Is This Love ??

" Umm.. what do you mean"? I know what she means but I can't help myself from asking this . ( Oi Oi why me of all people ).

" It's obvious... isn't it , I like you .. and I-I w-want you to be my b-boy-f-friend ". I can't handle this , ( Ahhh... my heart's beating soo fast that it might come out now). I'm weak to these type of situations. I was just a background character , your average joe . I never imagined that I of all people would get confessed by someone ( This is my first and probably will be the last). Why me? I don't get it , if you want a sharp and good looking guy Claus was the man . He has his intellect to boot . I don't think I have any redeeming qualities that would make a girl of her level ( Anna's definitely some levels above me ) to like me in a romantic way . People can't like you just because you showed them a pinch of kindness by handing over a handkerchief ( this is the only thing that comes to my mind now , Sigh).

" Why me ...? I didn't do anything special and I'm sorry if I am bei-ing ru-de but we have met only twice haven't we ? I am happy that you feel that way... but I find it hard to believe ". This was definitely rude and insensitive of me but I have trust issues in these kinds of situation. You know since I was not socializing with people I can't trust them easily , I always get these thoughts about how they might have an ulterior motive and stuff( It's really my fault but now its ingrained in me , I can't get rid of it so easily). I know I'm hopeless , I'm questioning a person's goodwill and positive emotions and I know it's bad ( I'll probably he hated , but anyway...)

" Well... I don't think you are rude person Kelvin , you're just a bit too straightforward . To answer your question... actually It was.. so-rt of love at first sight... When we met for the first tim-e you were a bit awkward but you still showed an act of kindness. Th-ats not the entire reason you know-w. Even when I called yo-u today you came without asking anything or expecting anything . You even escorted me now till the station . My feelings became more profound when I thought how you are kind to everyone and I can't stop fro-om being excited when I think how much care and kindness you might show if I became someone special to you . Its.. a k-ind of selfish emot-tion and feeling but I can't help it". You're really blushing hard aren't you . * Sigh*

My heart and my mindset wasn't ready for this development . I already have a lot of things going on and adding this up to that. ( I'm spent, I want to sleep like a log ) My heart's racing and my thoughts are a mess.

" I'm really happy ... that you have such positive opinion on me , but you know I'm inexperienced when it comes to dating , love and romance . Could you give me some time to coll-ect my thoughts and come up with a proper decision". ( My speech has leveled up in recent times and now my stuttering frequency has hit the rock bottom , Yayy)

" Sure ... take you time . I'll be waiting for you ..". She gave the most charming smile I had ever seen ( LOL ! This is my second time meeting her and I'm already charmed , hahha)

She made her way inside the station to board her train and after parting with Anna I made my way slowly towards my home . My thoughts are now completely dominated by Anna . I can't think anything except about her confession and that smile . Do I really deserve her? Can I really be happy with her? Do I even have to right to reject her earnest feelings? Will things be alright if I date her? Such thoughts kept circling in my head . Anna is cute with her blonde hair with ringlets and blue eyes which sort of appeals her short stature making her more cute . Her personality is also good and honestly I'll be happy with her ( It's my first time so I would be happy with anyone, LOL! poor me) .

I reached my home changed my clothes. I really wanted these thoughts to disappear and I wanted to calm myself . So I picked my phone and called Anna ( the reason for my disturbed state ). After some 20 seconds she received the call

" Hello "

" He-y Kelvin ... I was shocked wh-hen I picked my phone to see that you are calling.."

" I'm sorry for startling you .... actually you know.. I was thinking about your confession ..and I sort of felt like I should face this head-on , so I called you ".

" So you've made you're dec-ision " ? Her was was quivering and she was nervous I believe .

" Well .. sort of ....."

"Actually Iam an inexperienced and incapable person in my life . I have no redeeming qualities or any special traits or characteristics , my looks are pretty average and I've led a silent and uneventful life till now , I never had a girlfriend in my life or I never expected to have one... but even after all this if you still like me then I will oblige with utmost respect and love". Man this was embarrassing . I never expected my thoughts to be so wild .

" Fuufu .. I love you Kelvin and I always will I think ". What's with that cute voice ( OMG!)

" I'll be in your care ". This conversation is embarrassing , my cheeks are getting hot . Damn it

" Why didn't you say I love you too ? Are you just accepting me out of kindness "? .

" Don't misunderstand .. but that's super embarrassing to tell . I will do it some other day and ya, I didn't accept you because of kindness or anything... I did it because even I sta-rt-ted t-to like yo-u ". Damn this was super super embarrassing I want to die now . ( Ahhhhh).

" You're strangely cute aren't you. I'm happy Kelvin that you've accepted me .. I'll see you tomorrow , byee and goodnight".

" Yaa goodnight to you too . Bye". I cut the call .

Something inside my head screams when I hear the name Anna , it's like a mirage , the thought disappears when I try to grab or reach it . I don't know why but I feel that I've forgotten something , something important that I should've remembered. That's one major reason why I chose to accept Anna.

I still don't trust her completely but I think I will be able to do so in future .

Is This Love? Who knows but I'm sure I'll find the right answer someday.