Atifa's pov:
What does everyone think of me? As an object? As a toy? As a puppet? Or what? No one even bothered to tell me what was going on. It was like they could pull on the strings of my life whenever they want and however they want without being bothered about who I was or what I was going through. My opinion didn't really matter, did it?
Even I was a human being. I would like to know what was actually happening in my life. They couldn't just pull someone in or push someone out like that. What was ammi thinking when she did that? Did she not even for once think about me? No actually, did she not even for once thought about letting me know what she planned on doing or what she did? Because it definitely didn't look like she ever even planned on letting me know about it.
Okay I understand, maybe she liked him. But even if that was the case, whatever she did wasn't right. It wasn't acceptable. If she really wanted to, she could have asked him normally. But no, she had to go this far and force him to marry me.
Did she even for once think that what if he was already married or committed to someone? Or if he already liked someone? Or if he even planned on getting married so soon? I didn't know. And honestly, I didn't even want to know. I didn't want to start disliking her for this even more by knowing these answers.
And what about him? Even he didn't bother to tell me about it. Not even once. He didn't even try. Was it so easy for him to just go with it without protesting or trying to tell me? Was it so easy for him to just come into my life and create havoc? A havoc which I had no idea on how to calm down.
Why did he even do that? He could have said no, right! He could have said no! He could have just rejected me! He could have asked me to reject him! But no, he had to go ahead with it. He had to agree! Why did he even sacrifice his dreams and goals? I could assure that it was not me. It could never be me. He didn't even know me. So how could it be me?
And honestly, I didn't even matter here. My opinions or my thoughts didn't even matter here. Was I that bad that people didn't even want to tell me anything. They didn't even want to inform me what was happening in my life or what they were planning with my life. MY LIFE.
It would be better if I just leave. It would be better if I ask him to leave me. He didn't have to ruin his life for me. I was no one. I was not worth it. At least not when my own mother did this with him. He didn't have to stay here. He didn't have to stay with me. He had every right to walk out of this. And I would ask him to do just that. To walk out.
I couldn't let him ruin his life. I couldn't let someone ruin their life because of me. I couldn't become a burden on someone. I didn't want to become a burden on anyone. I loathed it. That feeling of knowing that we were just another baggage on their trolly which they didn't even want. That feeling of knowing someone was not doing something because of us. Or someone was not moving ahead because of us.
Yeah, we got married. Yeah, ammi forced him into this. But maybe there was a way out of this too. There definitely was a way out of it. And that was exactly what I was going to ask him to do.
Wiping my tears away, I leaned back on the tree. I was sitting behind a tree in the park. The same park where Amira usually goes to play. The same park where she met Alayna.
Suddenly, I could hear some familiar voices coming closer. Knitting my brows, I realised they were Amira's, Alayna's and his voice. What were they doing here?
I didn't have to think much because Amira informed him, answering my question. "Okay bhaijaan, you can sit here, we will be playing on that swing."
"Okay but don't go too far, I'm keeping an eye on you both as well as going to try and find your sister." He replied and I heard the footsteps fading away. "Crazy girl, she even left her mobile at home. Does she even know what time it is?" I heard him mutter, making me realise he was still standing close to me. I mean, my tree.
Frowning, I checked the time on my watch and realised it had been two hours since I came here. And thinking about it, I even had a headache.
I heard him sigh before taking a few steps away from my tree. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and came out of my hiding spot, standing right behind him. "You do know that it's fatal to talk about a girl like that, right?" I asked him, amused, trying to divert my mind as well as lighten up our damp moods.
He abruptly turned around, his eyes wide as he stared at me. "Alhamdulillah." I heard him mutter before exclaiming. "Thank God that you are alive!" Relief was clear on his face, making me chuckle slightly. "Don't you even dare do that again." He uttered, now getting angry, his eyes turning into narrow slits.
Looking away from his face, avoiding his gaze and trying to ignore his angry statement, I noticed him holding an ice-cream bowl in his hand. Smiling slightly, I reminded him. "Your ice-cream mister."
"Oh yeah, I remember." He looked down, suddenly realising about it. "You want it?" He questioned, looking back up at me.
"No... not now. I'm not in the mood for it." I replied, thinking about my headache.
He raised his brow suspiciously, most probably thinking about how I rejected the offer when I loved sweets. And who else knew that better than him? "Okay..."
Walking past him, I made my way towards the bench closest to us. I waited for him to join me before sitting down. It was silent for a while, none of us saying anything, maybe trying to find the correct words to use.
Gulping, I decided I should just tell him. I should just ask him to leave now when I have decided that, because maybe my resolve would get weak if I stayed mum now. I was not like them that I would tell them things later on, when letting them know or not didn't even matter. I didn't want to be like that.
Glancing at him, I prepared myself for the worst. Never in my life did I ever thought that I would be getting divorce or asking for it from my husband. I always thought about working things out no matter how hard it gets. After all, that is the one thing which is allowed in Islam but Allah hates it. But look where I was, asking for just that one thing which I never even imagined. "Can I ask something? Please don't deny it."
"Yeah sure, go ahead." Looking at me with curiosity and keeping his ice-cream between us, he replied.
Fidgeting with my ring - the one which he gave me - I looked up at him. "Divorce me." Was all I said as I waited for his reaction.
._._._.