CHAPTER 26 : LEO'S REGRETS

Nat's POV

Leo has been acting really weird today.

I don't know what's up with him.

He practically invited me on a sleepover and he just told me sometime before that we shouldn't hang out much not that I mind the latter but I'm just confused.

And he has locked the door, shut all the windows and if he thinks that I didn't see the watchmen outside then he is really wrong.

Is he planning to kill someone tonight?

It's a plain guess but I get a feeling that is exactly what's happening right now.

Shit, if that's true then this all is really messed up.

I need to ask him and convince him before another person dies.

He is down in the kitchen, I 'll just go and ask him.

As I go downstairs, I see him leaning on the kitchen stool and talking to someone on the phone.

"Bye," he says and sighs.

He gets up and punches the wall and screams in frustration.

Okay, what?

"Leo!" I scream in shock and run to him.

Not the wisest decision I guess.

"Hey, are you ok? What happened? What is wrong? Tell me!" I ask him.

"No, nothing is right! I hate my fucking self!"

"Leo! Leo, look at me, "

He doesn't.

"Leo!"

"What?" he asks irritated with me.

"Calm down and tell me what happened"

"I killed a person tonight "

So I thought.

"How? You were right here with me all this time, so how'd you kill a person?"

"I ordered my cousin to kill him "

Cousin?

"Why?"

"I wanted to avenge my parent's death and also my cousin's "

"Oh "

I am totally unsure about how to reply to him.

"Leo don't say stuff like you hate yourself. You thought it was for the best. Can you really help it? You're in a mafia clan so stuff like this happens. I can relate to what you are feeling right now. Even I hate myself, everybody does at some point of time but the thing is that you have to get over this. Like I said stuff like this will happen. You had to avenge your parent's death. If your cousin didn't kill him, you would have and then you would have been drowning in a deeper sea of guilt. So please calm down. It's for the best ."

Even though its not, I was too late to save that person. I should have known that some plot was going on in Leo's mind the moment we got out of the car. I should have stopped him then and there only.

It's too late.

Though I shouldn't even care, whoever died from Marco's clan probably tried to kill me himself and it's good that he died before he could commit more nasty murders.

But that doesn't mean that Leo or anyone of his petty clan members had any right to take his life.

Is this their solution to everything?

Kill a person, spite others, make everyone around you including yourself miserable?

Not so brainy after all I guess.

He seems to have calmed down after my little speech.

I put my hand on his cheek and look him in the eye.

He has his eyes closed and opens them when I put my hand.

His eyes are glossy.

I feel for him.

I see him and I see how broken he his and how hard he tries to keep everything in place and hides his pain from the world but he fails to realize that his eyes are the gates to his soul and I can see everything he's trying to hide from me.

It breaks my heart to see him like this but I also know that he doesn't need anyone's pity or remorse and he just wants to be strong and keep trying. I admire him so much because of this.

"I don't know Nat, I should have been there to protect my parents, Luca, my clan and yet I was in London studying. Living a carefree life. Then when I came here, Marco killed Petro in my vicinity just to spite me. Mario killed Luca to spite me. He won't ever admit but we both know the truth. And the worst part? There is literally fucking nothing I can do about it ! " he says and punches the wall again.

The wall definitely has a dent although I don't think that's possible.

It's probably best to distract him before he does decide to put a dent in the wall.

"Leo, come let's go upstairs. It's not your fault. Ya, I agree with the fact that you should have been here to help the clan but your parents didn't want that, did they? If they did, they wouldn't have sent you to a safer place. They wanted you to live a carefree life. That's why you were in London and not Italy. And screw Mario and Marco! They're both assholes and look what happened to them? Mario lost his only son and Marco 's brother is dead. And they are both responsible for it. Not you. So please stop this and cheer up! Every bad thing and death is not your god damn fault, Leo!" I say with a scowl and hope he gets the message.

My throat is dry after speaking so much.

"Yeah,"

"So let's go upstairs, watch a movie and get you happy, " I say with a smile.

He looks at me and smiles back in return.

"I know its hard Leo and all of this is a lot to take in but I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always be by your side. I got your back," I say to him and put my hand on it and he hugs me back in return.

I just hope whatever I said didn't make matters worse.

"Yeah, I need to get my mind off my regrets or I would never be happy"

"Exactly! " I beam at him, glad that he understood my point.

"Now let's go before I can ruin this night anymore ."

"You never ruined it in the first place--"I start but am cut off when his mouth presses on mine.