Introduction: The Player

Shinagawa, Tokyo.

"Brother!"

"Brother, help me!"

"Why didn't you help me –? It's all your fault."

"I hope you DIE too."

Twenty-five-year-old Takahashi Natsu startled awake, sweat dripping from his forehead, his dark eyes wide. He glanced around the now dark bedroom, panicked and breathing heavily. He patted the bed beside him, feeling for a woman, but the only thing that lay beside him was a large, empty bottle of whiskey. He could have sworn be brought someone home with him – had it gone wrong?

He glanced under the covers, noting he was still wearing his host suit. Yep, he had messed it up somehow. That was one less customer. It always happened this time of year, he lost at least one regular customer. He sat upright in the bed with his head in his hands, tears rolling softly down his cheeks.

"A-Akinari.." he sobbed "Akinari, I'm sorry."

He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He had been so shocked by the nightmare, he hadn't realised his head was throbbing.

"Fuck" he mumbled, staggering a little as he stood. He glanced at his watch. 1 am. He would have a bath – there was no way he would be able to sleep again. He entered the bathroom, turning on the tap and allowing the bath to fill with warm water. He stared at himself in the mirror, clinging onto the sides of the sink.

"You're a useless fuck, Natsu" he whispered to himself, closing his eyes tightly. He couldn't even stand the sight of himself.

He turned to see the bath was full enough, so he stopped the tap, removing his now sweaty suit. He threw it around the room in random places, then placed one foot into the bath to test the water. Perfect. He then stepped fully into it, sitting down. He relaxed into the warmth, splashing some of the water onto his stomach. He lay there for a moment, lifting his hand and running it through his dyed, magenta hair, dampening it slightly. He tried to think of other things, but knowing that his brother would be dead eight years the next day made that impossible. He sunk lower into the bathtub, dipping his head under the water for a few seconds. He felt so, damn alone.

He emerged from the water, wiping at his eyes and gasping a little for air, then reached for the shampoo to wash his hair. As soon as he was finished in the tub, he hopped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. He had the day off the next day, thankfully. Usually he didn't, and he would have to visit his brothers grave very late at night, and sometimes in the early hours of the next morning. He hated that he had to visit the grave the day after his anniversary, but at least things would be different that year.

He went into the kitchen, taking a pair of boxers out of the dryer and putting them on. He then flopped down on the couch, towel drying his hair. Switching on the TV, he saw that a drama was playing. He sat back, draping the wet towel over the back of his couch and let out a tired sigh. Maybe he would fall asleep on the couch.

"I love you" the male on the tv said. Natsu had never seen this drama before, it must have been new. Then again, he didn't watch TV much – unless it was his day off.

"You liar!" the female exclaimed, banging on the dude's chest. He took a hold of her arms, then pressed his lips to hers. Natsu leaned forward as he watched them kiss. He often wondered what being in love was like. He had never been in love before. He had been seventeen when his brother passed away, and since then – girls were a one-night thing for him. He didn't have sex often, usually he opted for his hand and some porn, but it was nice to get it out with someone else sometimes.

He switched over the television, finding an action movie on the next channel.

"Better" he mumbled to himself, draping an arm over the back of the couch as he watched the film. The dramatic explosions and gunfire were much better than the dramatic kissing scenes of romance movies and shows. Though honestly, he hadn't really thought it through when he decided to watch the action film. As he stood to get himself a glass of water, he heard a woman screaming as her young, teenage son crossed the road – and was killed by a truck.

Natsu froze up, his muscles tense and his eyes wide as he stared at the screen. His eyesight blurred and his head started to spin, and before he knew it, he was laying on the floor – barely conscious, but aware of his position. As his eyes started to droop, he flickered his blurry eyes to the doorway of his living room. A figure stood, wearing a pair of dark, blue jeans and a striped shirt. He reached a hand out.

"A-Akinari.." he said weakly, tears streaming down his cheeks "Akinari, I'll save you."

The figure of his brother he could see in the doorway reached out to him, taking a few steps forward.

"Akinari, quickly...it's almost too late" he said, his voice breaking from crying. He blinked, and the figure was gone. He banged his fist down hard on the wooden floor.

"FUCK! DAMMIT!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. His eye sight was slowly becoming more and more clear.

"Akinari, forgive me" he sobbed as he attempted to kneel, but ended up falling back down, smacking his face off the cold floor "forgive me - I was a bad, big brother."

He finally managed to sit up five minutes later, curling up into himself as he sat on the living room floor, sobbing.

"Why didn't I go with him?" he cried "WHY NATSU?! YOU STUPID, STUPID FUCK!"

Again, he slammed his fist onto the floor, then gripped his hair, pulling at it. He hated himself. He was a monster.

He sat there for hours on end, crying, as movie after movie played on the TV. He fell asleep crying at some point, curled up on the freezing cold floor. When he awoke the next morning at half past ten, he was confused, then remembered the events of the night before. He rubbed at his tired eyes. He was tired, but he wanted to go to the grave and then get so drunk he didn't remember his own name. Maybe he could hook up with a woman and not screw it up this time.

He got ready, then checked his phone to see he had nine missed calls from his mother – and three text messages. They barely spoke year-round, it was mostly around Akinari's anniversary only.

"I hope we can see each other today, son. You know Akinari would love that. We miss you" the final text read. The others had just been "are you awake yet?" and "Natsu? Are you ignoring me?"

He couldn't see them. He couldn't bring himself to face them after what he did. Even though they had never blamed him - he blamed himself. Entirely. Akinari wouldn't have died if he had of went with him that day. He would still be here – their precious boy.

He locked his phone, throwing it into his jeans pocket and heading out the door. He locked the door, then headed in the direction of the train station. The journey seemed long and he was dreading the thought of meeting his parents at the graveside, but when he arrived – nobody was there.

"They must have been here already" he whispered to himself, heading over to the gravestone. He stared down at the stone, reading it ten times over like he did every year, until it finally hit him again. He was gone.

"Akinari, bro" he said quietly, reading the stone one more time.

Takahashi Akinari

15 YEARS, taken too soon.

missed dearly by his brother, Natsu, and his parents.

May he rest in peace.

There were fresh flowers on the grave, with a message from his parents.

"We miss you every day, dear son. Love, mama and papa."

Natsu smiled weakly.

"I didn't bring you any flowers" he said, "I know you hated anything girly. I figured flowers are the same, right?"

He bit down hard on his bottom lip, kneeling down in front of the grave on the dry grass.

"Things haven't been getting any better since last year. I'm still not married – still not happy. I still feel so guilty about that day, Aki. I hope you've forgiven me."

He sighed sadly.

"It may be too much to ask – but, if you forgive me, won't you send me someone? Someone who will love me, and someone who I can fall in love with, too. Can you do that for me, Akinari? Only if you've forgiven me, though."

He ran his hand along the marble that lined the grave, then stood. He bowed a little.

"Rest easy, little guy. I miss you with all I've got."

He stared at the grave for a few more seconds. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to be in there with him. He hesitantly turned, giving the gravestone one last, small smile before he did.

"Hey? Is that you, Natsu?" he heard a voice call. He turned back around, eyes wide. Oh, no. Was it a family member? The voice seemed surprised, so maybe.

That's when his eyes met someone, he didn't know at all. Or maybe he did, but he had forgotten them. The person held a comic book in his hands. He had an amused smile on his face.

"Who are you?" Natsu blinked.

"Aw, you don't remember me?" the male gasped, pouting.

"No."

"It's me – Hideaki. Hirata Hideaki."

"Oh!" Natsu was surprised at himself that he hadn't remembered him. After all, he had been Akinari's best friend for years.

"I came to bring your brother a comic. His favorite. The newest edition" Hideaki beamed, showing him the comic in his hands. Natsu chuckled.

"That's very kind of you. Do you come here every year?"

"I've come here every year since he passed. Though it's the first time I've seen you here."

"I usually come later. Work and all" Natsu nodded.

"Oh" Hideaki smiled, nodding a little. His smile was so genuine, it made Natsu's heart skip a beat.

"Do you want to get some breakfast together?" Hideaki asked. He stood the other side of the grave, having arrived through the other entrance.

"Sure" Natsu nodded. Hideaki grinned – that smile that would become Natsu's drug in such a short period of time. The only smile that could make him smile just by seeing it. He found himself staring at Hideaki, and Hideaki stared back at him for a moment.