SHOULD I DIE?

Annabelle: (Talking to her psychologist) I want to die.

Psychologist: (Gives her a stern look) And when did you start feeling that way?.

Annabelle: (without regretting her words) A long time ago. (A more serious expression) It started a long time ago.

Psychologist: What exactly caused you to have that kind of idea?.

Annabelle: Because I'm tired.

Psychologist: Of what?.

Annabelle: Of everything!.

Psychologist: Specifically?.

Annabelle: Myself and the people around me.

Psychologist: (Writes on a note book, "Tired of living". She focuses on Annabelle again, trying to read into her soul) It must be your family then. (Annabelle doesn't change her gloomy expression) Your family is giving you a hard time and you feel suffocated.

Annabelle: (smirks) You're right. Sometimes I wish I could disappear from the world and have them look for me until they feel a great sense of loss.

Psychologist: You've experienced a lot of pain and you still continue to take in more pain. Why?.

Annabelle: Because I can't let them know. They won't listen to me even if I were to die.

Psychologist: (Takes in a deep breath) When I was a teenager, I experienced something similar to what you're going through. You want to know why I never thought of dying?, because I was very outspoken. I was in fact an open book. I would never let what they did get to me and if it did, I made sure I told them right away exactly what and how I felt.

Annabelle: (Referring to her parents) They would never listen to me.

Psychologist: Yes they will.

Annabelle: (Exclaims in frustration) No!.

Psychologist: Why do you think they wouldn't listen to you?.

Annabelle: Because my mom called me a nobody!.

Psychologist: And your dad?.

Annabelle: (Silent for a while before she finally speaks) A disgrace!.

Psychologist: (Silent for a while, trying to understand Annabelle's situation) No one is ever a disgrace. You know why?, because we're all born unique. There's a reason for which you exist today. You have a gift and you need to show the world that you're worth more than just breathing. You're beautiful and smart. Killing yourself is never an option.

Annabelle: You think so?.

Psychologist: I know so. You're very young and you have a lot to achieve. Tell me, what do you want to be when you grow up?.

Annabelle: (without hesitation) A writer!.

Psychologist: Why do you want to become a writer?.

Annabelle: (Thinks for a while and then stutters) Because I... I love writing.

Psychologist: (nodes in agreement) Have you ever tried writing down your thoughts?.

Annabelle: No.

Psychologist: Then let us begin from there. Writing down your thoughts sometimes helps to relieve the pain you feel inside. Anything you want to get off your chest, you can start by writing. That way you can learn to express yourself.

Annabelle: (Nodes in agreement) You're right. I'll do that.

Psychologist: (Grabs Annabelle's hands) Always remember that you're stronger than whatever situation you find yourself in. Never give up on yourself. Most especially, never give up on the world. Your family needs you.

Annabelle: (Bursts out in tears while hugging her psychologist) Thank you.

A FEW DAYS LATER

At Annabelle's Family House

Robert, Annabelle's dad, calls for a family meeting . They all are seated in the living room waiting for Robert to start.

Robert: (To Annabelle) Have you thought of what you want to do besides not being good in your studies?.

Annabelle: (Shaking in fear when she finally decides to speak) I want to write.

Robert: (With great disapproval) What?. What did you say?. A writer?. What kind of rubbish writer are you talking about?. I will never have any kid who refuses to study or be good at anything to live under my roof. Look at your sisters!. They're the Aces of their class, always number 1. And you?, just like your mother.

Margaret: (Turns to Robert in shock) Excuse me?. How can you insult me right in front of our kids?. Don't you have any respect left for me as your wife?.

Robert: (Fires back at Margaret) You're just like your daughter. You have no talents, nothing!.

Margaret: (Even more hurt) What did you say?.

Robert: You heard me.

Margaret: I may have no talents, but unlike you I'm not a narcissist. You're just proud for nothing. You don't care about anyone else besides yourself.

Robert: (in a loud an angry voice) Woman!. You better watch how you speak to me in front of my kids.

Margaret: (Even more angry) Oh now you know not to speak in front of the kids.

Robert: (Diverts the topic) Look at them!. All girls!. Is that the best you can do?. I wish I had a son, then I'd feel at ease when I finally die knowing there'll be someone strong enough to continue with my legacy.

Margaret: Only God gives children Robert. And if he chose to give me girls, then who am I to complain?.

Robert: Oh please, spare me the nonsense.

A few hours later, In Annabelle's Bedroom.

Annabelle: (Writing on the diary given to her by her psychologist. " They didn't care we were there. They just fought on and on like they wanted to kill each other, like they didn't need each other anymore. Dad felt angry because we were girls. He said it without feeling sorry. I wish I could tell him how I felt at the moment, I wish I could tell him to stop yelling at my mother, I wish I could tell him that he didn't deserve to be family because he didn't treat us as family to begin with).