Back Then, Part 4

While the curtain closes as a sign of the end of the play, I could hear the audience starting to applause. It made me smile that the play is finally over. "It's done…" I muttered to myself.

There's still the final bow of all the actors of the play, but Osumu rushed to my side to tell me something important. She looked so worried about something. "Yujiro, your dad."

"W-What did he said?"

"Your dad said you need to rush to the hospital." In an instant, the image of my mother flashed in my mind. Without a second thought, I began to ran out of the school. Not even changing my costume. I suddenly regret the choice of becoming a part of the play, but… I believed in my mothers' words.

The time I hesitated to take part in the play, I asked for her advise and she told me: "Wasn't it your dream to be an actor? You really loved to act on stage, so you should go and do it. I believe in you, Naozumi. And don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

She acted strong infront of me, despite being sick in a hospital bed with a numbered days in life. I thought, maybe I could make her happy by grabbing this opportunity and make her proud with the accomplishments I got.

I thought she'd even get better. But why?…

Why is she being taken away so suddenly!?

"Dad! I'm he-" before I could finish, his palm reached my left cheek. He slapped me so fast and hard that I could still feel the painful stinging sensation on my face.

"You had to prioritize that damned play of yours…" he whispered.

I stayed silent, listening to what he kept muttering to himself. "…your mother had it hard… and her days were numbered."

He looked at me with furious eyes, and it petrified me. "YOU KNEW HER DAYS WERE NUMBERED! AND IT'S SO SELFISH OF YOU TO SPEND THOSE DAYS FOR OTHER THINGS THAN TO STAY BY HER SIDE UNTIL SHE DIES!"

I couldn't talk. I couldn't breathe properly. I couldn't even cry, because it scares me what he might do next if I do something. Dad grabs me on the shoulders and shakes me furiously. "-DIDN'T YOU KNOW SHE WAS LOOKING FOR YOU AT THE LAST MINUTE OF HER LIFE!?"

Some nurses had to seperate my dad from me because he started to become aggressively mad. Then I was only placed at a corner, feeling all mixed up.

Earlier, I was very happy that the play just finished. I thought I could make my mother proud, but it was already too late.

Regret.

Frustration.

Loneliness.

Guilt.

Anxiousness.

Anger… what do I feel exactly?

"Yuji." He then appeared at the right time, looking at me sadly. Tomakawa pulled me close and hugged me tight. "I've heard from the nurses… I'm sorry, Yuji."

"Toma, I…" my voice cracked as I tried to talk, then I couldn't continue what I had to say. Tomakawa just caressed my head, making me feel at ease, even just a little. "You don't have to talk right now if you don't want to. I'll be here, so you won't feel you're alone."

As he assured me, I hugged him back tightly. I started crying and understood that what I really felt was sadness.