Chapter 17

ALEX

I'm okay

I keep telling myself that, till my heart believes it

She didn't mean it

She didn't

I move around attempting to seem well enough and unbothered by the latest events in my life. I enrolled into community college, gearing up to finish school and make mom's times of working double shifts not be in vain. Even though I walk with a perpetual pain that lingers in my chest.

I wish I could ask another how they deal knowing the one they will do anything for won't do the same for them, manage the anguish.

If I asked uncle Frank he'd say the answer lies in whiskey. Maybe once I'm done with the bottle I could bash it into her mother's head. I wish for the sake of not giving off murder like vibes I can say I'm joking but I'm not.

Late nights dreams plague my head of Raquel

Her holding me, touching me

I can't sleep afraid to fall victim to the trick of sleep to believe she really is with me. Only to wake up and see her gone