventually going through a spot with no path. We trek over leaves and branches, out of sight from the original trail.

Then, we get there. I knew instantly where our destination was when I saw it. A gorgeous patch of grass next to a little pond. Austin takes the basket from my hand and reaches in to grab a blanket. He spreads it across the ground, leaving space for us to sit down. He gets on it first, patting next to him for me to join.

I happily take a seat next to him, and lean on his shoulder. He puts his arm around me in an attempt to make me a little warmer.

"I know it's not the best season to do this in, but I hope it's still okay."

I peer up at him, smiling. "It's perfect. Thank you." I kiss him.

He rubs my back. "You look cute." I can feel my face grow bright red.

I laugh a little, nervous. He smiles.

In an attempt to act a little less weird, I say, "You look super handsome too."

His eyes smile with him. I can tell that he's never been told anything like that before. Growing up with only a brother and father can do that to you.

We sit, watching the movement of the pond. Minnows and hopping bugs work their way around, thawing out from the harsh winter.

Austin eventually opens the basket and takes out a few sandwiches, a big bag of chips, and some sodas.

"You know me too well," I grin.

"The way to your heart is food. Obviously," he laughs. I lean on him a little, playfully.

He hands me one of the sandwiches and I notice it's my favorite kind. "You're so thoughtful. Thank you," I smile. He beams.

"I'd hope that I know you at least a little bit after 17 years," he jokes, unwrapping his own sandwich.

"Who are you? Do I know you?" I quip. He pushes me playfully.

We eat happily together. The sandwich was perfect, and the time we spent was even better. We reminisce back and forth about different things, and laugh the whole time.

When we finish eating, we cuddle up together again.

"I do have one more thing," he says, handing me a closed envelope. I smirk.

I open it up and reveal a tacky Valentine's day card. He grins, still holding his arm around me. I look at him and laugh.

I read it: "I'm wild about you." It has two giraffes on it.

I open it up to see a whole side of the card taken up by writing. I look up at him, trying to convey my appreciation with just my face.

I don't read it out loud, rather taking it in personally.

"Dylan,

I know everything has been a little strange since I told you how I felt. I just want you to know that I will always be here for you, by your side, if you're feeling down. We'll work through this together, as hard as it may be. And as soon as you say the word, I'll come out alongside you.

I'm so glad that I can say that you and I are together, and I really hope you're as happy as I am.

I love you to the moon and back <3

Austin."

Tears well up in my eyes a little bit, but I do my best to conceal it. "Thank you. Thank you for everything today," I say, hugging him tight.

He strokes my back. "You're my boyfriend. I wanted to make sure your first date and Valentine's Day were special." My heart stops momentarily and I pull away.

"Boyfriend?" I ask, beaming.

He smiles nervously and asks, "Yeah, is that okay?"

I hold his head with both hands and plant a kiss on his mouth. "Of course."

The wind picks up and makes me shiver. He pulls me back into his arms, getting me as close to his torso as humanly possible. He rests his cheek on my hair and we simply hold each other for a while. I close my eyes and just let myself feel his warmth next to me.