Reflections of terror

Danny opened his eyes to the sound of the air whirring through an air vent as he looked up at the white tiled ceiling and he could see that the wind was fluttering the privacy curtain a little bit, he was hoping that he wouldn't be able to remember what had happened that night before he went back inside his hospital room, tired out and drained to hell as they let him go after a lengthy hug that made him suddenly uncomfortable and claustrophobic, he wanted to not be touched at this painful time and he didn't want to remember why. 

Danny lay down in bed as they jabbed in needle after needle after needle and gave him the morning after pill as well as the PEP pill to prevent HIV, he winced with each needle jab into his arm as they concluded the rape kit and had sent the swabs and the DNA samples to be stored for testing and he let the tears fall as the nurse soon left the room after asking if he wanted to be alone. Danny felt humiliated and emasculated when they did the rape kit and he wished he could be anywhere else but here, he wished for Linda's comforting presence but he knew he would never see her again, he would never hear from her again because she was dead and buried and that broke his heart into a million pieces because he loved her so dearly and there was no woman in his opinion that could capture his heart the way she did.

He sighed bitterly as Mike Dodds came with follow up questions of his own and Danny was unable to remember anything before, or what led up to the rape and it was so horrendously frustrating, he was pulling at his hair in frustration and sobbing in humiliation and trying to hide his face in his hands. Frank came in and sighed

"Son, I need you to tell me what happened, the full truth."

"The honest truth is...I have absolutely no idea whatever the hell happened to me last night, I swear by god, I swear I'm not lying at all to you...I simply cannot remember at all what the hell happened since I left my house to dump the trash in the trash can, all of it is an absolute blank. My brain just can't access that memory at all, I...I'm so so sorry dad, I feel so awful!"

Danny sighed and grabbed his things and soon left the hospital the next day after sleeping in the hospital and he went home, staring at the mirror, feeling damaged and ashamed from the nightmares of going to the trash can and sudden pain and blackness emerging from his neck, he couldn't remember why this was happening, who caused it or how this was caused at all and it terrified him beyond all words of comprehension. He ran to the toilet and threw up the acidic contents of his stomch and kept throwing up, he was a fucking Captain for god's sake, he shouldn't have to be here throwing up like a hormonal teenager, he sobbed in shame for being raped, for allowing himself for being so vulnerable and he had been raped because he was unaware of what had happened.