Chapter 35: I Wish, I had not Wished (Flash Back)
Days passed, never did he or I mention the friendly/brotherly/whatever gesture you may call it. It was like that 'thing' never happened between us although not everyone was pretending to be oblivious about it.
"Did he do that again?"
"No." I deadpan.
"Did he talk about it?"
"No."
"Did he try to do something... else?"
.
.
.
"Did he talk any not-so-random-stuff?"
"Oh stop it already, Maria!" I huff and massage my temple.
"I have to make sure that you guys don't do anything stupid!" She nags about it.
"Maria, I would never do that and he also respects that," I tell her for the hundredth time already.
"Says the one who almost done it." She scoffs.
"It wasn't a kiss anyway!" I protest.
"Don't you say that word!" She scolds and I roll my eyes at her, not taking any more of her nagging.
It has been like this for a couple of days now. Maria never stops asking me about it even when I had accepted that it was nothing more but then Maria never fails to bring me back to my confused state or more like my own delusion. Well, it might be something more for me but not for him and I'm trying to adjust back to the way we were and I guess I'm very good at that excluding some of my awkward reactions. You know how ugly I could be. Pfftttt...
I have thought about sharing it with Sally but somehow I don't want another Maria who nags about it all the time. However I have still decided to tell her because let's face it, she is my best friend and I can't hide things longer from her. The sooner I get it out of my head the merrier.
And so I went to her house.
~~~
"He did WHAT!?" she asks and looks at me with wide eyes and agape mouth.
"You heard me and I'm not repeating that again." I huff.
"And you are telling me all this now?!" Anger evident in her tone.
"Come on Sally, be a big girl, cut this out and just help me out, would you?" I say as calmly as I could and she slumps down on her bed, thinking something, the shock leaving her body that had gripped her just a while ago. She doesn't say anything, her eyes fixed on the ceiling of her room.
"I knew it already, showing such gesture isn't something 'just ordinary'. " She emphasizes the last two words.
"Oh, what am I going to do Almighty! He was supposed to be my brother!" I rub my face with my hands in exasperation.
"Oh quit that brotherly thing! This is nothing but your father soothing himself by naming your 'bro-sis' relation with him." Her eyes throwing daggers at me and I flinch a few inches away. I cover my heart with my hand, pretending the hurt she just inflicted on me with her harshness.
"T-then what should I do?" I stutter.
An evil smile spreads across her face and I know she has something very devious in her mind. "Don't you worry about that, I have a marvelous plan and I just want you to agree on it." She rubs her hand in anticipation, creating a dark evil aura around her and I just watch her with fear in my eyes. "Come here, I'll whisper it in your ear." I scoot closer to her and she admits the proof of her evilness as she whispers and I gasp.
"No..." I whisper. "No!" I shout this time.
"Oh yes, Oh yes." She nods in a sing-song voice and I shake my head at her.
"Oh, Almighty save me from her!" I pray and she grips my arm with both her hands, preparing me for a tickle attack and I surrender myself in misery.
~~~
It's been two days since Sally told me about the plan and the plan is on the go. Yes, I agreed with her. Well, I had no choice, did I? I needed something to do.
Let me enlighten you guys with the following details of the plan, you'll catch up the remaining on your own later and I assure you that.
1. Avoid talking to the brat (I'm doing that for two days now and he is on my door banging with great ferocity but all hail Maria! Covered up for me.)
2. Role players (Jamel plays the major role in this plan, well that was the main reason I was hesitant to agree with Sally because I didn't want to drag him into this but as I said I had no choice, right? And besides he was happy to help me anyway while sally's role is to inform the brat that we are having a secret meeting and he has to see it for himself.)
3. Select a secluded location to implement the plan (Obviously, we were conducting something bold in a place like this town. We needed to think of a place where no people could be watching us so we agreed to meet at the valley park which is very big and we would easily find some secluded area there. Oh and just an additional information: Our secret place (The pond) is a small distance away from the valley park.)
4. Meeting of role players and victim (just slight changes: I and Jamel would reach early there to make sure everything's in place or rather rehearse our lines and the brat would reach there later after we are done with all the necessities. Sally would make sure to bring him on the specified time.)
5. Implementation of Plan (I guess, I just told you guys in point 4? The plan would be implemented when we see brat coming towards us and when he's in our hearing range. Sally would take care of that. Oh and she and brat would be hiding the whole time to watch our act.)
Did things fall to their places? If you still hadn't gotten the idea, don't worry you'll see the big picture soon.
"I'm not sure if he'll come with you when you lie to him about me and Jamel having this secret meeting," I say, looking down at my paper confusedly.
"Oh girl, he has gone crazy not knowing why you stopped talking to him, he'd come in a flash." She waves her hand, dismissively.
"You sure?" I ask her again.
"Absolutely." She answers, proudly.
"By the way, these are the stupidest dialogues I've ever read!" I say, holding the already crumpled paper in my hand.
"You just stick to those dialogues! and don't you act overdramatic like when we rehearsed with Jamel!" She retorts back.
"Okay. Okay... Sheesh! Calm down. What's the fuss?" I say, avoiding her sharp gaze and she scoffs. Sally stands up from my bed and comes in front of me with her hand on her hips, eyes fixated on me, the typical Sally posture, signaling for a speech.
"You know your dialogues, you need to remember that, loosen yourself up and no pressure at all, you can do it. Say if you can do it." She urges.
"I can do it," I whisper.
"LOUDER!" She pushes me.
"I can do it!" I whisper-shout.
"EVEN LOUDER!"
"I CAAAAN DO ITTTT!" I stand up straight from the edge of my bed.
"You're telling the whole neighborhood about the plan!" Maria barges in the room with a fierce look in her eyes and both I and sally slump down. "I can't believe I'm supporting you guys with this." She says, eyeing both of us.
"We are just making sure that what we think is true or not and it's for the best for both of them." Sally chimes in and says looking at me and then back to Maria.
"Yeah, I know. At least they won't do that thing again." Her eyes still on me.
My sister could be very scary sometimes.
"We didn't do it okay, stop it." I retort back at her.
"Don't make me start." Maria Points her finger at me.
"You-"
"Girls! Peace!" Sally comes in between us.
"It's finally the day, buckle up girls we need to put on a great show." A proud smile spreads on her face and Maria and I look at each other with a weird expression.
~~~
I'm so scared. So scared.
'Deep breaths.'
'Deep breaths.'
'You can do it.'
Yes, I can do it.
What if he doesn't come?
'Trust him he will come.'
What if he-
"Are you okay?" Jamel pulls me out of my inner turmoil.
"Ah yes, I'm fine," I assure him, smiling faintly. Jamel chuckles watching me and I glare at him. "Stop making fun of me." I scold him.
"You look so funny how could I not." He guffaws and I roll my eyes.
He does that every time. When we rehearse the dialogues, he makes fun of me because being honest these dialogues are so dramatic, I don't know how to act it out, it feels weird every time. I also asked Sally to extend the time of plan implementation but she doesn't listen to me, I guess she is right. According to her, it doesn't matter how much time I take, I'll still act clumsy.
"It's time! They will be here." Jamel exclaims, looking at his watch. I hide the paper, I was holding in my bag and he puts his paper back into his jeans pocket. We give a final nod to each other and I stand up next to him and he looks at me with assurance. We hear a rustle from the bushes and that is the clue for us to start.
I take a deep breath. "Jamel, why did you call me here?" I ask, lowering my head and started playing with my fingers as if I'm somehow feeling shy.
"I wanted to say something for so long... Sarah." His voice very gentle.
"I'm listening say it?" I look at him in the eye with pure innocence.
"It's been so long since we have been friends and I was thinking... Maybe..."
"Maybe what Jamel?" I tilt my head sideways.
I don't know if I'm overdoing it?
"Look... You see I earn money now. I'm a well-known carpenter of this town. My father's also a carpenter and what I mean to say is that... I can give you the future you wish." I make a gasping sound and hear someone behind the bushes choke on their breath.
"I don't... get you, Jamel..." I say with slight pauses and with shifts in breathing.
"Sarah... I've always been thinking about you... and-"
"And?" I ask, my voice filled with anticipation.
I'm probably overdoing it.
"And I want you to be a part of my future-"
"What the hell is happening here!?" A deep growl comes from behind the bushes and I hear some hushed arguments. The bushes rustle and he emerges from behind with Sally clinging on his leg, probably preventing him from walking.
"NOOO! We should watch the whole thing first!" Sally cries.
"Like I said I can't watch it anymore Sally!" Brat walks near to me with Sally being dragged on the other leg.
"No! we must watch it, the fun part is about to come yet!"
Oh, Almighty! She is ruining the whole thing just for the fun to watch her plan running smoothly. Thank you Almighty, I didn't get to say the even crazier dialogues.
"What is this? Sarah, refuse to that proposal now!" He growls at Jamel and when I look at Jamel, he is amused. "What are you looking at?" He glares Jamel and then turns back to me. "You can't listen to that! Reject him now!" His voice more deep and serious. I look at him to see what is there behind those dark eyes and I find... promises.
"Why?" I manage to say.
"B-because..." He stutters but looks towards me with great admiration and I almost fell for those eyes ten times even harder, his eyes were the reflection for his unspoken words, his honesty, and sincerity towards me. "Because Sarah I lov-"
"D!"
Everyone's gaze moves towards the source of the voice and I see Maria running towards us. She stops and pants hard to find air for her lungs while her hands were on her knees. She must have been running without pausing anywhere but she wasn't supposed to show her presence. She wasn't part of the rolling team. My mind was in a haze, forming various possibilities for her appearance. Something might have come up. And it looks bad.
And that was the moment when I wished that I should have just asked about his feelings straight.
I wished that I should have been honest towards my feelings.
I wished I had been strong and brave enough to admit everything.
I wished that I hadn't just wished.