Chapter Three: True Love is a Sacrifice

Three weeks had passed since Goro had come to live with Daisuke.

He was such an angel, offering to do housework, such as taking out the trash and washing the dishes and vacuuming the entire apartment. Though, Daisuke was still worried about him. A guy who had gone from feeling so pathetic and alone couldn't just suddenly feel better – right? He had to do something, perhaps hire a psychiatrist to speak with him at least once a week.

As he sat correcting papers one Friday morning, he heard Goro's bedroom door creak open, then light footsteps.

"Good morning," he smiled, not looking up from his paper, "did you sleep well?"

"I did" came Goro's reply.

Another smile from Daisuke.

"Did you?" Goro then asked.

"I didn't, not really" Daisuke sighed, "I was supposed to catch up on my corrections yesterday, but I forgot. So I was awake most of the night regretting that."

"I'm sorry to hear that" Goro said sadly, sitting down on the couch beside him. Daisuke placed the test paper down onto the coffee table.

"Say, I wanted to talk to you about something" he said. Goro seemed startled.

"What?" Daisuke questioned.

"Have I outstayed my welcome…?" Goro asked him quietly. Daisuke tutted, shaking his head.

"No, not at all. I just wanted to ask you how you are feeling now that you are not alone."

"Fine" Goro smiled, "I feel so much better and very grateful to you, Daisuke."

For three, whole weeks he had struggled with the Daisuke thing. Now, he seemed used to it and it slipped comfortably from his tongue.

"That's great, but would you like me to take you to a therapist or something?"

"A therapist? What for?" Goro asked, surprised.

"You've been through a lot, with your mothers suicide and all –"

"Suicide?" Goro asked, now confused.

"Yeah. We were told your mother committed suicide and your father said he didn't want – you know. You."

Goro grit his teeth, and Daisuke was aware he had hit a nerve.

"MOM DIDN'T COMMIT SUICIDE, THAT BASTARD KILLED HER!" He roared. Daisuke was taken aback. He had never known Goro to be so vocal, or aggressive. Understanding his position, he remained calm. He was also shocked by this news.

"He killed her?" he gasped.

"YES!"

"Please, Goro. Calm down. I didn't know things were so bad. I will phone a therapist as soon as I can."

Goro remained silent, looking down at his hands in his lap. Daisuke raised a brow.

"I'm sorry…" he said, barely audible.

"It's okay" Daisuke said, rubbing his back softly, "it's okay."

"I just – I didn't expect it, you know? They seemed fine to me."

"I know," Daisuke sighed, "this is a shock to me, as well. They always seemed like a happy couple during parent teacher conferences."

"I know, right?" Goro sighed, "so imagine my shock when I went home, and I-I found her lying on the floor. In a pool of her own blood. My mind went black and – when the police came and I said my dad was at work, they called his workplace and they said he hadn't come in that day and his phone was switched off. The police tried to call him but – they were right, it was off. When they informed me he was missing, something inside of me just knew it was him."

"I'm so sorry, Goro" Daisuke said, semi-hugging him from the side.

"I don't want love if that's what it's like" he said, staring blankly at the wall ahead. Daisuke raised a brow.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, someday I'm going to fall in love. Or maybe not, but I always assumed there was someone out there for me somewhere. I'm saying if that's what love can do, I don't want it."

Daisuke wasn't sure why, but he felt hurt by that comment. A pang of – jealousy?

He shook it off.

"Oh, Goro. Don't be silly," he chuckled, "there will be a girl one day that will make you feel very special indeed."

"Really? Did you find one yet?" Goro blinked at him. He hesitated before shaking his head.

"I'm not really interested in that kind of thing."

"Why?" Goro questioned. Daisuke moved away from him slightly, as to not freak him out when he revealed the truth.

"Because – because I'm gay."

"Oh?" Goro nodded, "that's interesting. I thought I was gay, before."

"Why did you think that?"

"A few times in school, there were boys who I would consider really attractive, but there were also girls."

"Ah. Man crush. That's normal."

"No, it was a bit more complex than that," Goro said, blushing deeply.

Daisuke ushered him on by waving his hand. Goro blushed harder.

"I guess – I would m-masturbate while thinking about them."

Daisuke's heartbeat quickened.

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah," Goro said, crossing his legs over one another, "b-but there was one in particular. Want to know who he was?"

Daisuke chuckled, "I don���t think that would be appropriate. They are ex-students of mine, after all."

Goro pouted, "please?"

This kid was getting naughty.

"Okay then, go on."

"It was you."

"Me?!" Daisuke gasped immediately.

"Yes," he nodded shyly, "stupid, right?"

"Why is that stupid? Aren't I handsome?" Daisuke chuckled.

"Yes. Very handsome" Goro admitted, "that's why I liked you and why I would – you know."

"Damn," Daisuke said, exhaling sharply.

"W-well," Goro stuttered, standing up. He was evidently hard. Daisuke found it so hard to not look at the bulge in his pajama pants. It wasn't appropriate.

"Yes?" Daisuke asked.

"I'm going to go take a shower" he said. Daisuke nodded.

"I'll be at work" he said, standing up, "I'll go in early to correct these papers."

Way too many distractions at home, after all.

"Cool. See you later this evening, then" Goro said, moving to the bathroom quickly.

Daisuke bit his bottom lip, then shook his head quickly. He packed away his supplies and the papers and rushed out the door. God damn that kid. He knew how to push his buttons.

Truth be told, Daisuke always thought he was a cute kid. His thick, wavy black hair. His huge, light-brown eyes. He was short, too. Probably about 5ft 4 or so, so he was adorable. There were his cheek dimples, too. But he had never been sexually attracted to him, until that moment. It was Goro's fault, though, right? He had lured him in with his comment about masturbating thinking about him.

He drove to school, humming along to the tunes on the radio and trying so hard not to think about Goro. They had been living together for three weeks, and he hadn't had a single thought about him like that. He knew that Goro was fragile – and he most certainly did not want to take advantage of him. He wasn't looking for a sexual based relationship, he wanted something real, and Goro was too young to want something like that.

"My God…" he mumbled under his breath, pulling up into the school yard. It would be difficult to resist Goro from that moment on, but it was something he needed to do.

Just as he exited the car, Hakaru Usami approached him. Now, that was a nice-looking man. Why didn't Goro like him? He was the P.E teacher, too, and he always wore tight shorts. Something to see, right?

"Good morning, Mr. Amaya," Mr. Usami smiled, patting his back as they joined each other on the footpath that lead up to the school.

"Good morning, Mr. Usami" Daisuke smiled in return, "how are you?"

"Ah, I'm doing well," he said, nodding his head, "You?"

"I'm great," Daisuke replied with a small nod, "I have been busy."

"Ah, yeah. People have been talking about how you took that kid in. Very generous of you."

"I couldn't just let him die" Daisuke sighed, "he was a good student of mine, after all."

"Shame what his father did."

"Uhuh."

Had Daisuke been the only one who didn't know the bloody truth? Then again, he didn't watch the news often, and according to one of the female teacher – it was the hottest topic for WEEKS.

"Well, it's always nice to have a cute boy around, anyway" Mr. Usami chuckled. Ah, yes. Mr. Usami was bisexual. Even better for someone like Goro, who seemed to be the same.

Daisuke just laughed in response to his words. What was he supposed to say to that?

So, anything new with you?" he asked Mr. Usami, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Still single, still ready to mingle. My brother just got divorced."

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry to hear that, he must be devastated."

"Yeah, and not for the reasons you may think" Mr. Usami laughed. Daisuke quirked a brow out of curiosity.

"I went to see him yesterday. He wasn't making much sense. Something about his ex-brother-in-law. Weird kid, I met him once. He said something about him being mad at him. I don't know why he cares all of a sudden. He hates the kid."

"Maybe he doesn't really hate him, after all" Daisuke suggested.

Mr. Usami laughed loudly.

"My brother? Gay? You must be joking. That guy loves pussy."

"Oh, gee" Daisuke laughed, shaking his head. Mr. Usami was known amongst the teachers for being straight to the point, and sometimes inappropriate.

They reached the school doors, Mr. Usami holding the door open for Daisuke. Daisuke stepped inside, and they made their way to the teachers' lounge together.

"So, I was thinking," Mr. Usami started as they were about to enter the teachers lounge. Daisuke turned to look at him, hand on the door handle.

"Hm?"

"Maybe we could go out for a drink this weekend?"

"Just us?"

"Yeah."

"But – just us?"

Mr .Usami laughed, nodding, "Yes! Do I need to spell it out for you? I'm asking you out on a d-a-t-e."

Daisuke hesitated, a mental image of Goro entering his mind. No. He had to be strong. It would be inappropriate for him to date Goro, he was too young, and he had been his student for some time.

"Sure. I'd like that" he smiled, entering the student lounge.

"Cool. Saturday at 6 sound good to you?"

"It does" he nodded, both of them taking a seat together. Daisuke took his papers out of his bag and started correcting them, while Mr. Usami had some breakfast – which consisted, as he told him, of leftover shrimp tempura and sushi. Not a combination Daisuke would particularly mix together, but whatever.

The bell rang soon after, signaling classes were about to begin. Daisuke made his way to his classroom, preparing everything for his first class. He tidied papers, prepared his chalk, and put his notes out on the table. The students started piling into the classroom one by one soon enough. His mind was filled with so many thoughts, so he was pretty distracted that day, and made a few mistakes -which thankfully, his students pointed out to him. Though undeniably, he felt embarrassed about that. His students were better than him at math that day.

He just couldn't stop thinking about Goro.

Sure, Mr. Usami was hot. He was a little taller than Daisuke, probably around five foot eleven, while Daisuke was five foot seven. He was very handsome, with his chiseled jawline, and he was in his early thirties, and Daisuke did like older men. He never married, he seemed faithful and sure he was a little dirty-minded, but Daisuke could handle that. There was nothing wrong with a bit of sex, right?

Though something in his mind kept him thinking about cute, little Goro. Daisuke had always been a bottom, or as they are called in Japan – a Uke. His first sexual experience with a man was in college. Before that, he had dated a girl somewhat long-term. He started dating her at fourteen, and then he realized he was gay at eighteen, and they broke up. When he went to college, one of his professors, conveniently called Mr. Usami too, seduced him at a college night out and they ended up sleeping together. Mr. Maharo Usami had lied to Daisuke and told him he was divorced, but Daisuke soon found out through fellow-students that he had a wife and children still. Daisuke was understandably heartbroken. He had stupidly imagined a life with his professor, but that was never going to happen.

So, for the rest of his college career, he ignored him and didn't take any of his classes. It seemed to hurt the professor, but Daisuke wasn't about to get caught up in it all. He didn't want to be the reason a marriage fell apart. He wasn't that kind of guy.

Even though he wasn't married or anything, it was still not proper for Daisuke and Goro to even kiss one another – never mind have sex or be a couple. As gorgeous and sweet as Goro was, Daisuke had to resist him at all costs. Though, he allowed himself one last time to think about him like that. As he sat at his desk during the final class, his students taking a small pop quiz, he placed his hand under his chin and imagined Goro playing with himself. He could imagine his cute, soft moans. His naked body. His cute hand gently massaging his cock, thoughts of Daisuke fucking him hard in his mind. He could imagine him gently pinching his own nipples, moaning a tiny bit louder as it made him edge a little closer to bliss.

Daisuke crossed his legs, feeling a hard on coming. That kid was so fucking cute, it was unbelievable. He imagined his hand tightening around his hardened member, as he moaned out Daisuke's name, feet curling as he cums hard. Daisuke bit his bottom lip, letting out a small grunt. His students looked up at him, confused, but then the bell rang. They all stood up, chattering immediately and handed him their papers on their way out.

Daisuke sighed, resting his head in his hands as soon as everyone had gone. He had to resist – HAD TO. He was just there to protect Goro, he didn't want to take advantage of him in any way. He looked up at the clock, a few tears forming in his eyes.

"Airi, Aiko, am I doing the right thing?" he mumbled, his teary eyes flickering from the clock to the bright sky outside.

Airi and Aiko were his younger twin sisters. At ten years old, they both committed suicide 12 months apart. Airi hung herself in her closet after she was badly bullied by girls in her class. He had found her body. At eleven, Aiko overdosed on their father's prescription medication. All he wanted to do was prevent Goro from doing that to himself – he cared about him beyond words but falling in love was not an option.

No.