Chapter 5: The Promise

I woke up to the beeping of a heart monitor next to me. I can't let this develop into a habit. I mentally sighed and tried to get up. I felt just as exhausted as I usually do. I turned off the heart monitor and got out of bed and into the bathroom to wash up. The memories from last night made me want to kill myself. I can't believe I had an anxiety attack. In front of Kakashi none the less! Only two people have ever seen me have an attack before and neither of them was voluntary. Why did he have his Sharingan revealed though? Was he trying to give me a heart attack? I finished washing up and left the bathroom to see Kakashi waiting for me in the room. He was sitting on the chair next to the bed, with his head buried in his book. I smiled to myself, letting the moment set in. I just walked out of the bathroom and saw Kakashi Hatake. Not many people can say that. He looked up at me and smiled his signature close-eyed smile. I smiled and walked over to sit on my bed. I'll just not mention last night and hope that he will go along with it. I really don't want to talk about it. That would just be plain awkward. "Good morning Kakashi. Why are you here so early in the morning?" he put his book away and fully looked at me. "I thought I'd spend some time with my student, that's all." I was getting confused; why is he wasting his days off on me? did he not trust me? I smiled sheepishly at him, "sorry about that. I'm sure you'd rather be doing a million other things. You really don't have to hang out with me. I'll just stay at home anyways." He smiled back at me, "It's fine. I want to get to know you better. I can't teach you anything, if I don't know anything about you." So, he was just assessing my strengths and weaknesses. That makes more sense than his previous excuse. I put on my childish façade like I did with my parents, "Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's get out of here." I said in an upbeat tone. He seemed to notice my mood change, but he didn't ask any questions. Instead, he got up and walked out of the room with me following behind him. he checked me out of the hospital, and we left the building. I looked at him, waiting for him to tell me where we're going or what we're doing but he seemed to do the same thing. We stayed there for a couple of seconds before he spoke up. "What do you want to eat for breakfast?" he asked trying to diffuse the awkward silence. I smiled and put my finger to my chin like I was thinking. "I don't know. As you know, I'm new here so I don't really know what's good and what's not. maybe we could try something spicy, but I don't feel like eating a heavy meal right now. maybe just a snack? But then again, I don't like anything sweet. Also, I'm like allergic to half the things on this planet, so I don't even know if I can eat any of the food here." I finished my rant with a giggle and looked up at him. He seemed confused and rubbed the back of his head while smiling, "How about we just go for ramen?" My eyes lit up and I started jumping up and down. "oh, I know the perfect place!" I said as I dragged him to Ichiraku's. "I saw this place when I was lost yesterday trying to find the flower shop and I really wanted to eat in it." I stopped in my tracks making him stumble behind me. I don't have any money. I can't ask him to pay for my food, that's too embarrassing. I'll just go with him while he eats but I won't order anything. I nodded and continued dragging him to the ramen stand. I was panting by the time we reached there. I didn't run in so long, I forgot how much energy it took. I walked in and sat on one of the stools trying to regain my breath. He raised his eyebrows at me and sat down at the next stool. The old man came out and asked us what we wanted to eat. "I'll have a miso ramen and.." he trailed off looking at me. I shook my head, "I told you I wasn't hungry." He raised his eyebrows at me, but I just smiled at him. A couple of minutes later the old man came back with Kakashi's ramen. He picked up his chopsticks and I directly looked away. I don't want him to think I'm trying to see what's under his mask. I would say about a minute passed before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked back and saw Kakashi staring at me weirdly, "why were you staring at the wall?" he asked confused. "Well, I didn't want to impose." I said pointing to his mask. He chuckled as he put the money on the table, and we left. We headed back to my place since I still had a couple of hours before my shift. We walked in and I walked over to the couch and sat on it. Kakashi followed my actions but he sat on the chair across the room. "So, what do you want to do now?" I asked starting to get bored. He shrugged, "Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?" I went quite for a second thinking of what to tell him. "My name is Elle Candel… that's pretty much it." I said shrugging. "That's it?" he asked, not satisfied by my answer. "What about your hobbies, likes, dislikes, dreams and family?" I thought again for a second before speaking, "I like drawing, but I'm not really good at it." I went quite again, thinking of what to say next. "I don't really have a dream, and as for my family, it's just me and my parents." He just looked at me, having that analyzing look on his face. I was getting pretty uncomfortable, so I excused myself to the bathroom. I took a couple of breaths to calm my thoughts, washed my face, and walked back out. I walked out to see Kakashi standing in the kitchen, looking shocked. "when was the last time you ate?" I raised an eyebrow at his sudden question, "what?" I just asked confused. "I walked over to get some water but then your kitchen was completely empty. You've been here for 3 days, two of those days you spent mostly with me. so, please answer my question, when was the last time you ate?" I didn't know what to do. I can't tell him about my eating disorder, he's going to think I'm insane. I was conflicted. I was flattered that he paid enough attention to notice but I didn't want to talk about it with him either. he stood there glaring at me. my anxiety started to bubble up in my chest. I can't tell him about this. I just can't. His eyes widened for a second before his glare dropped. He walked over to me and placed his hand on my forehead like he was checking if I had a fever. My eyes flew off the floor and to his face. "What are you doing?" I said slightly scared. Was he placing me in a genjutsu? I was frozen in place, looking at him in fear. "the last time you started releasing chakra like this, I had to take you to the hospital." Releasing chakra? What's he talking about? "What are you talking about?" my voice was weak and low. He just sat me down on the couch and went back to his chair. After letting out a sigh, he started talking. "Last night, the hokage sent me to check on you. When I arrived, I felt a lot of chakra in the air. I uncovered my Sharingan hoping to see what the source was, and it was you. That's when you woke up, crying. When you saw me, you started releasing more chakra that if you kept going at that rate, you would've completely depleted your reserves. I didn't know what to do so I took you to the hospital. You then fed on a medic's chakra until you stopped shaking and went to sleep." I looked at him shocked. So that's why he took me to the hospital. I guess my body's reaction to an anxiety attack changed from the other world. He saved my life…The least I can do is answer his questions. I took a deep breath and looked at him. "Let me retry telling you about myself. My name is Elle Candel. I am originally 16 years old but when I was transported here, I became about 11 or 12. I lived with my parents, but I barely saw my dad due to his work schedule. My mom left her job so that she can take care of me when I was a baby, but she hasn't returned to her job since then. In my school, I was always the top student with the highest grades but that didn't seem to satisfy my parents. My dad was a genius, so he doesn't accept anything but perfection. I used to have a lot of friends when I was younger, but I didn't deserve them since I was a terrible friend. I didn't know that at the time though. When my friends all abandoned me, I was shocked. My view of myself changed and I didn't know what to do. I thought everyone loved me, but I was slammed with the reality that I was just a burden. That's when I developed my anxiety and depression. After a couple of years though, I was able to get over my depression, but my anxiety refused to leave me. Every time I would go out with my friends, I'd get an anxiety attack, so I just stopped going out all-together. My friends and I drifted apart and I was left alone again. That's when I woke up here. oh, and the eating thing, I never really feel hungry, so I don't notice when I skip a meal." By the end of my little speech, my smile had disappeared. He was looking at me with sad eyes, with pity. "I know most people have it way worse and I don't have the right to complain since I was blessed with many things, but I can't help it sometimes." I looked at the ground ashamed. All my sad memories were resurfacing. A tear slipped out of my eye, but I quickly wiped it. He already thinks I'm pathetic, I don't want him to think I'm pathetic and weak. I ignored the tension in the air and smiled at him. "What about you? Why don't you tell me about yourself?" I asked hoping to change the subject. He just shook his head and grabbed my hand. I knew it. He's taking me to the hokage to tell him everything. What else did I expect? He might be a good guy, but his sense of duty outweighs his humanity. I looked at the ground ashamed as he kept dragging me through the village. Maybe I deserve this. I mean, I'm not supposed to be here anyway. Too bad, I was starting to get used to it here. I looked up surprised as he dragged me to a clothing store. He sat me down on one of the chairs. "Don't move" that's all he said before he went to talk to the lady behind the cashier. After a couple of minutes, he came back with a pair of ninja sandals. I looked at him shocked. He knelt down in front of me and started unbandaging my legs. I tried to pull my legs away from him, but he wouldn't budge. He then slipped on the slippers and started dragging me away again. I just followed in a state of shock. Why would he… my thoughts trailed off when we entered Ichiraku's. Why is he doing this? I looked at him surprised. He ordered a bowl of beef ramen. There's nothing I can help him with, so why is he being nice to me? did I put him in a position where it would be rude not to help me? I'm so dumb. That's not what I meant to do. "I'm sorry Kakashi." he looked at me surprised. "I didn't mean to make you pity me. maybe it's best if I leave." His surprised look turned into a glare. "Don't get off that stool." He ordered me and looked in front of him again. I looked at the table sheepishly, feeling bad for using Kakashi. my gaze was brought back up when the old man placed a bowl in front of Kakashi. he just pushed the bowl in front of me, "eat." That's all he said. His glare was still on his face. I looked up at him hoping to argue my way out of this, but before I could talk, he started talking again. "If you don't eat, I will shove this down your throat myself." With that, any chance I had of not eating went out the window. I picked up the chopsticks and started eating. After a couple of bites though, I felt my stomach start to turn. "Kakashi, I can't finish this." I told him, but he just shook his head and continued watching me, making sure I'm eating. I ate the rest of the plate, barely keeping my food down. Just as I finished, he paid the old man and dragged me out of the ramen stand and down the street. "Kakashi, please slow down." I pleaded, trying to fight the urge to throw up all my stomach's contents right then and there, but he didn't listen. I can't take much more of this, I have to let it out sometime soon. I stopped in my tracks, pulled his hand off of mine and ran into an alley way. I heard him call after me, but I kept running until I was in an isolated place. That's when I threw up all the food I ate. I was there on my knees panting, hoping to regain my breath when Kakashi showed up behind me. he rushed to my side and helped me up asking if I was ok. I just nodded, ashamed that he saw this side of me. He looked around and seemed to realize what happened. He sighed and looked back at me. "Was it on purpose?" I shook my head in response, remaining quiet. He just shook his head and walked me back to my place. Once we were inside, he sat down at the same chair and so did I. he seemed to be deep in thought, but he had a frown on his face. "Did your parents know about all of this?" he asked seeming mad. "I tried to tell them, but they just told me I'll grow out of it. I don't blame them though. They had way more important things to worry about." my answer seemed to make him even more mad. "What things are more important than their own daughter's health? How did they let it get to this? According to what you told me; you were only about 9 when all of this started. You were a child! What sort of parents let their 9-year-old deal with all of that by themselves? They let you go so far into the darkness that you have no self-worth left. You blame yourself for everything and think you're a burden to everyone around you. How can they let you think like that?" He screamed at me, getting mad. Tears were making their way down my face, "No, it's not their fault! They loved me and sacrificed so many things for me. it's only this bad because I let it get this bad. I was a bad person and I deserve every piece of suffering I am going through." I screamed back at him. He got up off his chair in anger, "you were 9! You weren't a bad person you just didn't know any better." I just stood there crying. He took a deep breath and walked over to me. He wrapped me in a tight hug, but I just stood there crying, not hugging him back. "It's not your fault. In the past, you had no one to take care of you. I promise, it won't be like that anymore." He pulled me out of the hug and stared straight into my eyes. "You're not alone anymore." I just stared at him. I was so filled with gratitude that I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to believe him, but he seemed so sincere that I couldn't help but fully trust him. I wiped my tears and nodded at him. He hugged me again and I hugged him back this time. Thank you Kakashi. I will forever remember this. "I have to go to the hokage now to discuss somethings with him." he said as he let me go. "It's already getting late, try to get some sleep." I nodded at him and watched him walk out of the door. I headed over to my bed, took off my sandals and laid there, recalling everything that happened today. I was thankfully able to drift off into a dreamless sleep.