Chapter 27

Atifa's pov:

After lots of prodding and arguing, we were finally done with everything. I had a bath and took a shower too. Because I just couldn't stay without having a shower when ammi decided to add some oils and essentials in there.

And I had to use face masks too. But it was all over now so I shouldn't be thinking about it. I sighed in relief once I was comfortably sitting on my bed, towel drying my hair. Emaan just went in to have a shower. Her dress was laid down on one side of the bed and the heels were kept beside it.

And my dress was laid in the middle of the bed since 'someone' was trying to do a photoshoot here with it. I shook my head as a chuckle escaped my lips. Crazy girl!

A knock resounded in the room, followed by Ammi coming in carrying two bags with her. I looked at her with a frown. What was it now?

Before I could ask her, she kept the bags on the bed and took out the boxes. She opened them and I realised some of them were jewellery boxes, a few of which she might have bought yesterday. One of the boxes contained a watch, a clutch and shoes. Other than that, there were just jewelleries.

"So since I couldn't figure out which one you might like or which one will go with the dress, I bought a few of them. Select the one you like the most and I will keep one for each Amira and Alayna and the rest will be returned." Ammi went straight to the point. She seemed to be in a rush. Maybe worried about today's upcoming events.

"Okay I will select something now but ammi, you need to calm down." I told her while pouring out a glass of water. Handing it to her, I urged her to drink it.

Smiling at me, she calmed down a bit and after a while, asked me once again anxiously. "Did you like anything?"

I scanned the opened boxes kept in front of me. One of them caught my attention and I picked it up. It looked so beautiful. The silver coloured jewellery was carved beautifully into intricate design, giving it a regal look. It wasn't too heavy or light. It seemed perfect. At least to me it did. I was running my fingers on the design when I heard ammi's voice, "I had an idea that you would like this one."

Looking up at her, I saw her smiling at me. Maybe she still remembered what kind of things I like. Maybe she hadn't forgotten anything but I had. Maybe she wasn't being ignorant, but I was. Maybe I was just too busy grieving in my own sorrow that I forgot about her knowing me well enough to know what's best for me.

To be honest, I didn't know where these thoughts were coming from! Maybe watching her like this now, and knowing that today would be the last day that I would remain just a daughter or sister. And after a few hours, I would become a wife too, had opened a new chamber of emotions in my mind, which it seemed like, I didn't even know how to lock anymore.

The emotions clogged my throat, fighting to come up, but I gulped, trying to suppress them in. "I loved it ammi." I told her genuinely, my eyes shining with gratitude and happiness, a smile adorning my lips. Maybe a few more emotions could be detected through my glassy eyes and my hoarse voice but I warded that thought off my mind, not wanting to think about it.

Her eyes shone with unshed tears as she dabbed under her eyes. "You look so beautiful princess. I can't even believe that you have grown up so soon. I just..." She paused, her voice cracking the slightest bit but I noticed it. My eyes scanned her face as I tried to figure out if she was doing the same; trying to suppress her emotions like me. She looked away trying to gather herself and those scattering emotions, which seemed to give way to my clogged ones, making me look away too.

Treacherously, a tear leaked from my eye, making me hastily wipe it away. I couldn't lose my control. Not when it seemed so hard for her to keep her emotions at bay. I couldn't let myself feel weak. Exhaling loudly, I turned to look at her before giving her a warm smile. Keeping the box aside, I took her soft hands in mine. She turned to look at me, probably surprised by my sudden affection.

I had always loved how her hands always used to stay warm and soft. I would say she was still young, although she had just turned forty. Holding them felt like I was a kid once again. Holding her hands and asking for something. Or holding her hands while going out. It just brought my old memories back, something which I was trying to avoid. Squeezing them, I told her, "You don't have to say anything ammi. I-" A lump formed in my throat and I gulped it down, blinking back the tears. "I understand you." I continued while holding her gaze softly.

Heaving a long sigh, she gazed at me with gentleness swirling in her chocolate orbs. At that moment, it seemed like the mask which she wore for so long, slipped from her face. It was like all the tiredness from the past year had suddenly weighed her down, crashed on her, revealing an old and withered face. And suddenly, she looked a lot older. And I dodn't feel like wanting to know or hear anything else.

I guess my sudden affection was too much for her to take as I saw her tears flowing, although she tried to stop them. She squeezed my hands gently and I didn't realise when I lost control of my emotions too. Only when a sob escaped my lips did I realise tears were flowing down my face too. Freeing her hands from my hold, she tried to wipe her tears away. But it was of no use since they kept flowing. It seemed like a dam was broken after so long and it wouldn't stop at any cost now.

I brought my keens closer to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. This time, I didn't try to stop myself from crying. I knew it was of no use. Maybe things were going back to normal. Maybe we would go back to being the way we used to be before. But I couldn't be sure about it. Life was unpredictable - yes. But ammi had become much more unpredictable since that incident. Since the incident which changed our lives forever.

Shaking myself away from these thoughts, I glanced at ammi. She was sobbing uncontrollably. Putting my knees down, I scooted closer to her and let myself hug her shaking form. I could feel her arms circling around me, pulling me closer. I let the warmth surrounding her engulf me. I let ourselves cry our hearts out.

I didn't know what the future holds for us, but I wouldn't let this opportunity slip away. I wouldn't let the moments I could cherish now, slip away from me just because I didn't know what the future held for us. But I knew whatever it would be, it would be for the best since it was planned by the best. I knew He won't test us beyond our capabilities. I trusted Him. We plan and Allah plan and indeed Allah is the best of planners.

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▪ What do you think would be your reaction on your nikkah/marriage day? Do you think even you will forget about it like Atifa?

And those who are already married, what was your reaction on your special day?

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