"Five years and that's all you have to say to me?" he asked. Standing so close she could taste his breath.

She wanted to move away from him. But she didn't want him to know just how much he affected her. So she stood right there. She wasn't going to let him intimidate her.


"Well... Is there anything else you want me to say?" she asked 

The side of his mouth moved upwards.

He was smiling? Why the hell was he smiling like that? She thought. She didn't remember saying anything funny.

"You left... Kitty" he said. "I asked you to stay... Begged you to stay... And you left anyways.. With him. And now you come back... Acting like everything is okay between us...?"

There was something about him... She thought. Something about the way he called her 'Kitty' that made her heart flip. He was the only one who called her that. She hadn't even realized how much she missed him calling her that. 

"You shouldn't have gone with him". He said. 

"Oh really? Why not? Because you didn't want me to?" she asked. She was starting to get angry. 

"Yeah that's right" he replied. "And because of what you felt for me -what we felt for each other. When I came near you, you felt an excitement so intense that you ceased to breathe --like you are feeling right now. You wanted me just as much as I wanted you. And that should have been enough to make you stay"

ALWAYS BEEN YOU 

She had turned him down. And it wasn't the first time. A week had passed since then, and maybe she was over thinking, but she beginning to feel him withdrawing from her and she couldn't blame him. It was never her intention to hurt him, and even now with Jeremy gone, she didn't think she was brave enough to take that step with anyone. She wasn't even sure if she would be able to open herself and her heart to anyone else. 


She looked at Howard. He had finished feeding. She lifted him up-right and began to rub his back to burp him, tilting her head so that she could feel his hair against her cheek. Despite the weariness that was coming back in a tidal wave and the fact that life had just thrown her another rather dramatic curveball, she found herself singing softly. 


Sleepyhead, close your eyes, for I’m right beside you… 


Chapter Two Hundred and Fourty Five