08 | Longing for a Best Friend

By the time I claim my spot at the lunch table, I have made up my mind about quitting the job.

I sit in the corner, trying my best not to get noticed by anyone. Maybe being invisible isn't all that bad. I look at the two girls sitting in front of me, giggling over something the other said in her ears.

Ever since Dad fell sick, I lost my childhood. I was a girl, more like a robot who'd wake up perform certain chores and fall back in her room alone. The only things I had on my mind were the bills, Dad's deteriorating health, and Mom's lack of socialization. I don't blame anyone for how my childhood passed by, but I always missed a best friend.

The sight of the girls makes my heart squeeze a little tighter. Suddenly, the longing for a best friend becomes prominent and the hole in my heart is wide open.

I want to gossip and bitch about people. I know it's bad, very bad...But sometimes you need a best friend with whom you can share your darkest secret, your insecurities, and still be accepted without judging. You want a sign language of yours and laugh out loud on the inner jokes.

You may go on without your other half but being without a best friend is miserable.

I look around and find almost everyone indulged in conversation with their mates. My stomach is churning. Before this, I never realized that you can feel loneliness in a room full of people too.

"Looking for me?" Ryan slips into the seat.

I look at his face, trying to read his expression. He seems as content and cheeky as he was yesterday. I notice the light freckles splattered across his porcelain white skin. The smile stretching across his face can make any girl drool.

But Aaron's word dawn on me and everything blackens out.

"Jason got it covered for you..."

I mentally cringe at the words and it feels as if I have been slapped across my face at the moment.

"I need to go to the restroom." In a swift movement, I pack my bag run to the restroom as if I am running for my life.

I gasp for air and take hold of the black marbled sink.

"Rough day?" A girl is standing behind me, fixing her platinum blond hair, startles me.

"Yeah." I swallow the lump that has been formed in my throat. I look at her reflection looking at me with concerned eyes through the mirror.

"High school isn't easy. " She mentions it as a matter of fact with an apologetic smile.

"I guess so." I feel like I have lost my motivation for the day. I just want to lock myself away in this washroom for the entire day.

"Hey! I guess you are in my biology class." She clasps her hand together, "Chin up girl, and come with me."

I look at her with utter disbelief. Is she genuinely being nice to me or just another facade like Ryan?

"Oh... I am Laurel." She offers me a wipe to clean the tears which have welled up in the corner of my eyes.

"I am Rose." I wipe my blotchy pink face and overcome the heaviness of my breathing.

"Rose Drew?"

"You know me?"

"That probably shouldn't be a question. Aaron..."

I guess the entire school still hasn't got over the day when Aaron dropped me.

"I don't want to talk about him."

"Never mind. He can be quite intimidating at times."

I can't deny it. What came out of her mouth is the ultimate truth. It seems like she knows him... Maybe she's another one of his hookup buddies?

I don't direct any more questions to her, because I don't know how will I handle the words that will come out of her pouty mouth.

She slips her hand in mine and squeezes it a little, "You will end up with wrinkles across your forehead soon if you keep those worry lines reappear between brows every once in a while. Don't worry whatever is troubling you, it will pass."

My chest that felt crushed by a thousand bricks since yesterday, the ease at her words. I may end up regretting this bubbling friendship too, but right now I need words of consolation more than anything.

I manage to avoid Ryan at the school and Aaron isn't home yet. So, I guess my guardian angel is pitying me for the first time in forever.

I change my clothes into a pink sundress and leather boots I bought from a thrift store. Dabbing a thin layer of makeup, I think of calling an end to my friendship with Ryan.

I look at the Dream Bean Coffee Shop, running in its majestic glory. The aroma escapes the shop and fills the road, tempting people to take a break from their pacing life. In this shop, you can see life slowing down in spite of the city hustling around it.

I close my eyes and swear silently. Why Ryan? Why you show up in the first place and treat me like I am a glass doll that can't take a blow?

"Are you going to ignore me all day?" Ryan asks while walking up to me. He holds a cup of coffee to me, "Energize yourself with this. Once you get in, you'll barely have time to keep up with your breathing."

The place is indeed crowded.

"Why you did it?" My voice drops to whisper, " I am tough Ryan. I can take what life throws at me."

"Did what?"

The door swings open and Maria comes out. Her tense body relaxes as she notices me.

"Thank God! You are here...." Her sight falls to my other side and her jaw drops, "What are you doing here, Ryan?"

She looks back and forth between us as we both are still holding the cup Ryan offered me. I move away from him, putting some distance between us.

"Do you guys know each other ?" Maria asks. Her voice is humble yet flabbergasted.

___

How many of you have longed for a best friend at some point in your journey?

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~xoxo