The Stone In Your Way

CONTENT WARNING: The following chapter contains verbal violence, which may trigger memories or cause discomfort to the audience. Proceed with caution to your heart.

Silvio trembled from inside out. His heart bombed once a strong blow of guilt. It hurt. He felt like curling up and hiding himself. He was doing something out of his dad’s permission; a total disrespect of his part. Shame prickled his skin and the voice in the back of his head remembered ‘you’re unworthy’, ‘you’re a bad son’.

‘I’ll be abandoned’, Silvio feared in the deep of his heart. He looked down, letting the shame complete its role of punishing him, followed by his dad’s slicing stare.

“Won’t you answer me?” The authority in his voice stomped the words at his throat.

Silvio apologized low, as a mouse who squeaked.

Watching his countenance wither, the dad threw up his chin and crossed his arms.

“I buy you a laptop, headphones, and I provide you with internet so you will study to achieve great grades, to be admitted to medical school. You asked, you pleaded, and I even fucking accepted that you can keep creating your stories, your ‘dream’. I agreed you can do it as long as you’re a doctor first.”

“I will, dad,” Silvio agreed, head still low.

“You aren’t being grateful to the opportunities I give you.” His dad held the doorknob, then looked at the headphone in his other hand. “These equipment are for you to study at home with the quality a son of mine deserves. I’ll confiscate this. So be grateful with what you have left.” He turned around, closing the door behind his figure.

“I’m not a miserable adopted son, but when you say ‘you aren’t being grateful to what I give you’, I feel like that...” Young Reis sneered softly. Sighed.

The door was opened again. The compressive stare he received in response from his dad shut his soul along all its emerging complaints this time. “Don’t you dare say that again. Or you’ll really try the distaste of your ungratefulness.”

It was at if that moment froze in his memory. Silvio couldn’t forget it in the next weeks. He canceled his voluntary participation in the online emergency call line, then studied as he had been doing as always. At high school, to back home. At home, all afternoon was spent in learning. Like this, November came, and along, one of the five admission tests that his dad had subscribed him to take, as training to enter a public university, arrived. A van picked him in the morning, then transported him and others to the test buildings. Afterwards, almost at night, his dad came to pick him himself, at the hour the tests ended.

With a smile, he patted his shoulder and said, “How was it?”

Silvio was looking downwards. He hadn’t been shining with his usual brightness for a while. Something was amiss, but teenager students were like this: They needed sacrifices made for them, or they wouldn’t make themselves, and with thus, came the annoyances of the age. His dad offered him a coxinha held through a napkin. “You must be hungry after thinking so much. Let’s have a juice somewhere nice around here.”

“Dad...” He called out before his father turned around. “Can I… at least be a doctor, but… but...” He inhaled deeply. “... a doctor of pets?” Young Reis looked up at him.

In the past few months, Young Reis didn’t look like this title a bit. His jaw was more defined, his brows thick as usual, but nowadays they added a charm to his now matured teeager-to-adult face and physique. Even his wisdom teeth appeared ready to descend at any moment in his X-ray solicitation from a dentist. They didn’t seem like they would come out, but they changed positions, nevertheless.

He grew up quick like usual boys; his body changed drastically in months. Although he was seeming more of a man, his dad looked at him as a future doctor, not a future…

“Pets don’t give money nor pay you for the ‘doctor’ check-up.”

“Their tutors do–”

“Don’t talk back. You’ll ruin our mood. I don’t want to hear you talk about this anymore.”

Silvio looked down again, blue black locks falling over his face. “I don’t like people...”

The Reis dad snickered. “Do doctors need to like people? They need to do a good job. A very good job. That’s all.” He walked away without waiting.

Silvio followed after his dad in slow steps. Surely, he wouldn’t give up on convincing his dad, however, he was dispirited after their talk that day.

Henrique noticed his son walking further in the back, barely making an effort to catch up. He didn’t want their moment too ruined, so he said, “You’ve been studying without even thinking of dating all this time, right? People in your age all care about only that, but you’ve been in good behavior… Maybe I’ll let you date someone after your grades turn out fine.” In truth, even him couldn’t do what his son was doing when he was his age. Would he admit it, though?

Silvio didn’t answer. He looked at the sky and prayed in silence. There must exist a solution somewhere. He hoped to find it soon.

‘Is there someone to hear me?

I am helpless. I can’t do much to get out of this.

If there really is someone out there, how can I find a solution?

Please, help me get out of this…

I don’t want to be a doctor.’