CHAPTER 54: WHAT IF

Nat's POV

I finally got rid of any sort of feelings I've ever held for Marco. This includes hatred, love, etc.

It feels a long time coming home I guess, home being the happiness I had before all of this happened.

Sometimes, you really do have to kiss the wrong guy to know how you feel and also to get rid of all sorts of things you ever felt about the wrong guy.

I am free now, my feelings for Marco always held me back from being happy. But that is over, they're gone and I for one couldn't be happier.

Now I just don't care and I know it's too soon to say it but I'm just so happy.

So happy.

Leo even forgave me.

Perfect timing.

And to top it all off my shooting training is over and I'm packing my bags and taking the first flight back home.

Back to the place where Mario is.

That kind of does set back my whole new found happiness but I won't drown myself in it and try to get it over as soon as I can.

I may ignore this now, this being the guilt that is going to come after killing Marco even after all he's done to me, but how do I escape it?

Can you even escape guilt?

Looks like we'll just have to wait and see.

I had to argue with my clan leader to change the task from killing Marco to killing Mario again.

After all I will feel more satisfied if I do kill Mario.

"Nat!"I hear my mother screaming and I go to the living room where she stands with both of her hands on her hips with an angry expression.

Don't even get me started on why she came here.

To gross me out.

Of course .

What else?

She started telling me the gruesome details of her first kill and I had to run from there to make sure I didn't puke on the carpet. I'm glad she never became a storyteller cause she sucks at telling anything.

To be honest she sucks at everything .

Now that I'm face to face with her in the living room I can see another emotion masked behind her angry green eyes.

Jealousy.

Of course she's jealous. Her sister got everything she's ever wanted.

Leadership of a clan.

A perfect daughter.

Happiness.

"Yes?"I ask her.

She looks at me and says,"You better do this right woman. "

"Ya I will, "I say and start going back to my room.

"I'll disown you if you don't, "she says as though that's even a threat.

"I'm anyways not your daughter. Do whatever,"I say and continue taking steps towards my room.

"Do you even love me?"she asks with crocodile tears visible in her eyes.

Here we go again.

"No"I turn around and say.

These words seemed to have a physical impact on her and she moves backward.

What else did she expect?

I'd say yes?

After the way she's been treating me my whole life she literally thought I'd say yes?

Clearly, she's delusional.

"You don't?"

"Of course I don't mother"

"Why?"

I snort and say,"You have the audacity to ask?"

This woman is unbelievable.

"I'm your mother"

"Your actions speak a different tale"

"I've always wanted the best for you"

"Of course you have, "I say dryly and go back to my room.

Before I shut my door I hear her say,"Come back here!We need to talk!"

I slam my door in return and hope that she gets the message about how much I wanna talk to her.

================

It's two a.m. right now and I'm standing at the airport and waiting to board the plane.

It feels like I'm going back to square one.

Back to where it all started but this time it's something way bigger than the last.

This time I'm going to kill Mario.

He'll be dead and a great load would be off my chest too.

I know it's wrong to think that killing Mario would make a difference but it must certainly would.

I'll be a leader for starters and life's going to be perfect .

Or as perfect mine can ever be.

"Passengers who will be boarding the plane to please join the boarding queue," the flight attendant announces and I step into the queue.

Knowing that once I'm here in this line , on this plane, there's no going back and the only way out is to kill Mario.

Even though it's not even a way out.

I'm now deeper than ever.

=========

Exactly two hours and forty minutes later I reach the dreaded hospital and try not to think about how exactly I'm going to complete my mission.

This is obviously not a piece of cake and I'm worried about the outcome.

What if miss my aim and shoot something else?

What if Mario is suddenly not in coma?

What if I get caught with that gun in my jacket?

Will they arrest me?

What if Leo is there?

Will he still love me if I point a gun at his uncle's head?

With all these what ifs inside my brain I struggle to breath .

I put my hand on the door next to me .

I hadn't even realised that I had reached Mario's room.

With hesitant steps I step in and I see Mario sleeping or should I say he's still in coma.

It would've given me a heart attack if he wasn't.

I close the door and lean against it.

I pull out my gun slowly and step forwards.

"I'm sorry Mario but you deserve this" I whisper and am about to pull the trigger when I see his eyes open.

What--?

He sees me and he looks super terrified of me and he let's out a shaky breath.

I close my eyes but I can hear him trying to make some movement to call someone to help him.

I pull the trigger and then Leo suddenly steps inside the room.