Chapter Twenty Five

A week passed by so quickly, and the wedding day has finally arrived.

Gina and I spent only a few more days with Dan, cause he had to go home, earlier. By the end of his stay, Gina was in love with him.

The two of us were now, at her place, getting dressed. The same dress I was to wear, Anna ordered for Gina. We were now, in the middle of operation 'get into that dress'.

Nicholas was helping Gina with her dress, and I was sitting on the couch, holding some paper and pen, and waiting for my turn to be zipped. Anna offered to get us a professional makeup artist as well as a hairdresser, but I assured her that I was skilled enough for the makeup, and that Gina will do out hair. And, by Gina will do our hair, I meant she will use a curler. I did our makeup and the only thing that was left, besides the zipping of our dresses, was my maid of honor speech. I was struggling with it for the past couple of days.

How do you write such a speech? I've known Anna for two weeks now. I tried to spend the last couple of weeks getting to know her, but still.

"You've got writer's block?" Gina turned around, after he finished.

"Ok, Jessica, your turn?" Nicholas told me.

I stood up from the couch and walked over to him. He went behind me and messed with the zipper, "Inhale."

"Why did she choose me for this?" I whined.

"Because, she has no friends, remember?"

"I know."

Nicholas finished with my zipper, and sat on the couch, wiping the sweat of his forehead, "Man, I'm glad I'm not a girl."

Anna arranged a car to pick us up. As we were driving, I pulled out that blank piece of paper out of my purse and started writing.

"Hello, everyone. Welcome. Today is the day we celebrate the union…"

"Boring. Try something funny," Gina interrupted me, as she was looking over and reading what I was writing.

"I know I'm hilarious, but only in the stressful situations."

"Isn't talking in front of a hundred people, stressful enough?" She looked at me, trying to make a point.

"350," I corrected her.

"350 people? Is she crazy?!"

"Don't look at me."

"Fine. Still, it proves my point. Have that number in mind, and write away, because we'll be arriving soon."

The wedding was being held at a hotel outside of town, near the beach. The ceremony would be done outside, in the hotel's garden, and then the celebration would move inside, in the big ballroom.

We arrived in about ten minutes, and I had nothing written. I was panicking and sweating. Sweating profusely.

Ok, I'll just wing it. I'll look at them, and I'll wing it. I mean how embarrassing can it be?

We walked in and the place was huge. The garden was enormous. There were flowers everywhere and white chairs filled the place. Even though the guests were still arriving, the sitting area was already half full.

I saw the groom, Michael, and approached him. He looked good in a two-piece suit and a tie.

"You look handsome, Michael?"

"Hey Jessica, you've made it?" He hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"Yup, Gina went to find a place to seat before the ceremony begins. We need rest before our standing up exercise. How are you? Cold feet?"

He laughed, "No. Warmer than ever. Anna told me she chose you for the maid of honor."

"Yeah, horrible choice. You know I hate public speaking, so why didn't you talk her out of it," I playfully punched his chest.

"I think it's time for you to do things you're scared off."

Oh, if he only knew.

"Are we good?"

"Yeah we are good." I kissed him. On the lips. I figured he owed me that. He just smiled, "Ok, I need to find Gina, see you later."

I left him to talk to a bunch of men that gathered around him, I assumed his groomsmen.

"You think you can pick a cute one out, maybe?"

I sat next to Gina, who found an empty chair, in the front row, "I think I need a little rest from men. Besides, I think we should not be sitting here, "I turned to see the name on the chair," Mrs. Swiss we'll probably be arriving soon."

The ceremony was beautiful. While Anna and Michael were saying their 'I do's', I turned around to Gina who was standing behind me, to see her subtly wipe a tear.

"Really?" I whispered sweetly.

"Oh, shut up," she whispered back.

As I turned my head away from her, I looked at the crowd, and my heart skipped a beat.

Zachary sitting in the back. He wasn't looking at me at the moment, but there is no way he didn't notice me on the platform, standing behind the bride.

Uh-oh. My hands started to treble. He was wearing a suit and looked like he walked out of a magazine shot. My breath quickened, and I slowly turned my head to Gina, and whispered through the teeth, "Zachary is here."

"What, where!" she whispered back.

"Third row from the back. Be subtle about it."

And I gotta give it to her. She was subtle. Usually she wasn't. She only saw pictures of Zach, the ones from our holiday.

"Damn, he's fine."

"Not…helping… What is he doing here?"

"Who knows, Jessica?"

While Gina and I had a whispering conversation, Anna and Michael kissed, and finished the ceremony with the big crowd cheering.

That meant, I had to turn to the crowd and cheer, too. Which resulted in locking eyes with Zachary's.

My heart skipped, more than one bit.

Oh no. Ok, play cool.

The newlyweds walked down, form the isle to through the cheering crowd, and walked out our sights.

There was an older man, in a suit, who ushered us into the big ballroom, and we all spread out, in pursuit of our seats. The decorations in the ballroom were wedding goals. The lighting was soft and sort of pink. There were flowers and candles, everywhere.

Gina and I walked next to each other, and kept on going from one table to another, and after good 5 minutes, we finally found our table.

"This dress is to freaking tight, I felt like it's going to tear any moment, and my ass will be on display for everyone," Gina commented louder then she should have, because three elder people at hour table, looked at us disapprovingly.

I was laughing when I noticed the looks, so I mouthed, "Sorry," to them.

Stuck up rich people.

Michael and Anna, walked in, and the guests started clapping, again.

"Lots of clapping here," Gina commented, and I nudged her, while smiling.

They took their place at the center of dance floor and did their first dance to the song "Can't help falling in love'', by Elvis. Such a classic.

While they were dancing, my heart kept telling me to try and find Zach, but my mind was interfering and protesting.

They finished their dance, and we all sat down. The feasting can now begin.

I rubbed my hands, and looked at Gina, "Let's fill in our bellies, cause that's why we're here."

She chuckled.

Once our bellies were satisfied, I heard Michael's voice and," Ladies and gentlemen," and I looked up from my plate.

��You better swallow that fast, because I feel a pending speech of yours."

Shit. I forgot about that. I think I'm gonna throw up now.

Gina saw panic in my eyes and put a hand on the back of my neck, and rubbed, "You'll do great. And if it all fails now that you did something right?"

"What?" I looked at her, panicking even more.

"You would have made me laugh," she chuckled, and I kicked her under the table.

"Ouch," she almost screamed, and started rubbing her foot with a big smile on her face.

I loved her.

"...and now, I want to introduce someone awfully close to me, and to Anna. Please, give a warm welcome to my good friend Jessica."

Everyone clapped, and I slowly stood up, smiling awkwardly.

"Someone gives her a mic," Michael continued.

As I was waiting for the mic, I remembered I had a paper for my speech, but then I also remembered I had nothing written on it.

Ok, improv it is then. Here we go.

The guy walked over to me and handed me the mic.

"Is it turned on?" I asked the guy, and he nodded.

I cleared my throat. Don't stutter, don't stutter. My legs were starting to shake, and I felt Gina's hand subtly grabbing the back of my legs, to steady them. I turned to the crowd.

"Um," not a great start Jessica, don't "um" them, "Hi, everyone. Welcome the party," I smiled.

"So, a lot of you here know me, and I don't know a lot of you here as well, but I'm Jessica…," I started scanning the place. I found it much less nerve wrecking to look at the different people, "I'm Michael's old friend, and… ex-girlfriend," I hear some guy in the back whistle, " Thank you in the back."

My eyes landed on Zach. On his beautiful face, and his beautiful blues eyes, and that blonde hair that was slicked back in a ponytail. Why did he slick back those curls? I love those curls. He was looking at me, and there was something in his eyes. I couldn't quite recognize what it was. He took a sip from his glass. Looked like he was drinking whiskey. He never broke eye contact with me. The fire inside me was ignited, and I started getting more nervous, now that I noticed he was looking at me and listening to everything I said.

Calm down, you've got this. Pretend like he is not here.

"So, I've known Michael for years, way too long. He was my first love and I know some of you are probably expecting me to say something embarrassing about him, but I'm not a scorned girlfriend, well, not anymore, " someone laughed, "so the only things I have to say about him, are good things. He was there with me…., through everything. He is one of the safest and kindest people I have ever known. So, Anna….," I turned to her, "you have the most amazing person by your side. He will be there for you, always. Whatever you need, he will do. He will protect you, from everyone, even himself if needed. And most importantly, he will always let you win in a fight. He can't be bothered to argue," Michael laughed, "But, I'm sure you already know that," then I looked back at all the people sitting at their tables, "Anna, I met two weeks ago. But, in those two weeks I've gotten to know her, and….I should probably be saying this to Anna, but Michael," I looked at him, "She is way too good for you, and if you hurt her, I will kill you."

I continued, "No, seriously. I have never met a person like her. She radiates this warm energy and has such a positive impact on everyone she meets. She is a way of sunshine. Ready to help you whenever you need, and wants everyone to get along, which is a bit too innocent, concerning the world we live in, but that's why I adore her. I admire her optimistic way of handling things. I mean if he hadn't married her, I would have."

Everyone laughed.

"Seriously, who wouldn't want that kind of person by their side. So, here you have two amazing people who have found each other. I couldn't tell you when they have found each other, because I was in a coma, so don't really have the knowledge of that…."

There was silence, and I noticed people looking at each other.

Shit. It was going so well, but I diverted somehow. I need to go back to talking about them, and finish this off.

"Um, I'm digressing, sorry, anyway…. This is a power couple. So, let us raise our glasses, "I picked up my orange juice and raised the glass," To Michael and Anna, a power to be reckoned with!"

Everyone repeated what I said, and I sat down, feeling relief.

"Great job," Gina patted me on the shoulder, "Could have gone without the coma statement, but…"

"Yeah, I know. Don't know how it got there."

"Well, at least you got that over with. Now, we can have fun and dance."

The DJ started playing fast beat music, and we headed to the dance floor. The floor filled up so soon, and everyone was jumping and dancing like crazy. Anna, who was now in a shorter wedding dress, joined Gina and me.

"Hi, girls, may I join you? "she hugged me, "Thank you for the amazing speech. You nailed it."

"Hey, it's your wedding, of course you can," Gina answered her.

"You're more than welcome. All I said was the truth," I hugged her back.

We danced for about four or five songs, and then the DJ changed the beat into a slow one.

Anna was now dancing with her husband, and I turned to Gina," You want to lead or I?"

"I'll lead," but before she could put her hands around me, I heard Zach's voice behind her.

"May I have this one?"

Gina turned around, "That's up to her. Jessica?"

I looked at Gina, undecisive. I wanted to dance with him, I wanted to be close to him. But did he deserve it?

NO.

"No, you may not. Besides, imagine if people see you dancing with a child. The blasphemy!" I was being melodramatic.

"Jessica," he said sternly, like a parent reprimanding a child.

"I want to dance with my best friend. So, if you have nothing else to say, I'll ask you to live us."

His eyes were full of anger and, pain. Pain? Why in the world would he be hurt? Has no one ever rejected him a dance before?

He turned around and walked a few steps forwards then stopped and turned around. In the meantime, Gina and I started to dance, when I heard him speak to me, again.

"It was my fault," his voice was shaky.

I gestured him that I couldn't hear him. The music was loud.

"It was my fault," he yelled at me.

You know how in the movies, there is that defining moment of climax. Where, everything that has culminated was finally being released, and out in the open. That was this moment, for me. The DJ stopped the music, and everyone was known looking at us. I stopped dancing and looked at him quizzically.

"What are you talking about?"

"The coma…. It was my fault, "he said almost crying.

I felt sick. What is he on about?

"What are you talking about?" I repeated sternly.

"I was drunk," he begun, "That day of your operation. I wasn't on call, and I… I was, actually at my bachelor party," he laughed sadly.

Tom's confession was flooding my head. That was the night. The night he caught Lydia and Sam. My eyes started to water, and my body was trembling. I could not control myself.

"I found out some stuff, and I…. I got a call from the hospital. It… it was an emergency. Tom was with me, so he drove me off to the hospital, with me in the meantime trying to sober up… It, I never did this, Jessica I…" he was fully crying now.

"Why didn't Jenkins do the operation, Zach?" I was now crying as well.

"He was losing it. Lately his hands were shaking, but he was too stubborn to admit it. I guess someone reported him, and the comity came that night and relieved him. They called me since I was to replace him."

"And you failed to mention you were drunk?" I yelled at him.

"I…. I thought I could do it. I can do these operations with my eyes closed."

"Clearly," I interrupted him sarcastically.

"I did so many of those kinds of operations, Jessica. I…. everything was going well, and then… I blinked for one second, and my hand moved an inch more, and hit…," he stopped. Like if he didn't say it, then it didn't happen.

I saw Gina going towards him, fuming with angry, but I stopped her.

"So… let me get this straight. You expect me to forgive you for this?" I looked at him dumbfound.

He opened his mouth to answer me, but I stepped towards him, and continued, "You stole two years of my life. TWO YEARS. I trusted Jenkins, you… My life was in your hands and you… robbed me of two years of my life. And yes I know there are people who were in a coma longer, or are still in one, but this is my life and YOU FUCKED IT UP! I went under, with my boyfriend beside me, with my family still happy, with my prom night ahead, with my 18th birthday ahead of me, and woke up with what? WITH WHAT???? The boy I thought I love getting married, "I looked at Michael and Anna, who had sad expressions plastered on their faces, " Congrats again to you two," then turned to Michael, with my eyes red from crying, and my face even more red from the fury I felt for Zach, " my parents divorced. I was suddenly 18 years old. I grew up, without knowing it. Without, having any say in it. Why? BECAUSE OF YOUR EGO?! "

"Jessica….," the only thing he knew to say.

"Is that why you volunteered to help me out?" I had another realization, "THE GUILT?! Is that the reason why you paid for everything, why you entertained every whim I had, is that the reason?! BECAUSE YOU FELT GUILTY?! DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT THE THINGS YOU DID WOULD MAKE UP FOR YOU MISTAKE?!"

"I'm human Jessica, I make mistakes!!!" He screamed at me.

"THESE ARE EXSPENSIVE MISTAKES, ZACHARY! Your mistake could have cost me my life!!! Just out of curiosity, did you pay off the people in the OR, the nurses and all to keep quiet. They must have noticed your state?"

He didn't say anything.

My head was hurting, and my heart was bleeding.

I took a deep breath, "Do you know what the sad thing is. I just thought about it and realized that your mistake is not the thing that is hurting the most. Do you want to know what hurts more than this?"

"Jessica…."

Yes, that's my name. Stop repeating it.

"DO….YOU… WANT… TO… KNOW…?" I repeated every word.

"What?" He said, his voice shaking.

"You did a worse thing to me. You made me fall in love with you…. That, I will never forgive you," I said barely. I felt my body was shutting down. I turned around and started walking away. I needed air. I need to be alone. I needed to stop thinking.

"Jessica, sweety," I heard Gina walk after me, but I just looked at her, and she knew she shouldn't follow me.

I walked out and started crying even harder. I thought I was going to choke in my tears. I couldn't control my body. My mind was repeating his monologue, over, and over. I started to hit my head, trying to make his words go away.

But it was all in vain. I spotted that car that drove us here. The driver was sitting on a bench, having a smoke.

I needed to get away from here. I approached him, "Hi, sir, may I borrow your car?"

The driver looked at me, and saw the state I was in. Red face from crying, mascara running down my face, and my body shaking, "Are you ok, miss, can I help you?"

"No, I'm not ok. And yes, you can help me if you let me borrow your car, please?"

"I don't think you should be driving in that state?"

"Please, give me the keys. I won't dive fast; I just need to get away?"

He unwillingly stretched his arm, and gave me the keys, "Please, drive safe."

Grabbing the keys and thanking him, I walked over to the car, and started the engine.

I need to leave, I need to leave, I need to leave.

I adjusted the rearview mirror and saw Zachary in the mirror. I saw him, run to me, yelling my name.

No.

I hit the gas and drove off.

Since we were remotely out of town, I was driving on an empty road. It was hot, so I opened the window to feel the wind on my face.

I was driving only a couple of minutes when I heard my phone ring. I had put it in my purse which I grabbed when I stormed of. I looked at the purse, on the passenger's seat. I grabbed it and return to look at the road. No one in front of me, no one behind me. With one hand on the steering wheel, and other in the bag, trying to find the phone. When I did, I pulled it out, and looked at the display.

Zachary.

Nope, not answering him. I turned off the phone and tossed it, it is landing on the purse.

It's been two years since I drove a car the last time. The last time, being it the year when I passed my driving lessons. So, just in case, I put the other hand, on the steering wheel.

I turned on the radio.

"…. Where are you now, Was it all in my fantasy, Where are you now, Were you only imaginary, Where are you now…."

My head was pulsating, but the wind on my face was helping. Cold, and refreshing. My eyes were dry, and I felt like I didn't have any tears left to cry. I looked in the rearview mirror again. Eyes, red and puffy. I whipped some of the smudged mascara I had, off my cheeks.

My thoughts were going back to Zach, but I shook my head and forced myself to listen to the music. To the words. For a second, I closed my eyes, just to concentrate on the music, feeling the wind.

The next thing I felt, was a sudden kick, and as I opened my eyes, I saw, in a slow motion, that I was crushing into a car in front of me. Where did this car come from? My head and my body flew forward and hit the air bag.

My ears were buzzing, and I heard someone yelling my name in the distance.

"Jessica…. Jessica….!"

My vision was blurry, and ears were buzzing. The familiar voice was getting louder.

"Jessica!"

My eyes were closing, and I couldn't fight the urge. I was tired. So tired, and I needed sleep.

I felt a warm touch on my face. Someone's hand. Then, I heard the panicked voice, again, "Hi, this is Doctor Zachary Sanders, I need an ambulance, the closest one, to this location, ASAP…"

My eyes closed, and before the voice faded away, I heard, "Jessica, look at me, stay awake! Open your eyes…"

"Open your eyes!" I heard him again.

I did.

He was standing so close to me, out lips touching almost. His warm body on me. I felt something hard pressing onto my back. A door. We were in a hallway. That hallway in Bali.

I looked at him. I still tasted the alcohol on my lips, from his lips.

"How did that feel?" He whispered.

"Good, too good."

"Do you want to feel it again?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust me?"

Before, I answered, I felt my feet get wet. I lowered my eyes and saw water. It was feeling in, and by know it was up to my knees, the level rising so fast. I was getting cold. I panicked and looked at Zach.

"Do you trust me?" He just repeated. Not being phased by the water.

Then I felt something in my throat and started coughing. I looked to my left and right. There was fire and smoke everywhere. I started coughing even more.

"Do you trust me?!" He said more firmly.

I looked at him, "Yes."

"Kiss me, then?"

I was too weak to talk. To ask him, how is me kissing him, going to save us from this. From whatever this was.

So, I closed my eyes, trying to savor this moment, and I kissed him, like it was the last thing I will ever do.

The next time I opened my eyes, there were bright lights blinding me. I felt my body moving left and right. I was on some bed, and the bed was moving. I heard Zach's voice again.

"Take her to the OR, I'll be there in a second."

I felt him holding my left hand. So warm. I didn't want to let go, but he pulled away from me, "No, don't…" I croaked, and closed my eyes, with the sound of a lot of voices, fading in the back.

Great. Here we go again.