Chapter 5: I Can Lie

Niang Er stood outside Ling Yun's room and gestured for the older handmaiden to wait outside. She rapped three times onto the wooden door before pushing it open. "Ling Yun, let's pass the time together."

She had in her hand a stuffed toy resembling a cat as well as a few books. Niang Er could not find any books that a child would read so in her hands were titles such as, 'How To Whistle While Killing' and 'You, Me, and this Tofu'.

The former was one that every disciple of the Whistling Thorn Sect must learn to heart. Afterall, how could they be known as the Whistling Killers if their killers never whistled…

In fact, new disciples of the sect often find it hard to whistle while committing murder for reasons such as getting too engrossed in the act, or spending several moments crying at the world for forcing them to kill someone in order to steal their treasure.

As for the second book, its plot was about a beautiful romance between a tofu and a chef. However, their love was not to be, when a woman accidentally ate the tofu as she had mistaken it for a simple dish.

This results in the chef challenging the woman to a fight to the death, only to have his butt kicked since he was still a chef, and this woman turned out to be a face-slapping infamous top assassin that kills using acupuncture.

As a result of his loss, the chef made her food so delicious that she decided not to kill him so he can make her even more food, causing them to develop a newfound romance years later.

This illogical dog-blood story was also acquired by Qian Mei, though Niang Er wasn't sure if the mistress had actually read any of it since she found it supporting a slanted table stand. That table stand was also currently being carried by one of the older maids outside of the room so that they may transport it into Ling Yun's room.

The very same room Niang Er was standing in right now, and the room that was supposed to contain Ling Yun. Panic clouded her mind when she realised she could not see Ling Yun at all.

"Old Ma! Old Ma! Ling Yun is missing!"

"Old Ma, my ass! I'm only ten years older than you brat, so call me Sister Ma." The older maid entered the room cursing. Setting down the small table she was carrying, she surveyed the room and found Ling Yun sitting innocently on the cushion. "Ohoho! You're playing tricks on Old-- Sister Ma now, huh? Cheeky brat, you actually managed to scare me for a second."

Niang Er was confused. She wasn't lying when she thought Ling Yun had disappeared because the room really was empty just now - at least in her eyes. Ling Yun had used the Turtle Breathing Meditation Method to show that he had the ability to hide in plain sight. This was to set up the next scene of his plan to leave the house unnoticed.

"Old Ma," Ling Yun ignored the twitch in the maid's brow. "Niang Er did not lie to you. This morning my teacher taught me a method that allowed me to hide better." He performed the meditation method once more.

When he disappeared and reappeared, Niang Er snorted triumphantly as if to say she wasn't crazy. Ma Wanfu pinched Niang Er's cheeks before praising Ling Yun. "Young Master is indeed talented. May this one ask the reason why you've shown us such a splendid skill?"

"I want to play hide...hide-and-seek." Ling Yun almost choked on his tongue when he said the words aloud. The shame he felt at requesting such an immature game to be played really made his face hurt. "Teacher said I have to practise the skill, but I think it would be better to do so by trying to hide using this skill while Niang Er… uh, and you try to find me. This way it'll be more fun and I get to practise the method."

Ma Wanfu smiled and slowly inched her way out of the room. "Clever thinking, Young Master. I unfortunately have to prepare lunch, thus I'm afraid only Niang Er may be able to accompany you. I will see you at the dining room around the hour of Wu Shi. Goodbye!"

Ling Yun silently thanked the maid for having the shame to leave. He was more worried about her poking holes in his words since a woman's intuition should never be despised. Left alone with Niang Er, Ling Yun noticed the items in her hands.

Glancing at the characters on the cover of the book, Ling Yun suppressed the sigh of relief in his throat. It was written in traditional Chinese - however it meant that he could read it. This was his first encounter with a book he was even allowed to touch and as such, made a vow to read it no matter how strange the name of the book was.

He looked at the stuffed cat toy and wondered why on this planet would Qian Mei own a plushie. That was until he noticed the many stitches and patches on the toy. It wasn't meant to look perfect, and gave off a very homely aura.

'This was handmade… but by whom?' Ling Yun wondered. He felt like Qian Mei held too many strange items in her house. Shaking the thought off, Ling Yun asked. "Do you want to play?"

"Of course I wanna play!" Niang Er squealed. She set down the books and the toy on the table Ma Wanfu left behind. "How many seconds do you want me to count?"

"Thirty."

"T-thirty? Doesn't that feel a bit long?"

"I'm not that good at hiding. It's fine if you don't want to though..." Tears started welling up in Ling Yun's eyes, making Niang Er feel like she was bullying him when in reality, Ling Yun was going to cry because of the shame he felt…

"Don't cry, little Yunyun. Shall I start now?"

"Yes please! If you can't find me, it's okay. I'll appear when lunch is ready."

"Hm. You're not just going to run out and explore are you?"

'I thought Niang Er was supposed to be easier to fool!' Ling Yun calmed his tone in order to not leak any emotions out. "Why would I disobey a teacher's order to stay inside? Trust me, Niang Er, I will be hiding somewhere in this house!"

"Okay, then I'll start counting." Niang Er faced a corner and covered her face with her palms. "One.. two… three.."

Ling Yun smiled and embraced his surroundings. Although he wanted to leave the house and explore areas he would never be allowed into when he was a simple cleaner, he really did want to improve as well, or else his goal will only grow farther from him. Thus, he immediately started the Turtle Breathing Meditation Method and made an effort to remain unseen while moving to slip out of the house.