Twenty-One

With the beginning of March, hopefully, comes the beginning of a somewhat better week. In the very least, my parents are out all day visiting friends in Massachusetts, leaving me to a little bit of peace and quiet.

I get myself out of bed, surprisingly earlier than usual. I make sure to let my dog out and feed him before I do anything else.

I brew myself a bit of coffee. I don't really drink it that often, but I know that I have a lot of work to do today. I'll need that extra boost.

"Ollie, are you a good boy?" I say in a silly voice. He pants happily as I pet him all over, eventually flopping himself on the ground to get some belly rubs.

Although I do enjoy cooking, my lack of motivation led me to getting a bowl of cereal instead.

Once I will myself to get up, I head into the living room. Usually I'll do my homework in my own room, get distracted, and fall asleep. But since my parents are out, I can actually go somewhere else.

I reach into my bag and lay out my binders, notebooks, and planner on the coffee table. The first thing that hits me, of course, is that I have another math quiz happening on Monday. I panic for a moment, thinking about how screwed I am without Austin's help. But then I remember that I can very easily ask.

I really hate asking for help. I can admit that I'm a little bit stubborn, and I try to make it a point that I can do everything by myself. Beside the point, I feel bad. When it comes to Austin, especially. He takes time out of his already hectic day to do these things for me, and it feels as though I owe him way too much.

On the other hand, I love to see him.

I decide to give in. I know that I won't get anywhere with this studying without him.

"What are you up to today?" I message him.

After a few minutes, he responds.

"Not too much. A little bit of homework, but that's it really."

"I'm sorry if this is annoying, but can you help me study for a math quiz?" I text, feeling anxious.

I watch the little speech bubble flash its little dots, expecting the worst. Yeah, Dylan. You are annoying. Let's break up.

Once he responds, of course, that's dispelled.

"Don't apologize, you know I'm happy to help. I'll be over soon."

My heart flies. My dependable boyfriend wouldn't turn me down. I know that, and yet I still feel guilt.

I spend some time working on a history worksheet in the meantime. Before too long, I hear a familiar tap on my front door.

As fast as I can, nearly falling down the stairs, I head to the front door. Opening it up, Austin smiles and enters. As soon as the door closes, he engulfs me in a huge hug.

"I haven't been able to do this in a while, I hope you don't mind," he says softly, still holding on tight. I melt in his arms, feeling as though I'm on top of the world.

"Do you even know what you're saying?" I ask, laughing at him. He holds me tighter in response.

He hums happily and lets me go. "Alright, let's do some studying."

The two of us head upstairs and plant ourselves where my things are splayed out. We sit right next to each other on the couch.

Studying with my boyfriend is a bit tricky. On one hand, he's so smart and can definitely help me pass my quiz. On the other hand, of course, he's my boyfriend. The fact that we're alone and so close to one another makes me want to just stop everything and cuddle for hours.

Alas.

"Okay, what do you want to start with?" he asks, getting right down to business. I flip through my math binder and try to recall what would be on this quiz.

"Well, there's not really any more worksheets for me to do, but I should probably practice radicals more. It still doesn't quite make sense," I sigh, pulling out my already-finished sheets.

Austin takes the worksheets and scans them over. "Is it just radicals?"

I nod. "The unit test will have more, but this is just on radicals."

He thinks for a moment. "Do you have lined paper?"

I reach over to my binder and flip to the back to reveal all of my blank lined paper. I hand the whole binder to him and he takes out a few sheets, then uses the binder as a solid surface to write on. He takes a pen from his pocket and starts to write down radical equations.

In pen, no mistakes. I swear, this boy is a computer. Or AI. Or something like that.

I watch as he neatly writes out the numbers. It's almost mesmerizing, in the nerdiest way possible. Sometimes I can't believe how smart he is. How does one human brain know so much?

"Okay. I want you to try this first page with me, to make sure everything makes sense. Then, you can do the second page on your own," he smiles, handing me the binder and papers. I look into his eyes, amazed.

I begin to work out the first equation. As soon as I get confused, he jumps in to hint me in the right direction. In no time, things actually started to make sense. By the end of the page, I actually did them right, no help needed.

Austin rubs my back and says, "You're doing great." I smile.

I work through the second page of work that he made for me. I actually get through them pretty quickly. He checks them over, and to my surprise, they were all correct.

If you were my teacher, I'd actually pass math," I smirk. He laughs.

"I'll give Miller a run for her money."

I put my binder back on the coffee table, feeling prepared, for once in my academic life. I lean back and look into Austin's beautiful, cerulean eyes. My heart thumps.

Still seated pretty close to me, he leans closer and kisses me on the cheek multiple times. I wrap my right arm around him as he does this, trying to get even closer, as if that was possible.

He continues his barrage of kisses, traveling to my jawline. He softly plants each one along my jaw in a straight line, heading towards my ear.

Gently, he whispers, "I love you, so, so much." Starting from my heart, I feel a great warmth spread through me. I close my eyes, simply feeling his warm breath on my skin.

"I can't even begin to tell you how much you mean to me, Aus," I whisper back. He smiles and uses my neck to hide his blushing face.

"God, you're too cute," he says, speech muffled against my skin. I giggle, feeling flattered.

Without moving his head, he starts to kiss my neck, ever-so gently. That's one sensation I can say I've never felt. Believe me when I tell you that I was in heaven.

I simply close my eyes, allowing myself to feel his lips touching my skin. I breathe in, the smell and feel of him consuming me.

I needed him to feel what I felt. Although I never wanted him to stop kissing my neck, I knew that he deserved all the affection in the world.

He releases momentarily, gazing into my eyes. I use that as an opportunity to playfully push him backwards on the couch, making him lay down. He smiles wide as I lay on him, our bellies touching.

"I hope I'm not crushing you," I laugh. He shakes his head.

"You feel like a weighted blanket," he smiles.

Cuddling up against him, I make my way to his face, trying my best to kiss him everywhere I can reach. He giggles, which is the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

I make sure to kiss his neck like he kissed mine. Although his chin is a little stubbly, it doesn't bother me at all.

I nestle my head onto his clavicle and lay with him in silence. Our breathing slowly starts to sync as we hold each other close.

"If someone told me I'd be cuddled up on the couch with my best friend like this a year ago, I wouldn't have believed you," he coos, kissing me on the head.

"Me neither, man," I sigh contently.

My dog walks over to us and licks Austin's face. He laughs and turns his head away, grimacing.

"Don't steal my man, Ollie," I laugh.

Austin smirks and strokes my hair. "He is pretty cute. But so are you." I roll my eyes.

I raise my head up so I can kiss Austin on the lips. As I release, though, I get a glimpse of all the Jesus paraphernalia sitting on our fireplace and hanging on our wall. My heart sinks a bit.

Even if we can have this one opportunity to spend the day together, who's to say we'll ever be able to again? I hate that so many teens get to be open and happy with their partners, but I'm stuck hiding it and fearing my parents.

I try to forget about that and hold onto Austin as tightly as I can.

"One day, we can do this all we want, whenever," Austin says, as if reading my mind. I perk up and look at him, confused.

"Did you hear my thoughts?" I ask.

He laughs. "I saw the stinky look on your face when you saw the mantle."

"I know. It just sucks now. And I hate that I can't do anything about it."

He kisses me one more time and says, "We'll do what we can. I know this sucks. But at least we have each other."

I rest my head against his chest again and slowly find myself drifting off into sleep.