Chapter 18

There's something lacking and leaking day by day, but the atmosphere in all of this really feels good, like an ease to my frontal lobes, there's lots of dopamine rushing through my brain, but I m still determined , to sail through these seas of miseries, mistakes and mishaps....

Leigh is a wonderful man, and sometimes , it seems like he is my illusion , an illusion which is blinding me with its illustrating form, beware!! Mind warns me , and this warning coming from my mind, gave me a reason to choose between a knot or not of aggregated phase, like the things of illusions, which says for a visioned person, "a thing which is trapped may be free, but a thing which is trapped may not be trapped , it may be in free, but seems like it is free...."

Complicated!! Isn't it, yes that's why I had been to illusions , these days, because I m also a naive when it comes to this theory, I make again and again the same glibly mistakes, it can't be mistake then! If mistakes are repeating themselves, then it can't be a mistake.... It is my habitual fault which is again an abridged form of my thinking,

I had left K behind, and still I m mentioning him, not because I want to , but Because I want to, tell you all ! That as much as we should expel ourselves from our past and the things should be focused , because even the Darkness needs the lights to be switched off, life has only one door !! Only one and we are going in and out ....one comes and leaves it opened and another comes and leave this closed..it is a geometrical progression , why not an arithmetic progression? Because the difference is not even....how many dies a day , a little are born at that day, but population inflames....

I m currently in Doramara village, and I m very much eager to meet  Leigh's Nona, but at same time , its been two weeks! Two fucking weeks and I m stuck, Leigh doesn't use cell phone , he said and also I got to know that he is an university student just like me....beside this he works as a general assistant in a nearby  post office, he says, this is cool to have your own choices , and luckily here , they grow Orienpet here, hybrids of Oriental and trumpets lilies.

Orienpets blooms 2 weeks earlier than orientals , Everything is fine and I m falling in love with this place, today Nona is coming from her trip, and I m currently trying to cook for the Candice family, village people are very friendly and I had meet with many people like Martha , and Robin ...and Thela these guys are great and again I m missing Juana, so I choose to give a call to Juana, !! And dialling her number with my phone, I waited as her ringtone was banging in my eardrums, oh ! So she is practically into Alex sparrow....nice !!

After four to three rings, she picked up !

"Hey ! You bitch , bloody ass , where were you, are you okay? You know how much I had tried to call you, but your phone was god knows !! Didn't was able to come under any network! Even you had been labelled as missing in the newspaper and even I had contacted to Mr. Edgar Cornwell and he and his team is searching, you really need to come here, just now !! At least tell me where you are ? At last time , I check you were with Nolan ! But then he said, he himself didn't saw you, when you excused yourself to go washroom, and I was really angry, I called your mom but she said, she is enjoying her honeymoon, I cursed her loud in phone, and now , tell me where you are you fucking bitch??"

I m startled , by her contagious behaviour, she really sounded worried and pathetic and that Nolan , that fucktard....he should rot in hell, I composed myself,

"Err.....I m actually in my friend's house he lives in very small village , so he invited me there to stay for three weeks, he was giving me a surprise ....he ...umm..is my pen friend !" I made an excuse, that was sounding guilty to my own ears, but I had composed, even if I sound fake..but again, I cleared my throat.

"See, Valen ! I didn't knew any of your this so called, pen friend , but if you are telling me that you are safe, then I m withdrawing the report of your missing, you are damn too clumsy and blunt girl! Why do you do such things, at least consider me telling about your locations, and why didn't you gave me a damn call, no messages and nothing, I m scared even if you are telling me the real truth, or what? If you are telling me lie , then be ready for your grave, because I will never accept your apology, I swear ! How much I had been running this one month, you even didn't have any idea? Do you ! From that police station to this, and them crime branches, tracing phones, and that rubbish things! Open the Television and see the news of local news stations, every now and then! "

Juana Graves, the Juana graves, was she okay? Or did she lost her mind, she was really sounding so concerned about me, I m crying in tears, she is my only family , beside uncle Tobias, but uncle is a such loner person, I had to gave him a visit also, but she is asking for my return, I would have to tell her some date, but what date?

"No Ju! I m not making a lie, he is my actual friend , and my phone had been damaged. so , I didn't made you a call, but trust me....I m safe and I will be returning, and yeah! Please withdraw your case, it is useless, I will be returning after 1 week, Just need to get some air !!" I tried to make a healthy conversation.

"Do I look like a fool, you are so high to forgot that , even if I m not a crime journalist like you, but I m a student of maths okay!! Even my grades are poor in it, but I got a calculative brain, Did that friend of yours not possess any cellphone, why didn't you called from his,?" Juana rocked over the phone, she is really an ass, when she tried to trap my lies, my soul would be shrinking, what to tell that ! Leigh Candice don't do phonecalls as he use telephone booth.

" He don't have any cellphone. And that's why I didn't make you a call, pardon me , next time I will " wow! Great Valentina Lockhart, such a big liar you are, I m really busted . he don't have a phone call and I m a dumb girl , who in this 15 days, didn't care for calling her friend, but Juana my dear, I can't tell you the real truth ! Please forgive me.

"Your brain is really getting smaller by these passing days , Valen! Who in these days not possess any cellphone, that bastard must be an geez, even if he lives in a Village, So how did he was able to call you then ! For inviting you over his house, or whatever place ?" She is inquiring, I knew that these types of questions will be clicking over her cryptic mind, very efficient, but I m also an analyser.

"He wrote me a letter, which I got in college, but I forgot to mention you about it." See, how clever I am, but this cleverness is really a douche , because , she is well wisher, and I m doing the thing with her, Sometimes I m too disturbed by the fact, that I always latched myself for those who always hurt me, and they don't considered me of any worth, and I worshipped them, cherish them, but I in this process ignored those , who really cares for me, they really do. Just like my Juana, we fought a lot but we can't live without each other, she is really perturbed whenever I m lost or when I went some alien places without contacting her,

She is my bless , and She is my bliss.

" Oh ! So this friend cum postman friend of yours , is writing a sonnet oblique letter, to make you come and stay with him,  are you two dating or bedding ?" Cut the upper sentence, She is not a bless, she is a blister , I will smash her head, when I will be returning.

"Don't you think too much, He is my only friend, and nothing else okay! Juana , you irritate me a lot Dude! And what about your Bike tournament ? Is it going well ? It should be doing good ?" I diverted the topic ,

"Yeah, I m balancing my bike races and your missing Case, I was really afraid , if anything had happened to you, I m an atheist , but I went church to pray for you, even I don't believe in this god concept and whatever their relics, but your empty bed and heap of garbage like wardrobes were tensing my nerves and I had such urge to calm myself, do return fast, and I m glad that your jab phone is now treated, I will not be Able to make you a call, as I m up for the race, but you little one, Take care !!" She is scooting away from the phone,

"Hey ! First of all thank you , for your concern and faith and I m surprised that you ! Juana graves went to church for me, and they are my fashionable clothes, so respect them , because you had this odd sense of clothing not me,  and I m coming for ya, just wait ! All the best for this bike tournament , I hope I will be attending this competition, See you, !"

"Write . Me . a letter, like your sonata friend , haha !" Juana is a mad girl, and she is very crazy ! No doubt, the phone was cut, I can't believe that she was that much worried for me, I really not display emotions, she visited church for me, For me !!! Oh my god! I still remember , that Whenever I dragged her to go church with me, she always refuse me, but now She had brought a drastic change , only for me , for my safety, Jesus! She is making me cry, but I m happy that she is my family ,

Shifting my gaze from her thoughts, I started cooking the normal English breakfast, it had been tossed to seared , equator cut tomatoes, I will seasoned them with salt , I thought and now I m readying the back bacon, a little bit of loin, belly and then it would be halfway smoked and placed to the plates,

Then I moved to mushrooms, I m going to caramelized it and making little browny, and again the odd but not least the eggs, I m frying , tossing, again frying , tossing and finally grilling and seasoning .

I clapped my hands, and took a last look, it was ready , finally ! I stared at my warmth hands, I had completed the breakfast, one thing  ! The people can notice about me, is that ? If they got a good observant pair of eyes, then they can notice, I cook when I m feeling very jovial and I cook when I feel giving gratitude,  Ordinary men can't notice my reflexion of happiness,

But , then I freeze, because I feel someone was staring me about long time, but again , I was too lost in cooking that , I didn't attend the thing, And I turned toward the person, It was him, Leigh !! We both were observing each other's confidence levels, I was scanning his appearance , he was tall and he had .....wait was shirtless, And the body was dripping with sweat drops, this kitchen was small in size , but contains all the necessities , there's no need ! Of anything, he had wear the dark blue jeans , and had grabbed one white towel for dabbing him with water, and I was in my shorts, thanking K!! For fetching me some clothes, at least this was the good thing , He had done for me, my hairs were tied like a knot, He was striding through the marbled tiles, it was of brown colours, As they were being clean, my irritation level was high, because I was feeling very nervous, A strange man and me , and again the same situation, "embarrassment ".

I really don't want a hazy environment between me and him, no one wants, He finally faced me and I m backing , only when my butt hit the Counter of kitchen. And he had come that much close to my nether ness, that my breast were heaving with an unknown rhythm , A sensual beat , and my legs went jelly, we locked and he is tensing my body, sometimes, when you feel ecstatic or aroused by your own eroticized mocha , you started acting and dreaming your fantasies, it's so weird, like I had not escape, from him and he from me, the breakfast is still being served, and we are not even disturbing both, I started playing with my faded ring , which had been stuck from 10 years into my index fingers, and then he slipped his hands to my shoulder, much surprised to my own feelings,

" what.... Are you..." I was going to ask him, if he is trying to kiss me, I m not going to give him, because I m not rental.

His black eyes are mixing with my brown one, and a colour is forming out of this interaction,  a shades of a middle east evening, which can be observed, and he whispers in my ears,

Even his whispering is sounding like a purring of my name, I m being reminded again, that he was my saviour.

"Actually....." A slow but warming tone is coming,

"What?" I read his words, but questioned him. Gripping the material of my cloth. And closing my eyes. I wanted to shove him away and telling him , that he should back off his feet, even though being my saviour, he is not my god , but I don't know , what got into me, that I decided against my own will, and he allowed himself to enter in my comfortable zone, I m taken aback , as his features are tense, he is not completing his sentence, actually ? Actually ...what ?? Did he was planning to kick me out, or actually he knows that , I m homeless, or Actually he feels like he is guilty to save a nonsense girl like me, what was the actual meaning of his "Actually ?" ...

Come on Leigh! Better you finish your actually ? Tight for me and everything , because signs are not neon and they are still the colored version of my processing,

"Do continue, beside you are reframing too much ...Leigh ?" I told him in very upthrust manner,

"Actually, your....."

I don't want to know actually your or actually mine, just say what you wanted to , are you kicking my butt ?

"Actually ....Tina ...your ....black bra stripe is peeking out of your shirt " with this, he tucked my bra stripe and swiftly moved out of the room, leaving me there gob smacked and only making my breathing fast , this was very embarrassing.....Oh you damn boy ,, No matter how good the boys are ....they will be asshole, pervert and geek. Just like ...every one,

Well ! My bra is black ....because I love black.