***KNOCK KNOCK***
Anna rolled on her bed as the knock interrupted her sleep.
***KNOCK KNOCK***
"Mom, please...I want to sleep" she whined.
***DRAMATIC KNOCK***
"Open up, birthday girl!" a cheerful voice called out.
Anna got startled as she recognized the voice. She looked at the clock and it was 8 A.M. in the morning. Pressing her eyes shut, she questioned, "Why are you here Ali?"
***DRAMATIC KNOCK***
"Open up Anna. Let's celebrate!" Alira was all over the moon.
The excitement in Ali's voice brought back memories of Ava- the way she decorated Anna's room, the way she cheered her up to confess her love. "Please leave me alone, Ali. I don't want to do anything today." Anna answered in an irritated tone.
"Stop punishing yourself anna. You have a life. You have people who love you. Just think about them for once," she uttered an exasperated snort. "You are hurting everyone like this!" she added when Anna didn't respond to her.
"You don't know what I did, Ali'' Anna shouted. Cursing herself, she buried her face in the pillow to hold back the sound of her sobs.
Alira was taken aback by the yelling. Punching the door in disappointment, she wept, "I don't know cause you never told me!"
"Please Ali! I don't want to do this," Anna somehow managed to enunciate in between her sobs.
After banging her head against the wall for a good fifteen minutes, Alira placed the present for Anna at her door and came out of the place stomping her feet.
Anna felt bad for doing this to her best friend. She punched her chest, again and again, wishing for it to stop beating.
"I am sorry, Ali. Please forgive me," a teardrop rolled down her cheek. "Hell, I can't do anything right! I hurt Ali just the way I hurt Ava!" she slapped herself hard as a punishment.
"If only I was brave enough to face things, you would have been here with me today, Ava. I wish I had talked to you that day!" the tears dried up leaving their mark on Anna's face.
----------
Next morning
Anna reached the cemetery at exactly 5:25 A.M.-the time Ava committed suicide.
Making her way to her sister's grave, her eyes spotted someone talking to Ava. The clothes and stature resembled that of a man but his face wasn't visible as he was wearing a cap. Moving closer, she tried to catch a glimpse of the person.
"Joel," her eyes widened. She immediately squatted, behind a grave's stone to hide from Joel.
He was sitting quietly, looking fixedly at Ava's grave. Although only a part of his face was visible to Anna, she could still make out that he was in pain.
After God knows how long, he finally averted his gaze from Ava and looked at his watch. Mumbling something to Ava, he then got up and left.
Making sure that he was no longer there, Anna proceeded to her sister. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are, Ava? He still loves you and you-" she gasped. "You were so stupid to do this," she lowered her eyes. "I am never forgiving you for what you did," she pushed back the tear which threatened to escape her eye. "And I'll never forgive myself either," she mumbled, closing her eyes.
At that instant, she felt that she was not alone. "Please don't be a ghost! Please don't be a ghost!" she intoned while trying to catch sight through the corner of her eyes.
"I miss you so much Finn," the person sniffed.
"Wait, I know him…" she tried to recall where she had seen him. Settling down on the ground, she sincerely observed what he was doing.
When he got up and turned to leave she called out to him, "Was that your brother?"
The person stopped and observed her carefully before speaking. "I am sorry but do I know you?" he asked with his brows furrowed.
"Uhm, No. We haven't officially met but I saw you perform at Head's… I mean at Jack Robinson's birthday party. You were amazing that day!" she voiced.
"Hehe, thanks!" he smiled, flashing his dimples.
"Anna Carmeil," she held out her hand for a shake.
"Paul Garrison," he smiled formally.
"So.. is that your brother?" she asked again.
"That was my friend."
Anna nodded.
"Have you been crying too much, Anna?" he enquired forthrightly.
Anna's eyes widened at his question. "Ah..um, I-"
"Is that your sister?" he queried.
"How did you?"
"Lucky guess," he pointed at the name on the gravestone.
"Clever," she muttered.
"What?"
"Yes, that's my sister." She admitted.
"I see..." he nodded and carefully observed her. "You are beating yourself up for something. But whatever it is, trust me, you've to let it go or it will consume you," he voiced genuinely.
Anna was stunned. He just said everything which she wanted to hear but never allowed anyone else to say. Incapable of saying anything, she fixed her gaze on the ground.
"I didn't mean to pry! My apology," he glanced at her.
"It's okay," she blinked away the tear that formed in her eye.
"I assume you haven't eaten anything. Would you like to join me for breakfast?" he asked.
--------
Standing at the exit of the positively clean restaurant, Anna laughed hysterically at the joke cracked by Paul.
"The car's here, Should I drop you somewhere?" Paul asked as the Valet brought his car.
"Oh no, Thanks! I live nearby so I'll walk instead," she beamed.
"Sure?"
"Yup," she nodded confidently. Bidding their goodbyes, they parted ways.
Anna was humming her favorite song while walking down the road. A small but fond smile was perfectly etched on her face.
Just at that moment, she felt her phone vibrating. Before she could take it out from her pocket, the vibration stopped. "Nevermind," she resumed rambling.
Again the thing started vibrating. Quickly fetching it out from the pocket, she glanced at the caller ID- DAD.
"Yeah dad, I-
"WHAT?" she yelled.
--------
Anna was looking fixedly at the doc who was studying the reports of her mother.
"Has she been under too much stress lately?" the doc asked out of the blue.
"What? Umm...Actually, I- I don't know doc. I have been kinda busy with work so…" she answered hesitatingly.
"I see… Just make sure she isn't stressed. Rest everything's fine," the doc gave her a reassuring smile.
Anna sighed out in relief. "Thanks, doc."
Coming out from the doc's cabin, she fetched her phone out from her pocket to send a text message.
___________
From: Anna
To: Dad
Text: The doc said there's nothing to worry about. She'll be fine. I am heading back to you people.
__________
It was a long passageway with the cabins of all the specialists adjacent to each other. Anna was moving slowly, being lost in her thoughts. Out of the blue, a familiar voice captured her attention. She turned around and found herself standing by a cabin's door. She looked up at the nameplate.
_________
Dr. Wilson
Clinical Psychologist
_________
Stepping on her toes, she peeked inside the cabin to find the owner of that familiar voice.
"What the heck is Joel doing there?" She was left dumbfounded. "Is he having counseling sessions? But why?" she peeked inside and found Joel taking his leave. Turning around, she stepped back a little to avoid being seen.
Joel came out from the psychologist's cabin and headed towards the exit.
"You can't let him go away. Not now, not time Anna," her inner voice commanded.
"Wait, Joel!" she called out.
Joel stopped immediately hearing her voice. He turned around and his expressions clearly indicated how shocked he was to see her there.
"We need to talk," without looking at him, she grabbed his hand and took him to the other end of the passageway which was very quiet with nobody in sight.
"What is it, Anna?" Joel enquired in a rough tone.
Anna instantly stopped as she heard her name from him. She recalled the day when he called her name for the first time, sending her on cloud nine.
Letting go of his hand, she turned around to face him. "What's it with you, Joel? Why are you seeing a psychologist?" she observed his eyes, hoping to find an answer.
"That's none of your business, Anna. Stay out of it." He replied in a cold tone. Turning on his heels, he was about to leave.
"You still miss her, don't you?" she pressed her eyes. She wanted to say the word 'love' but couldn't find the courage to do so.
Joel turned back to face her. "Of Course, I do. Why wouldn't I?"
Anna's heart broke into a million pieces after hearing that. She felt happy for her sister but her heart wanted otherwise.
"Answer me, Anna. Why shouldn't I miss her? She was that one sister I always wanted to have in my life and you can't..." He was ranting but no words entered Anna's ears.
"Wait!" she interrupted him. "The what? Sister?" she raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, why? Do you have a problem with that?" he furrowed his brows and raised his voice.
"You weren't in a relationship with her?" she completely ignored the tone of his voice and chortled.
"Do you even realize what you are saying?" he gave her the 'What-Kind-Of-A-Question-Is-That' look.
"Just say yes or no," she scolded him.
"Absolutely not," he answered as obvious.
"OMG," she felt more happy than confused at that time. She started jumping up and down, with joy.
The expressions on Joel's face changed from cold to adoring with love. A small grin worked up its way to his face while his eyes glittered. Instantaneously, Anna stepped on her toes and kissed him on his cheeks, making his eyes go wide in surprise.
She retreated back to the normal standing position when her eyes met with his intense gaze. The realization hit her hard and she instantly regretted her silly move. Looking down, she slowly tried to slip away from him.
At that very moment, she felt a hand on her wrist but before she could react, she was pinned against the wall.