The Change

ROSE'S P.O.V. 

I didn't stop moving. Even when people gave me the most bizarre stares, I just kept going. They took one good look at my face and decided not to mess with me. Maybe because I looked pathetic. Maybe because I was pissed. Or both. Only when I made it a distance away from everyone and was to my lonesome, I let myself go. A deep inhale and slow exhale. The moment was exhilarating, to say the least. Did that just happen? The stinging sensation from my hand brought me back to my senses. As I looked at how red my palm became in minutes, I couldn't focus on the pain, but what led to my hand feeling this sensation. 

I did it. 

I stood up for myself. I think. I was so angry at that moment that I had to do something about it. Instead of holding it in, I let it all out. I took action instead of letting things go. Never did I imagine I could put my hands on someone, let alone hit them. I slapped that girl. A good hard smack to the face. I won't lie, I don't know what would have happened if Mallik hadn't grabbed her, but I'm certain of one thing. I wouldn't have taken anything standing down. And the best part? I don't feel bad for hitting her. She had it coming to her. Throwing water on me was one thing, but calling me out of my name and humiliating me in front of others at the same time was unforgivable. Childish even. 

I thought back to what I said before I left. Goddess, I really cursed her out. I cursed them all in a way. A part of me felt bad for yelling at Malik. He was the only one who felt bad about the whole deal but trying to scold those two was pointless. Then again, maybe I shouldn't have taken that whole thing so seriously. I mean, I was at the beach. The beach involves getting wet. Well, not with Daisy's example! 

Speaking of, what was that other guy's deal? What was his name? Kai? Who cares what his stupid name is, I won't have to see him again. He and Malik might have been handsome, but one of them was a big jerk. This needs to serve as a lesson, pretty faces are not all that! He was so infuriating! He acts just like Liam! Acting as if he doesn't care about the drama, but somehow adds himself in then he wants to be a dick about something. Liam always did that. How many times did I let that happen? How many times did I let Liam get away with insulting me or mistreating me? The same for Brittany. Just weeks ago, I was terrified when Brittany brought me to the ground and threatened to use her wolf on me because I "talked back". I didn't have my wolf back then, so I let her walk all over me. But what about now? I didn't have my wolf then, and I defended myself just fine. I would probably do well to not make a habit of that. 

Things won't stop just because I finally decided to act on the bullying. Without my wolf, I may as well just be a human. Humans can't defend themselves against other species. I may have gotten out of that situation unharmed, but it can't stay this way, can it? 

My wolf. 

It seems like yesterday, I finally shifted for the first time. Sadly, I died before I could even see my wolf. What happened to my wolf? Why hasn't she shown up yet? My birthday passed a long time ago. I've been so caught up in other things, I completely overlooked the fact that I haven't shifted in this life. What's going on? Have I done something wrong? If I don't get her soon, am I just going to live without her? Before, I couldn't wait to meet her. If everyone else was against me, I knew I could rely on her. A wolf is supposed to not only be a part of you, but also your closest friend. Someone you can talk to. Someone you can trust. Someone you can grow to love. Because I was rejected by Liam, she also died. 

Pain. My heart begins to squeeze terribly and the tears creep up on me again. I should have known. Things don't change just because you're blessed with another life. My first life was the life I lost everything. I lost my dignity. I lost my chance. I lost my mate. I lost my wolf. I lost myself. No one even cared. From the start, I was made the enemy or the bottom of the food chain. The weak one. I was hoping, praying to the Moon Goddess that it would all get better eventually. It didn't and my life came to an end. What happened after I died? Did anyone ever come looking for me? Did I just stay in my wolf form until I rotted to the bones? What about mom and dad? Were they heartbroken over my death? 

Goddess.

 I don't even want to imagine how grief-stricken they were. Did Liam go back to see if I was okay? I'll never know the answer to that. 

The Moon Goddess has blessed me with a second chance at life. For that, I am eternally grateful. However, if there's anything I've learned, I can't make the same mistakes as last time. If I don't have anyone, all I need is myself. I clenched my fists and rubbed the tears away. I don't want to be like this anymore. Weak, scared, or hopeful that I'll have a hero to save me because let's be real. It's every man for himself. 

Once I've collected myself, I make my way to the cabins. I need a shower. Water and sand don't make a nice combination for me. When I enter the room I see Brittany is on her way out with her bags. Of course, she has to send a glare my way as we pass each other. I don't care. 

~

LIAM'S P.O.V. 

My thoughts are all over the place.

What the hell is happening to me? Two days. It's been two days since that encounter with Rosalia. For two days, I've stayed in the cabins because I don't know what'll happen if I see her. Will I hold her or try to comfort her? I don't know what came over me. I just had the urge to know where she was. To know that she was okay. That's all that was supposed to happen, but then it happened again. All it took was for me to look her in the eyes and want to kiss her. 

The crazy part? I think she was okay with it. If I hadn't stopped myself- 

" We would have kissed our mate. Like you should have." 

Here we go again.

"Orion. How nice of you to join the solo conversation of my thoughts. I don't believe you received an invitation." 

"Very funny smartass. This is the second time you could have kissed Rosalia and you stopped it."

Does he think I'm not aware of that? I couldn't do it the first time because I would have taken it further than kissing. I almost took Rosalia in the public eye! Later on, despite how upset I was that I was interrupted, I did thank Alan when I was in my right state of mind. I wasn't gonna kiss Rosalia this time around either. The reason? 

"I...just couldn't do it. I don't know why." 

"Didn't you want to?" Of course, I wanted to. More than anything, I wanted to claim her lips for my own. To know what her sweet lips taste like. To hear what her voice sounds like. I would have done it, but something in the back of my head made me stop.

Why are you trying to kiss someone you don't like? 

That's all I could hear. That question made me think. For so long, I've distanced myself from Rosalia. When it was truly discovered we were mates, I wanted nothing more than to be away from her. I didn't want anything to do with her. In the process of that, I ended up hurting her. I witnessed it every chance I saw her face. Instead of helping, I looked the other way or ignored her. Was that cruel? Yes. Did that make me a bastard? Of course. Can I change the past? Fuck no. 

I can't ignore her for years and then all of a sudden, kiss her and that'll make everything better. This mate bond. This damn mate bond. It keeps pulling me close to her. Maybe that's the reason I want to be around her all the time. Why I always take the initiative of going to her. It used to be the other way around. No matter how many times I pushed her away, she always came back. Back then I thought it was the most annoying shit ever. Now, she doesn't do that anymore. The day she came back after so many months in the hospital, she changed. She didn't put on that fake smile she did every single morning like no one was going to give her shit that day. She didn't peek in my direction just to catch a glimpse as I talked with my friends before class. She didn't wait to follow me to class from a distance and then dash to her own before she was late. The day she came back to school, she was different.

She kept to herself completely. I never saw her attempt to be friendly with anyone anymore. To everyone, she was the outcast of the school. She never had friends. When it came to me, Rosalia was scared. She tried her best not to show it, but I could feel her fear. She was terrified of me. I understood why, but a part of me couldn't accept that. 

"I don't know Orion. I shouldn't be trying to get close to her." 

"Isn't that what you're doing?" 

"I'm not getting close to her. I'm just-" 

"Liam. You volunteered to help her catch up with her school work. You calmed her nerves when she was afraid of being on the plane. You made sure she had breakfast before arriving at Elemental Falls. You went back for her when she got lost on the way to the cabins. Oh, and let's not forget prior when you went to the hospital, to see her." 

The hospital. It was months prior that for some reason, Rosalia ended up in a coma. All I know is that it happened out of nowhere. She was found in the hallways on the floor. Many assumed that she had fallen down the stairs. The only reason why she didn't get any help sooner was that she was running late to class. The bell had rung, so she had to be the only one in the hallways. I just saw red. 

Blood. 

Rosalia's blood. Oozing out from the side of her head as she was unconscious. There weren't enough words to describe what I felt at that moment.

Anger. 

Sorrow. 

Pain.

The one I felt the most was fear. Fear of losing her. I called her name and pat her cheeks, just trying to get a response from her. She wouldn't give me one. The scent of her blood brought me to insanity as I wiped the crimson color from her forehead. I held her body to mine as I yelled at someone from the surrounding crowd to call an ambulance. I blamed myself for not being there for her sooner. When the ambulance arrived, I was denied access to accompany her to the hospital. There wasn't room for me due to the paramedics trying to resuscitate her. She stopped breathing all of a sudden. I was going to lose my mind, but Orion held me back. Had Orion not took control of my body, Rosalia wouldn't have made it to the hospital. It hurt Orion just as much to see his mate in that state. I felt his pain and the same fear I possessed. I had to watch the ambulance drive away as my heartfelt as if it would stop. I thought Rosalia was going to die. 

I remember shifting in my wolf right then and there. Not caring if anyone saw, and gave a threatening howl to those who were still watching to not say a word about the incidence. Useless bunch. I only cared about Rosalia. I had to know she was okay! Sitting in the white waiting room was the worst. Each minute felt like hours, but still, I waited anxiously. It was that day I decided I hated hospitals. Only when she was out of surgery, did the damn doctor finally come with the news. Rosalia had to be put in a medically induced coma. There was internal bleeding from the brain, a huge concussion that came from the fall, and although they got her breathing on the way to the facility, she stopped for quite a while. That was bad news since that was the time oxygen wasn't going to the brain. Goddess, I could have died. 

At that moment, all I wanted to do was die. I didn't think it could get any worse. I was wrong. It was awful to see Rosalia's parents rush to the hospital in despair. Her mother was in tears as her father tried his best to calm her down. He whispered reassurance in her ear as he rubbed his wife's back, but that only did so much. I would tell the man was doing his best to keep it together, but his eyes betrayed him. I saw agony hiding on the inside. Two parents were so desperately terrified and worried to death over their child. That's never an easy sight to see. Especially when you're an alpha and you have to protect your pack with your life, but there are times you lose members of your pack.  Many times I've seen the look of despair and I always felt bad about it, but seeing Rosalia's parents in that state broke something in me. 

I couldn't stand it, but I also didn't dare to face her parents. It was my fault that she ended up in such a horrible state. I wasn't scared of being scolded or hated, I just didn't want to face the fact that for the longest time, I let Rosalia down when she didn't deserve it. When I should have been there. Despite that, I wanted to do something. I had to do something. Without their knowledge, I paid to have her treated while being anonymous to her parents. On the days I was able to visit, she didn't look like she was getting better which didn't make any sense to me. Your wolf helps you heal quicker than the normal recovery speed, but it didn't seem like Rosalia's wolf was helping. That was concerning, to say the least. When I asked doctors to check the situation out, they couldn't give me any other answers besides the fact that X-rays showed she hadn't shifted yet. Another out of the ordinary occurrence.

Her birthday was months ago. Female wolves shift for the first time when they turn 16, but Rosalia didn't. Doctors could give a million reasons why that didn't occur, but something deep in me made me skeptical about it. That wasn't even the worst part. The day it happened, I began having nightmares because it terrified me so much.

Her heart stopped beating.

It wasn't a scare. It wasn't for a few minutes, which was detrimental enough. 

Twenty. Full. Minutes. 

That amount of time can lead to irreparable brain damage and lead to losing a loved one. All I could do was watch as they used the AED over and over again, shocking her heart to function again. I panicked. I screamed. I cried. I begged the Moon Goddess to save her. Anything, but not her. 

Fuck.

Thinking back on the memory, my eyes began to water. 

"Liam...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up," 

I closed my eyes before letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Refusing to let the tears fall again, "No. It's fine. I don't know Orion. Maybe I just don't want anything bad to happen to her. Not anymore." 

Ever since she came back, all I wanted was for her to be okay. Safe. "I never want to go through that again," 

"Neither do I. That nearly killed us both." A pause, "Look...I know when it comes to love, it...doesn't come easy to you. Rosalia is our mate. If it hurts you to see her in pain, then let's do our damnedest to keep her safe. You don't have to think about the bond. Not right now. You need time to figure out where your head is. If you want to give this a chance, we can see where this goes." 

They say when you receive your wolf, not only will they be your best companion, they'll be your number one supporter. The ones who'll try to steer you in the right direction. I can honestly admit that Orion and I were made for each other. No matter what, he always knows what to say. The Moon Goddess works in mysterious ways. 

"I don't want you to be afraid of Rosalia, Liam. You know and I know she's a good person." 

That's without a doubt. She may keep to herself and isn't the type for handling violence well, but her heart's in the right place. If anything, she's probably one of the nicest people I know. Maybe too nice, but that's her nature. I wouldn't want her to change it. 

"You're right. I need to do better. For her."